Feeling overwhelmed and on the brink of burnout is a common experience among Christian women juggling multiple responsibilities. With a staggering rise in burnout rates, notably among pastors, it's evident that this issue extends throughout the community, impacting personal well-being and spiritual health. Embracing rest, as modeled by The Creator on the seventh day, is crucial for balancing life, work, and faith.
The constant busyness many women experience can be spiritually, emotionally, and physically draining, compounded by the belief that rest is unspiritual or selfish. Yet, recognizing rest as a divine gift can transform our approach to life’s demands. By looking at Moses, we learn about the power of delegation, trusting in divine provision, facing challenges with faith, and nurturing relationships—all essential strategies to counter burnout.
Christian women can apply these lessons by embracing God-given rest, sharing responsibilities, nurturing their spiritual life, and building supportive relationships. Rest is not laziness; it’s essential for maintaining peace, wellness, and wholeness. As we learn to navigate life with balance and grace, let’s follow these biblical principles and enjoy the fullness of life as intended.
Read more...In the spirit of Valentine's Day, this blog post reflects on the profound lessons learned from three unique friendships, each illustrating different facets of love and connection. The first story recounts a friendship with a pastor's wife that blossomed unexpectedly, teaching the value of mutual support and growth in leadership and faith. This relationship, divinely orchestrated, became a cornerstone for both individuals during a crucial time of personal development and ministry.
The second narrative explores an unexpected bond formed during a sabbatical in Florida, where the author, initially resistant to new connections, found a friend whose outgoing nature and hospitality were exactly what was needed for spiritual growth. This friendship, though unplanned, played a vital role in deepening the author's relationship with the Lord, showcasing how God uses others to support us in our spiritual journeys. The beauty of this connection lay in its unexpectedness and the profound impact it had on both individuals.
Finally, the third story describes a surprising friendship formed at a women's conference, where the author and a stranger were assigned as roommates. Both women were dealing with personal struggles, particularly the roommate who was grieving a recent miscarriage. Their shared experiences of loss and understanding created a deep, comforting bond, demonstrating how God can bring people together in the most unexpected ways to provide solace and companionship. These stories collectively highlight the mysterious and wonderful ways in which friendships can manifest and nurture our souls.
Read more...In a world where many of us wear metaphorical masks to navigate our diverse roles, this article reflects on the journey of shedding those masks to reveal authenticity. The writer describes how perpetual smiling masks served as armor, presenting an image of strength and reliability while simultaneously concealing personal struggles and vulnerability. This narrative highlights the isolating nature of independence without community, encouraging a balance between giving to others and finding strength in one’s own needs being met.
The blog post underscores a transformative journey towards authentic leadership through the removal of such masks. As the writer shares personal struggles, it fosters a newfound connection with others facing similar challenges. The notion here is that true courage lies in vulnerability, where sharing both blessings and burdens bridges gaps and transforms previous protective barriers into collective strength and understanding.
Ultimately, the article advocates for genuine interactions surrounded by supportive communities that allow leaders to flourish. It emphasizes the importance of being supported by trusted friends and mentors, encouraging leaders to accept help and find solace in shared experiences. Embracing authenticity, leaders can demonstrate strength, instill healing, and foster an environment that allows their circle of influence to thrive genuinely and holistically.
Read more...
Where are my shy-ish Introverts at? I don't know about you but until recent years, it wasn't that I didn't want to have more new friends....I just didn't have the energy or strength to develop the friendships, so I thought. If you've experienced chronic fatigue or ailments, you know what I mean.
And since I am committed to always being transparent, deep inside there was a part of me that was also afraid to put myself out there and risk rejection. So I rejected myself on their behalf and avoided the pain of the potential, hypothetical rejection of connection. Instead, I stayed in the back, busy being....blocking all with a shy smile on my face.
The Lord knows the desires of our hearts and meets us where we are, giving us who and what we need for each season.
There are seasons He needs us to focus on friendship with Him above all else, learning to trust, learning who we are in Him, learning what we control and what we can't, learning the giving and receiving....so much...
I have been in seasons He was like, "Hey, here's a friend for ya!" and I wasn't even looking!! He's so gracious knowing what (and who) we need in our lives. When we trust Him, we learn how to let my heart open more quickly to the invitation to connect with a new heart. Not to say that they have full access, time reveals that part or permissions, but instead of avoiding them, we have opportunity to embrace them.
It has been so much fun finally coming back out of what has felt like hibernation...I have prayed and asked the Lord to enlarge my circle of trust for mutually connected heart sisters.
If you've ever had one-way friendships, you understand the mutually connected part....I have had both. One way, in that they didn't reciprocate the same way I was giving for whatever reason. Relationships have varying purposes and seasons. Sometimes we just grow apart or absent-minded and unintentional with our energy and focus.
Mutually connected for me means we have the same desire to serve and bless the other. It's reciprocal. These are much more rare to find the older we get. I am so thankful for the few the Lord has blessed me with. We show up in like-heartedness. No expectations, just desire to be in each other's lives and sharing life together whatever that looks like at any given season of time. Whether it is a few times a year getting together or a weekly coffee date, tis the season.
Some relationships are built or maintained online only. Some are from years past, an old friend. Some are in the the every day mix of things, doing life together, while others are random life pop ins and spontaneous moments together.
There's no right or wrong way to "friend." As we each play a part in the Body, so do we each
in the Heart of one another.
So as I look at the crowded tables, or the tables I don't feel like I am qualified to sit at, I pray and ask God to lead me to the table God has saved a seat for me. We can trust Him in this space, taking our eyes off of ourself, shifting away from fears, and focus on what He has in store.
Then, God gives us the invitation to ask Him for help filling the other seats at the table, unafraid and with eager anticipation for the heart coming to sit beside us. Maybe they will be a mutually connected sister-friend. Maybe they are a one way Divine appointment to love on for such a time as this alone, or perhaps we are their Divine appointment to receive love from.
For those of us who serve others through Hospitality and Encouragement, it's easy to get caught up thinking we are there to give, which is great, but one of the lessons I have had to learn, is God also places us at tables from which we are to receive, for such a time as this.
Are you ready in heart to look beyond your familiar circles and welcome new hearts to your "friendship table?"
Here are some ways to look for new Christian friendships:
- Be Intentional: Pray, asking God to prepare your heart and help you see the ones He has gifted to you in a season. You never know where these friendships will come from. But God does!
- Get Involved: Seek opportunities to surround yourself with other women who have common interests as you, seek friendships from different backgrounds, ages, or life stages. These relationships can broaden your perspective and deepen your faith whether they become part of your very inner circle or otherwise. I recently experienced this and I cherish my new friends so much.
- Practice Hospitality: Open your heart and if possible, your home. Set up a meet up online or off. Sharing a coffee or attending an event together is a powerful way to make new connections but as an Introvert especially if you lean towards shyness, don't wait around for the invite! BE the invite...even if it's on Zoom! I know it takes more from you if you're an Introvert or kinda on the shy side, but I promise you, the blessing is so good when you push past the nerve blocks.
- Join or Start a Small Group: This provides a structured environment to meet new people and grow together in faith around a topic you are both interested in whether it be online or offline and you don't have to lead it, just join it, until you're ready to create one.
- Volunteer: Serving alongside others often opens doors to meaningful friendships united by a common purpose.
- Be Patient: New friendships take time to develop. Don't rush the process or have set expectations of what the connection will be; allow trust and connection to grow into what God has planned.
- Pray for those Mutual Connections: Ask God to bring people into your life who will mutually encourage and stir up your faith as you give the same.
Remember, expanding your friendship circle and building a bigger table isn't always easy. It might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, especially for you shy Introverts. You might encounter differences in opinions or experiences. It's a great way to learn from others as we step outside of our own bubbles.
While I look to connect with people who have the same season as me, I also look for others who know more than me and have different experiences and gifting, expanding my little world, often sharpening me in places I find I am weaker.
Iron sharpening iron relationships are beautiful especially when they are inside the precious heart connection of Sisters.
As you welcome new friends into your heart, be prepared to both give and receive. You have unique gifts and experiences to offer others. Widening your friendship circle isn't just about personal growth; it's about building The Body of Christ, bringing Him the glory as we shine our Lights as a city on a hill!
Let's pray: Spirit, lead us, help us with courageous steps. Heavenly Father, give us courage to reach out beyond our comfort zones. Help us to see others as You see them, and to build friendships that reflect Your love. May our widening circles of friendship and tables we help build bring glory to Your name. Cast off all fear. Clear the seats set by You and help us partner with You to fill them, welcoming in the heart connections You have prepared for each one present. We trust You. We shine for You. We love You most. Amen.
As you expand your Christian friendships, remember Jesus' words in John 15:12, "Love each other as I have loved you." Let this be the foundation of all your friendships, old and new.
For more in the Sister Series, check out a recent one here.
If you struggle with social courage, I've got you with some practical help here.
Hugs & Love, Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Let's Talk about stepping outside of our comfort zone as a shy Christian Introvert while navigating social Interactions. I've talked about Overcoming Social Anxiety over here in this blog so feel free to hop over there afterwards if that's something you've struggled with too...
Today, lets talk about talking to anyone, anytime and how to overcome this freak out moment we feel the moments we walk into a new space and feel overwhelmed, whether it's running into a neighbor, sitting next to a stranger and trying to not make eye contact, or attending events knowing you will be meeting people since it's....an....event! LOL (The blog mentioned above will deep dive into that for ya!)
I think most Introvert women don't find it extremely hard to talk to people, because we already choose to talk to a few people at a time anyway, AND those few people are usually, OUR people. It's when we get outside of our comfortzones and have to manage the anxiety that comes with unprepared conversations!!
This used to trigger me so much I would never go to social events alone, always hiding behind my extrovert friend....and forever, not making eye contact in order to avoid being called on in a group setting, or engaging in the small talk of meeting someone. Cuz you think it makes you invisible...haha, not so! They will just yell your name louder or walk straight up to your face and start talking! It's best to look up, just saying!
I don't know what's scarier, a big group setting or a small group. In big group, you can more easily camouflage in whereas the smaller groups, they can look you in the eye and start talking to you! EEK!!! It's not that we don't LOVE the people, its the trigger of sheer panic in the unknown of what's about to happen!
What will they ask me...What will I say when they ask whatever...Will I look stupid....Will I fumble my words...Will I forget my words...Will I have a piece of salad in my teeth from the dinner... Will they ignore me, make fun of me, see my insecurities....Will they reject me and exclude me from that point on from anything qualifying me as their friend or partner, or whatever the circumstance.
Just the thought of going to a new place alone would raise the panic into the Numb-Zone or Robot-Zone. If you've had panic and anxiety, you likely know the feeling of auto-pilot, avoidance, out of body experiencing of the moment, grasping for breath and control....controlling of your thoughts zinging all around in your head, your heart rate running on a treadmill and not stepping off any time soon, all the while smiling and listening to the actual conversation happening, not the one you are thinking COULD happen, or may be happening between the words layered on the ACTUAL one....oh boy what a spastic space!
Instead of completely avoiding, numbing, or anxiety amnesia and have no clue what happened, I would love to help you find some PEACE & JOY and STOP panicking when you talk to someone. It's gonna take being intentional with your energy and focus...and practice for your heart and brain to learn where it is safe. So, lets talk about the 3 things you can do to talk to others rooted in LOVE and not FEAR! By combining practical tips with the wisdom of scriptures, any shy girl can find courage! I SURE HAVE and let me tell you....it will change every part of your life, most importantly your relationships and even more precious, your relationship with Your Heavenly Father! Ohhh, it's gooooood. I am so excited for you!!
Tip 1: Prayerful Preparation
One of key things for overcoming anxiety is preparation. Before entering any social setting, PRAY and step into Grace the won't let you go! Take a minute and consider that GOD has not only pinned this day for you, but He is also with you. He also has not only equipped you for this encounter, but He is WITH you in it too!!! When we remember the Foundation we stand on, the presence He promises, when we turn our eyes on His purposes (I talked about this in the above blog), we can step into the unknown knowing we re not alone nd there is nothing we cannot handle with Him beside us.
Don't mistake nerves for fear. It's okay to be a little nervous, it IS the unknown. It helps me lean more onto God for His help with words, energy, focus, purpose, comfort, wisdom, discernment. As I prepare, I am entering into worship of praise. Praise and Worship move the focus off of me and fretting about all I am not, and instead, focus on all GOD IS!
So, deep breath and lean into Philippians 4:6-8, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Think on these things..." the are GOOD!
Tip 2: Listening with Love
Instead of dwelling on the fear of saying the wrong thing, or wondering what they are thinking, shift your focus to genuine listening. Proverbs 2:2-5 encourages us to "turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding." By actively listening, you not only connect with others on a deeper level but also alleviate the pressure of constant talking.
Most people enjoy talking about themselves and I found this to be a great way to deflect from myself having to talk, and risk being judged. Sadly, while this helped me be a great listener, I became a good stuffer, hiding my own thoughts and feelings to feel safe and unseen. Learning to listen with a filter of Love means genuine exchange, giving and receiving between each one, including YOU!
Tip 3: Anticipation not Anxious
Scripture emphasizes the importance of fixing our eyes on Jesus during challenging times. Hebrews 12:2 encourages us to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the perfecter of faith." When we recognize that our racing heart and lump in our throat can come from sheer panic as well as extreme joy, as I sit in worship, sit in Love, I can reframe my brain to seek anticipation of something amazing about to connect between us. I consider what if I am being sent by God to be His hands and feet, His heart hug to this person. What a humbling thought to consider, being a vessel of hope and love to someone else in Jesus Name.
As Christ followers, this is our purpose! We bridge gaps of Heaven and Earth with Love. If we surrender our hearts nd minds to God, He can more feely move through us. It is a wondrous freedom!! Fear submits to faith and faith leads us into Love where we find joy and peace, courage and confidence. Its exciting to believe you are sent.
Does that mean awareness doesn't happen? Does that mean every conversation will be flowing and memorable, profound and life altering for you or them? No. Let go of the pressure of any outcome!
This should be BONUS TIP #4! JUST SHOW UP, willing, available, courageous and prepared to see something new because you know, He's renewing our minds and always doing a new thing! His mercies are new every single morning. He can do immeasurably more than we can ever think or imagine!
Be patient and practice!!! Focus on Love, not loss...fear what blessing you'll miss rather than what you'll mess up! His heart is for you and is near! Grace upon Grace!!! Jesus is your Guide, Way, Words, Strength, Support, Courage, Peace and very breath. Give Him your breath.
He's got you!!! Keep your eyes open for the women and Mentors He will place in your path to sharpen your iron. They will lift you through their example and affirmations, prayers. Learn from them. Humble yourself, admit where you are feeling weak and let them step into courage with you!! It's a powerful and beautiful learning and rising up to the Glory and Grace of God!!
He's Got You...They've Got You...and I've got you too! I will be hosting workshops and challenges in my Sister Group (ButGodSisterSquad.com) to help you practice these things but in your every day life, pray and practice! There are no do overs in life. LIVE IT!!!!!! A 7 Day Love Others Challenge is happening in there already!
So much anticipation & love for you!
Your Fellow Shy Introvert,
Michele
Hey - If you haven't seen my list of tons of ways you share love with others, grab it here! LoveForAll.MicheleDickerson.com
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
