Why am I so Insecure as a Christian?

To the Girl Hiding in the Background afraid to Shine.....

"I see your heart. I know it all too well. We are the same.

You wear a mask of the girl you wish you could be. This mask feels like the only chance at fitting in. You work hard daily, saying yes to all the things to make God happy; to meet everyone’s expectations, doing all the things perfectly to earn the approval of God and others. This is how you guard your heart to avoid hurt and rejection.

Our teen years were hard, filled with these insecurities and a constant need for self-protection, both emotionally and physically. You’ve been told your whole life: “the world is evil, be aware of the bad guys”. This is why we hide behind a wall built of fear. If there was a positive to this, it would be your ability to read a room. You have great discernment of the people and environment around you.

You have a pure heart to serve others, you’re just so scared it won’t measure up. If you don’t know this yet, you are also a total romantic at heart, excited to live the fairytale life you grew up believing was real. You dream of having the sweet friendships you see on TV, but your life doesn’t look like theirs and you certainly don’t look like any of them. You don’t feel pretty or smart enough to be chosen. I cannot wait for you to finally know how amazing (and enough) your heart is."

I had the honor to submit a chapter in the new release Letters to My Teenage Self, Vol 2 created by my friend, Nicole Bateman. She asked us to think back on our Teens years and share encouragement for that same Teen today. 

This above is an excerpt from my Chapter in Letters To My Teenage Self. So many of us are hiding in the background of life, feeling less than in a hundred different ways. We wish we were prettier, more energetic, smart, funny, successful, daring. 

As Believers, I think we can get so busy worrying about pleasing God and others we take our eyes off of all we are and focus on all we are not, in the name of improvement and personal growth, and humility. 

I am certainly the first one to say I am not perfect but I was not always that way. I used to think to represent myself as a Christian women, a Church Leader, the Great Mom and Wife of Proverbs 31, I had to be perfect. But I wasn't, so I felt like. failure, all...the...time. This is where works based value slowly becomes our focus of striving towards the goal of worthiness.

God has created each of us in such a masterful and unique way that reflect all the endless characteristics of who He is and ultimately to share His glory, His character, His grace, His perfection, through our lives. It's not our job to be perfect or make everyone else happy. 

We are instruments of praise!!! 

We funnel His love, His peace, His kindness, His healing hope through us. 

What an honor.

In knowing He loves us as we are, we are strengthened and empowered

Even when we come to know this truth, there's still the overcoming part of living it out. I'll be writing about that in the next blog! 

Until then, you can check out the stories of these other 11 amazing women who shared their Letters here : Letters.MicheleDickerson.com.

SO much love straight from the Heart of God,
Your Sista Michele


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Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele