Let's Talk about stepping outside of our comfort zone as a shy Christian Introvert while navigating social Interactions. I've talked about Overcoming Social Anxiety over here in this blog so feel free to hop over there afterwards if that's something you've struggled with too...
Today, lets talk about talking to anyone, anytime and how to overcome this freak out moment we feel the moments we walk into a new space and feel overwhelmed, whether it's running into a neighbor, sitting next to a stranger and trying to not make eye contact, or attending events knowing you will be meeting people since it's....an....event! LOL (The blog mentioned above will deep dive into that for ya!)
I think most Introvert women don't find it extremely hard to talk to people, because we already choose to talk to a few people at a time anyway, AND those few people are usually, OUR people. It's when we get outside of our comfortzones and have to manage the anxiety that comes with unprepared conversations!!
This used to trigger me so much I would never go to social events alone, always hiding behind my extrovert friend....and forever, not making eye contact in order to avoid being called on in a group setting, or engaging in the small talk of meeting someone. Cuz you think it makes you invisible...haha, not so! They will just yell your name louder or walk straight up to your face and start talking! It's best to look up, just saying!
I don't know what's scarier, a big group setting or a small group. In big group, you can more easily camouflage in whereas the smaller groups, they can look you in the eye and start talking to you! EEK!!! It's not that we don't LOVE the people, its the trigger of sheer panic in the unknown of what's about to happen!
What will they ask me...What will I say when they ask whatever...Will I look stupid....Will I fumble my words...Will I forget my words...Will I have a piece of salad in my teeth from the dinner... Will they ignore me, make fun of me, see my insecurities....Will they reject me and exclude me from that point on from anything qualifying me as their friend or partner, or whatever the circumstance.
Just the thought of going to a new place alone would raise the panic into the Numb-Zone or Robot-Zone. If you've had panic and anxiety, you likely know the feeling of auto-pilot, avoidance, out of body experiencing of the moment, grasping for breath and control....controlling of your thoughts zinging all around in your head, your heart rate running on a treadmill and not stepping off any time soon, all the while smiling and listening to the actual conversation happening, not the one you are thinking COULD happen, or may be happening between the words layered on the ACTUAL one....oh boy what a spastic space!
Instead of completely avoiding, numbing, or anxiety amnesia and have no clue what happened, I would love to help you find some PEACE & JOY and STOP panicking when you talk to someone. It's gonna take being intentional with your energy and focus...and practice for your heart and brain to learn where it is safe. So, lets talk about the 3 things you can do to talk to others rooted in LOVE and not FEAR! By combining practical tips with the wisdom of scriptures, any shy girl can find courage! I SURE HAVE and let me tell you....it will change every part of your life, most importantly your relationships and even more precious, your relationship with Your Heavenly Father! Ohhh, it's gooooood. I am so excited for you!!
Tip 1: Prayerful Preparation
One of key things for overcoming anxiety is preparation. Before entering any social setting, PRAY and step into Grace the won't let you go! Take a minute and consider that GOD has not only pinned this day for you, but He is also with you. He also has not only equipped you for this encounter, but He is WITH you in it too!!! When we remember the Foundation we stand on, the presence He promises, when we turn our eyes on His purposes (I talked about this in the above blog), we can step into the unknown knowing we re not alone nd there is nothing we cannot handle with Him beside us.
Don't mistake nerves for fear. It's okay to be a little nervous, it IS the unknown. It helps me lean more onto God for His help with words, energy, focus, purpose, comfort, wisdom, discernment. As I prepare, I am entering into worship of praise. Praise and Worship move the focus off of me and fretting about all I am not, and instead, focus on all GOD IS!
So, deep breath and lean into Philippians 4:6-8, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Think on these things..." the are GOOD!
Tip 2: Listening with Love
Instead of dwelling on the fear of saying the wrong thing, or wondering what they are thinking, shift your focus to genuine listening. Proverbs 2:2-5 encourages us to "turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding." By actively listening, you not only connect with others on a deeper level but also alleviate the pressure of constant talking.
Most people enjoy talking about themselves and I found this to be a great way to deflect from myself having to talk, and risk being judged. Sadly, while this helped me be a great listener, I became a good stuffer, hiding my own thoughts and feelings to feel safe and unseen. Learning to listen with a filter of Love means genuine exchange, giving and receiving between each one, including YOU!
Tip 3: Anticipation not Anxious
Scripture emphasizes the importance of fixing our eyes on Jesus during challenging times. Hebrews 12:2 encourages us to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the perfecter of faith." When we recognize that our racing heart and lump in our throat can come from sheer panic as well as extreme joy, as I sit in worship, sit in Love, I can reframe my brain to seek anticipation of something amazing about to connect between us. I consider what if I am being sent by God to be His hands and feet, His heart hug to this person. What a humbling thought to consider, being a vessel of hope and love to someone else in Jesus Name.
As Christ followers, this is our purpose! We bridge gaps of Heaven and Earth with Love. If we surrender our hearts nd minds to God, He can more feely move through us. It is a wondrous freedom!! Fear submits to faith and faith leads us into Love where we find joy and peace, courage and confidence. Its exciting to believe you are sent.
Does that mean awareness doesn't happen? Does that mean every conversation will be flowing and memorable, profound and life altering for you or them? No. Let go of the pressure of any outcome!
This should be BONUS TIP #4! JUST SHOW UP, willing, available, courageous and prepared to see something new because you know, He's renewing our minds and always doing a new thing! His mercies are new every single morning. He can do immeasurably more than we can ever think or imagine!
Be patient and practice!!! Focus on Love, not loss...fear what blessing you'll miss rather than what you'll mess up! His heart is for you and is near! Grace upon Grace!!! Jesus is your Guide, Way, Words, Strength, Support, Courage, Peace and very breath. Give Him your breath.
He's got you!!! Keep your eyes open for the women and Mentors He will place in your path to sharpen your iron. They will lift you through their example and affirmations, prayers. Learn from them. Humble yourself, admit where you are feeling weak and let them step into courage with you!! It's a powerful and beautiful learning and rising up to the Glory and Grace of God!!
He's Got You...They've Got You...and I've got you too! I will be hosting workshops and challenges in my Sister Group (ButGodSisterSquad.com) to help you practice these things but in your every day life, pray and practice! There are no do overs in life. LIVE IT!!!!!! A 7 Day Love Others Challenge is happening in there already!
So much anticipation & love for you!
Your Fellow Shy Introvert,
Michele
Hey - If you haven't seen my list of tons of ways you share love with others, grab it here! LoveForAll.MicheleDickerson.com
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
In this blog post, the author shares her personal experiences of fear, anxiety, and insecurity when faced with new things. She emphasizes that embracing new adventures can transform our lives if we say yes to the new path and walk by faith, not by sight. The author provides three steps to overcome fear and embrace new experiences: pray for trust and surrender, partner up with like-minded sisters for support and mentorship, and praise through worship to dissolve worry and cast aside insecurities. She encourages readers to let go of the fear of the unknown and to have faith as they boldly step through open doors.
Read more...In this blog post, the author shares about a personal experience of feeling like giving up and how they discovered a different perspective through personal development. They discuss the importance of worshiping in our worry, trusting in God's character, and developing resilience through faith. Readers are invited to join the conversation on emotional intelligence, trust, resilience, and faith through a provided link.
This blog post explores the author's journey of learning to overcome moments of doubt and uncertainty. By shifting their focus to worship and trusting in God, they experienced growth and maturity in their faith. The post encourages readers to embrace emotional intelligence, trust, and resilience in their own lives.
Read more...
Hii Friend!! I am so glad you're HERE for the WHOLE ENCHILADA!!! Well, it's not really an enchilada although I would love to share one with you, Texas Girl here, but for now, here we are.
I pray this guide helps you transformative tools and encouragements to help you reduce stress and menopause silliness in both - your Heart & Home! This is great for any woman of any age, but highly encouraging for those of us entering or already in the Meno-Mama phase.
I could literally write a book on each of these but for now, I will write out as much as I can to get your heart a big dose of HOPE and a big heart hug with links for the practical every day things!
Okay, let's get in to this real application conversation! That's my favorite! Nothing hypothetical here......Let's Get in to this!!!!! And yes, there is a FREE Ebook coming too!!!
I KNOW I am not the only one who has felt that BURN-OUT!!! When you've hit that wall and you're DONE.
How about feeling anxious? Overwhelmed? Stressed but 100% Blessed and you KNOW that for a fact, even when the waters rise and the winds blow, the blessing is still there! I get you!!! I am you!!!! Feel free to pop around in my blogs! I share all about these things in here with hopes to stir your faith and joy to a place of courage!
For me, burn out seemed to happened in waves. I would learn to take some “self-care” moments only to feel guilt and hustle right back to where I was. Anyone else familiar with Mom Guilt? Wife Guilt? Church Volunteer Guilt? Friend Guilt? Work Guilt? You feel like you need a vacation, and a staycation will do too....but afterwards...you feel tired again....rested, but not energized. UGH! I knooooooowwww.... The question that needs answering is "How do I stop feeling guilty when I need to rest or take a break." Simple answer is: Surrender. Let's get into it all.
Stress induced anxiety is something many people feel on a daily basis and we don't really talk about it because it FEELS like we are the only ones not hanging all the things like everyone else seems to.. We assume we are the ones doing something wrong, because the unspoken assumption as a Christian is we are strong, fearless, anxious for nothing, confident and able because our faith is so big. Ohhhh, the terrifying beauty of a life grace....grace upon grace.
Lord, help us create bigger space for grace! Take us deeper and further towards the depths of Your heart. We trust You.
It's a scheme of the enemy to keep us quiet! We are humans with all the feelings and emotions. A quick look in the Psalms and you'll probably find one that expresses where you are too. It is normal to feel the feels. It is what we do with them that sets us apart from others who do not have a believing faith to carry them through the valleys and storms of life. We cast our cares, we step out of boats, stand in fires, sit in prison and stare lions in the face.
If you're someone who experiencing chronic stress, anxiety, insecurity, burn out, I know how you feel. I was there and unfortunately, and thankfully, God sat me down and we had a long therapy session, workshop style! LOL
It's an Even If Life Lesson. Even if I am hurting, confused, scared...I want to worship. Our bodies, our hearts, our minds can all break down and we fight for the contentment in giving thanks in all circumstances, even if. Where it gets tougher is when we are the Encourager in the family or relationship yet we break. That's the main hustle...trying to keep ourselves from falling part while we keep everyone and everything else together. That was me too. Stressed, but blessed. Blessed, but stressed. We cn be BOTH, we just don't want to get so stressed, there is no room for the bless!
As someone who has dealt with that her whole life, I would love to share some of the steps I have taken over the many years, some even recently, that have helped me overcome the seasons,...and the breaths and hopefully help you move back, away from the burn out into freedom and peace in your mind and your body.
Yes, I mention body because way back in the day, I thought healing was done in silos....body, mind and spirit being all separate elements. And while they are, they equally require attention to heal. This is why I don't talk just about mindset, or movement or praying. It's ALL OF IT!!! I will share a link at the end of this of what things I am using to help support my body now that I have learned and lived it for so many years.
I think this is turning into an ebook. I will link it once it is created and uploaded!
Here are 3 Things (and some Resources) When my Feelings Swirl:
1.) Seek Him First, Matthew 6:33
ALWAYS & ALWAYS!! Did I mention always?!? Okay....As a Christian Woman, my greatest Defense, Strength, Peace, and Joy, come through my relationship with Jesus. Knowing Him as Father, Savior, Reigning King and Friend is where our hope and help come from. This is accomplished through seeking Him in Prayer, Being in His Word and Community.
The more you know Him, the more you will trust Him. The more you trust, the more your heart feels able to surrender control, allowing Him to lead you through valleys of work as well as rest alongside still waters. This is accomplished through Prayer and dwelling in His Word. Worship is a way of Life, not a song you sing.
The Lord IS my firm and sure Foundation upon which I fall, stand, kneel, build, rest, fight, receive, learn and grow. He knows our thoughts without a word falling from our lips because he hears our heart's whispers. Thing is, while we can find this in the midst of crisis, how much easier would it be is we lived daily on this Foundation of Truth.
Getting in the Word doesn't need to be a complex thing. Keep it simple and follow His leading. He has surely already been placing bread crumbs along the way to lead you to the next thing. I used to think I needed a highlighter, pen, pencil, dictionary, concordance, notepad, music...just to meet with Him! Oh it was an event! Is there are time and place for digging in and doing an in depth study? Sure! But that is not what a daily seeking is meant to be. He is seeking relationship....not righteous acts.
To seek Him first, you need your heart check, FIRST, then tools if you choose!
- Bible Study Tools:
I did fall in love with the Bible App. It does have some great plans built inside it. It has the audio option for Bible reading too. I love it!!! So if you're looking for a Bible app, I LOVE the FREE YouVersion app! You cn find it wherever you get your apps from in the Apple or Google places.
My Favorite Study Bible is the ESV Study Bible but find one you feel led to!
Nowadays, there are tons of Study tools like apps, journals and devotionals, Notetaking Bibles, and things like podcasts, shows, conferences, workshops and of course sermons. This is not something you have to do alone either. Find your Inner Circle friends. I am mostly old-school and like paper books in my hands to hold, but when I research, I do appreciate the quick answers to questions without pulling out the big books! I do have some journals for Sermon Notes & prayer requests on Amazon and a journal for helping you document and remember the moments God moves..
- Praying:
Keep it simple...Acknowledge Him as Lord, worship in adoration, cast your cares, confess your sins, listen for HIs response and say amen. The most important thing I have learned is prayer truly is a conversation that should be vulnerable between you and The Lord. He is listening because He is near. You don't need to dress it up and edit your prayers. Then, be still and listen. For me, prayer isn't a one and done thing each morning....it's "praying without ceasing."
For me, intercessional prayer is a big part of the Seeking. It’s easy for us Introverts to hide and while we need to take alone time for ourselves it’s important to gather your Sister Circle so they can be what I call the 4 Corner Friends, carrying you on the mat to Jesus. They will stand with you when you grow weary and cheer with you in the victories. Let them in.
I know some you will cringe at that cuz let's face it, we are Leaders in our own rights and we don't really 'need" anyone else to help us. We also don't want people to know we are hurting or don't have things together right now. We know we can handle this season, by ourselves. I get that! I did that for most of my life until I couldn't. I had to set down my SuperWoman pridefulness and let down my gate to the fortress of me and let some people in, to be the hands and feet of Jesus to me.
2.) Purify & Cleanse! Reduce the toxic loads inside and outside your heart, mind and soul.
I know the sounds weird...trust me! I wish I would have learned all of this years ago!!! Toxic hearts, heads and homes can totally fuel our anxiety and stress levels! Let's discuss briefly:
Emotionally...heart & head.
- Learning to establish boundaries is crucial. While you may not be able to remove people or circumstance from your life, you are able to set boundaries that create space for you to move in peace. This is why prayer is #1. Seeking Him is asking for Guidance and this comes through His Holy Spirit and a million other ways we recognize as "signs." Test the spirit's voice and heed accordingly. Sometimes He will call us away from things, sometimes towards things. Move accordingly.
- Gratitude is super important here too. When we allow God to renew our minds, we are working towards purity of thoughts which affect our actions. What we focus on, we feed. While a pity party feels kinda nice for a moment, we cannot stay there. Honor where you are, feel what you feel, and cast them over to the Lord with thanksgiving and praise. Do not sweep them under the rug, or minimize them. You feel what you feel, but let's allow truth and faith to rinse through these thoughts.
- Learning to say Yes to the best and bless the rest with a No Thank you is another practical help. Us Encouragers, those of us who love to bless the socks off people, have a really hard time saying No. But No is a blessing opened up for someone else too.
- Taking some heart time with a Sister Friend will refresh your soul! And if you can take a minute to pray when prompted, do it!! A cord of 3 is not easily broken.
- Aromatherapy is something you can incorporate in your own home and as you travel, 24/7.
Physically...our body and home.
- Get some fresh air!! Take a walk, get some Vitamin D sunshine on your skin. I have also enjoyed grounding, simply sitting outside on the ground GOD made...in the grass, at the beach. out by the water, but at minimum, my own backyard, is sooo good to get out of the house and sit in all the senses of God's creation.
- We live in a world full of chemicals and toxins, so any place in our routine we are able to reduce them will be beneficial to our body as a whole, reducing the stress we take on physically and emotionally. Swapping out harsh chemicals in cleaning products, candles, foods, skin care, even medications is helpful and easy. Reducing the load of toxins in our body causing inflammation is as vital to our body as is prayer to our soul! Trust me...google this and have fun on that research rabbit hole! I buy healthy skincare, makeup and cleaning products!
- Ohhhh and those sugars and caffeines....be careful and do your research! Sugar feeds things we don't want besides our sweet tooth. If you struggle with "food noise" try these peptides.
- In 2022, I was at my heaviest weight and was ready to begin taking care of my Temple! More about that in the linked blog below! In the meantime, pay attention to nutrition and healthy choices!
- I gave up my Dr Pepper sodas. I used to drink them almost all week alongside my teas and coffees...I thought those counted as 8 cups of liquids. NOPE! Caffeine is okay just in moderation. I drink all my water but I also enjoy everything else except alcohol. Same with coffee and tea. Finding moderation that works for your body and healthy versions of them is important to support yourself in body and mind.
- I also added supplements into my family's daily habits which you can find HERE in the blog.
3.) Get Moving!
No, you don't need to actually move zip codes! But you do need to move in your body, mind and spirit.
Depending how you process stress, you may be a runner or a retreater. My hubby releases stress with hyper movement which means he will go to the gym or go for a long bike ride.
For me, I retreat when I am stressed... There will times I shut down and need to cuddle up on those low energy days and lay low but there are other days I need to get my body moving and push!!
When we are overwhelmed some of us escape, shut down and basically run away or try to hide. I sooooo get that. We need space to process our deep thoughts and feelings in the moment, but we cannot allow ourselves to just sit in it and dwell in darkness for endless amounts of time. Moving our body physically is helpful to release the right hormones and energy cells and there’s just soooo much I have read about it and hear all the wellness experts telling us, so let’s get moving.
Having said that, honor your space too. It's okay to rest and be still. We need that time. Just want to be clear about that!
What it looks like...
When I am beginning to feel that overwhelm and I feel myself shrinking back, heart rate elevates and I start getting ancy or sinking back, I will retreat to a space I know my deep breaths will not be interrupted as I sit with the Lord.
It maybe going to the gym or on a walk, a drive in my car, slowly running errands with my playlist at top volume so I can soak in worship. Maybe you can close your bedroom door and curl up with your favorite blanket to read, write, pray, call a friend, worship, or maybe it's a long hot shower.
I live on the water, so somedays I will take my paddleboard or boat out and float around, sometimes with my worship music or silence but always, with my oils and water.
Movement with others in mind...
You can also get moving in Love. No, not that kind of movement. Love through acts of kindness.
It truly is a blessing to Bless, so ask the Lord to show you how you can be a vessel of Love to someone else. It may be something as simple as reaching out to someone He brings to mind with a text or phone call, maybe a coffee date or going for a walk. Maybe it's serving in your community or helping a neighbor, hanging with a Sista and making plans for some upcoming things (future casting).
You can even pop in to the social medias and bless a whole bunch of people with an encouraging post or comments. There's no end to where you can bless!
I promise you, you will feel less of a mess when you bless!
At the same time, allow yourself to be on the receiving end too. Pray for sweet Sisters who align with your spirit and build that foundation of trust. There will be seasons of comings and goings of people in your life. Trust Him with them. let Him bring in your circle the ones He has planned for you. Watch that wall fear builds and instead, build a bridge that allows the coming and goings.
Grace Upon Grace, Boundaries, Sisterhood, Cleansing, Renewing the Mind and Body, Movement, Serving and Loving Others....all these precious "things" create our own little world of Peace and Hope! It is up to US, to create space for grace in our heart and home.
I would LOVE for you to join me in my Community for Introverted and RISING UP Women of Faith.
We are the BUT GOD SISTER SQUAD!!!!!
Other resources that you will find helpful are Christian apps like YouVersion and ministries like Lifeway Women, Women of Faith and Proverb 31 Ministries to name a few.
If you missed the Products Blog, here it is again for ya!
I've listed as much of what I use in there with links to make it super easy for you!!
Okay friends, that's all for now. I am praying as I write this, what feels like a book, it blesses you in every way.
I pray this guide helps you get your heart moving in hope and possibility, of what's possible. What we allow into our body, our mind, our soul, matter! The more toxic thoughts and things we allow in, the more energy we must use to manage it. I want to use my energy in so many other beautiful ways as blessings, not constantly fighting.
My prayer is constantly, Cleanse me Lord, purify my heart, my mind, my body so that I can be filled with more of You and work in Your strength, peace and purpose.
When I am feeling heavy and weighed down, the less I want to move. Help me make room, lying it all down at Your feet and help me moooooove in body, mind and spirit Lord....
Lord, today we surrender deeper still, again, to Your calling on our lives to honor You in all we think, say and do.
Help us know how to to care for our temples, these temporary earthly vessels so our feet move with fervor and our hands hold strong the things You place in them.
Clear out the distractions and make clear our path once again.
Light up our paths and lead us. We trust You and Love You.
Forgive us when we start to fret and pull back.
Send us those 4 corner friends Lord who lead us to You in our time of need. Send us Lifters and let us be Lifters for others too.
We surrender our laziness, stubbornness, fear and pride.
We need You Lord.
Renew our minds and refresh our hearts.
To You be all the Glory forever! In Your Son's Redeeming Name, Christ our Lord,
amen.
All the Grace, Hope and Love,
Michele
If you enjoyed this guide or topic, this is what I love to talk about in the blogs! Feel free to read around! Head over to www.WhereFaithIs.com or click on the Heart Blog tab at the top and enjoy! So much love for ya!!!! HUGS!!!!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
