Where are my shy-ish Introverts at? I don't know about you but until recent years, the thought of putting myself out there to make new friends was far fetched....not that I didn't want to have more new friends....I just didn't have the energy or strength to develop the friendships, so I thought.
And since I am committed to always being transparent, deep inside there was a part of me that was afraid to try and risk rejection. So I rejected myself on their behalf and avoided the pain of the potential, hypothetical rejection of connection. Instead, I stayed in the back, busy being....blocking all with a shy smile on my face.
The Lord knows the desires of our hearts and meets us where we are, giving us who and what we need for each season.
There were seasons He needed me to focus on friendship with Him above all else, learning to trust, learning who I was in the relationship, learning what I could control and what I couldn't, learning the value I had within me to offer other without fear....so much...
I have been in seasons He was like, "Hey, here's a friend for ya!" and I wasn't even looking!! He's so gracious and knowing. Because I trust Him, I have learned to let my heart open more quickly to the invitation to connect with a new heart. Not to say that they have full access, time reveals that part or permissions, but instead of avoiding them, I embrace them. It has been so much fun to finally coming back out of what has felt like hibernation or the wilderness...I have prayed and asked the Lord to enlarge my circle of trust for mutually connected heart sisters.
If you've ever had one-way friendships, you understand the mutually connected part....I have had both. One way, in that my heart was closed and hiding...one way in that they didn't reciprocate the same way I was giving for whatever reason. Sometimes sessions simply change. Sometimes we can just grow apart or absent-minded and unintentional with our energy and focus.
Mutually connected for me means we have the same desire to serve, show and bless the other. These are much more rare to find. I am so thankful for these few the Lord has blessed me with. We show up consistently randomly. There are no expectations, just desire to be in each other's lives and sharing life together whatever that looks like at any given season of time. Some of these friends are a few times of getting together in a year friendships, but still so rich. Some are online only. Some are from years past, an old friend. Some are in the the every day mix of things, doing life together while others are random life pop ins and spontaneous moments together.
There's no right or wrong way to "friend." As we each play a part in the Body, so do we each in the Heart of one another.
So as I look at the crowded tables, or the tables I don't feel like I am qualified to sit at, I pray and ask God to lead me to the table God has saved a seat for me. I trust Him in this space, taking my eyes off of myself, shifting away from my fears to focus on what He has in store.
Then, I ask Him to help me fill the other seats at the table, unafraid and with eager anticipation for the heart coming to sit beside me and mingle with the Lord and I. Maybe they will be a mutually connected sister-friend. Maybe they are a one way Divine appointment for me to love on for such a time as this alone, or perhaps I am their Divine appointment to receive love from.
It's easy to get caught up thinking we are there to give and seeking ways we can do that, which is great, but one of the lessons I have had to learn, is God also places me at tables from which I am to receive fully, for such a time as this.
Are you ready in heart to look beyond your familiar circles and welcome new hearts to your "friendship table?"
Here are some ways to look for new Christian friendships:
- Be Intentional: Pray, asking God to bring awareness to the ones He has gifted to you. You never know where these friendships will come from. But God does!
- Get Involved: Seek opportunities to surround yourself with other women who have common interests as you, seek friendships from different backgrounds, ages, or life stages. These relationships can broaden your perspective and deepen your faith whether they become part of your very inner circle or otherwise. I recently experienced this and I cherish my new friends so much.
- Practice Hospitality: Open your heart and if possible, your home or a meet up on line or off. Sharing a coffee or attending an event together is a powerful way to make new connections but as an Introvert especially if you lean towards shyness, don't wait around for the invite! BE the invite...even if it's on Zoom! I know it takes more from you if you're an Introvert or kinda on the shy side, but I promise you, the blessing is so good when you push past the blocks.
- Join or Start a Small Group: This provides a structured environment to meet new people and grow together in faith around a topic you are both interested in whether it be online or offline and you don't have to lead it, just join it, until you're ready to create one.
- Volunteer: Serving alongside others often opens doors to meaningful friendships united by a common purpose.
- Be Patient: New friendships take time to develop. Don't rush the process or have set expectations of what the connection will be; allow trust and connection to grow into what God has planned.
- Pray for those Mutual Connections: Ask God to bring people into your life who will mutually encourage and stir up your faith.
Remember, expanding your friendship circle and building a bigger table isn't always easy. It might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first. You might encounter differences in opinions or experiences and that's actually great to learn from others and step outside of our own bubbles. While I look to connect with people who have the same heart as me, I am also looking for others who know more than me and have different experiences and gifting to expand my little world, and sharpen me in places I find I am weaker.
Iron sharpening iron relationships are beautiful especially when they are inside the precious heart connection of Sisters.
As you welcome new friends into your heart, be prepared to both give and receive. You have unique gifts and experiences to offer others. Widening your friendship circle isn't just about personal growth; it's about building The Body of Christ, bringing Him the glory as we shine our Lights as a city on a hill!
Let's pray: Spirit, lead us, help us with courageous steps. Heavenly Father, give us courage to reach out beyond our comfort zones. Help us to see others as You see them, and to build friendships that reflect Your love. May our widening circles of friendship and tables we help build bring glory to Your name. Cast off all fear. Clear the seats set by You and help us partner with You to fill them, welcoming in the heart connections You have prepared for each one present. We trust You. We shine for You. We love You most. Amen.
As you expand your Christian friendships, remember Jesus' words in John 15:12, "Love each other as I have loved you." Let this be the foundation of all your friendships, old and new.
For more in the Sister Series, check out a recent one here.
If you struggle with social courage, I've got you with some practical help here.
Hugs & Love, Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
In life, we are not called to be passive recipients of friendship, but actively engaged with each other in meaningful relationships. We were created for community living. No, it doesn't mean you're out here looking for a whole herd of new friends....all the Introverts can breathe again! I know!!! I am one. We don't need a whole bunch of people in the inner circle of our hearts...but we need some, where 2 or 3 are gathered, including Jesus. So, at least one human!
I believe isolation is a trap of the enemy. We were created as parts of a whole...we need community. Within that community, there will be heart-shaped circles. There can be circles of interest and circles of trust.
Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." God invites us to explore the transformative potential of authentic Christian friendships. Imagine two swords being sharpened against each other. The process isn't always smooth or comfortable, but it's necessary for both to become more effective. We glean from rubbing up against one another, edifying the heart, mind and soul of the person in order to grow, allowing God to chisel, refine, love the other, with His love, through us as His trusted instrument. Cuz really, we are not growing to grow our own Kingdom...we are going to grow His Kingdom come!
Let's talk How To Create circles....
Wisdom and discernment are two ways we create healthy boundaries for circles to be created, and properly cared for.
Circles of interest:
Things we have in common, such a Mom Life, Work or Ministry Life, Hobbies, Community Groups, etc. These circles can be any size.
Circles of trust:
Over the years, wisdom helped me create and cultivate inner circles for trust...the deeper the trust, the closer into the deeper part of my heart they could enter in to where the space is smaller, smaller because it needs greater care, energy, vulnerability, and trust.
How many?!?
There's not an approved number of how many people can be in our closest space. I believe everyone will be different and every season will be different. Ultimately, it is the Lord who brings hearts together, so He will lead us to those Divinely led relationships in His timing, according to His perfect will for them, nd for us.
Real Christian friendships involve mutual growth. It is not selfish or self-seeking.So, how do we nurture these iron-sharpening friendships?
- Cultivate Vulnerability: Open your heart to trusted friends. Share your struggles, doubts, and victories. This vulnerability creates space for genuine connection and growth.
- Practice Active Listening: Really hear your friends. Listen not just to respond, but to understand. This deepens empathy and strengthens bonds.
- Offer Graceful Truth: When you see a friend straying from God's path, speak truth in love. It might be uncomfortable, but it's an act of genuine care.
- Encourage Spiritual Disciplines: Pray together, study Scripture together, serve together. These shared experiences deepen your friendship and your faith.
- Celebrate Growth: Rejoice in each other's spiritual victories, no matter how small. This fosters a positive environment for continued growth.
- Extend Grace: Remember, we're all works in progress. Be quick to forgive and slow to judge.
- Commit to Consistency: Deep friendships aren't built overnight. Regular, intentional time together is crucial.
Remember, the goal isn't perfection, but progress. As you sharpen each other, as His Instruments, you both become more effective tools in God's hands. It's also important to recognize that different friendships may serve different purposes in our lives. Some friends might challenge us intellectually, others emotionally or spiritually. Every person is an appointment in our life and the assignment will become clearer the more you walk together.
As you navigate these friendships, it goes without saying, keep Christ at the center. He is the One who allowed them for such a time as this. He is the ultimate example of a perfect friend – loving unconditionally, speaking truth in love, gentle, kind, hope-filled, faithful, guarding, self-controlled, wise and intentional. This is the kind of friend I want to be too. I am not perfect, no one is, but in prayer nd petition and ll the grace in the world, we are invited to create heart shaped circles in our life!
In cultivating these iron-sharpening, heart-softening friendships, we not only enrich our own lives but also strengthen the body of Christ. As we grow together, we shine God's light in the world around us s one of His Lights to lead and show The Way.
Let's pray: Lord, thank you for the gift of friendship nd ultimately, Yours. Lord, we seek Sisters to do life with. Help us to be friends who sharpen and encourage one another in faith. Guide our words and actions to reflect Your love. May we be a sweet aroma to You as we stir one another's heats in Your Name. Because of Your Sweetest of Love, Amen.
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.””
1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV
The company we keep is crucial on the path we walk in life. The apostle Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 15:33 ring true today: "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals.'" This wisdom invites us to reflect on the influences in our lives and how they shape our walk with God.Imagine your life as a garden. Each relationship you nurture is a plant in this garden.
Some relationships are like vibrant flowers, bringing beauty and joy into the view of our days. Others might be like sturdy trees, offering support and shelter. However – some can be weeds, threatening to choke out the good growth.
So how do we cultivate a garden that glorifies God? We must be intentional about the relationships we nurture, being careful of not cultivating a garden of weeds. Every plant has it's own planned purpose, producing blooms or fruits. As we grow in years, our ability to identify weeds from blossoms become more clear. We no longer tolerate the mess of weeds because we know how quickly they spread and choke out all that is good. We understand the blossom of a weed is not the same as the blossom of a flowering plant of produce.
Ask yourself:
Do my friends draw me closer to Christ or pull me away?
Do they encourage my faith or challenge it negatively?
The answer to these questions can help you discern which relationships to invest in deeply.
Remember, not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay forever. Some are seasonal, bringing specific lessons or experiences. Others are perennial, growing alongside you through various seasons of life.
Pray for discernment to recognize the role each person plays in your spiritual journey. As you evaluate your relationships, don't be discouraged if you find some that don't align with your faith goals. Instead, see it as an opportunity for growth as you establish boundaries that create health borders around your "flower beds" of relationships. Perhaps God is calling you to be a blossom in someone's life, or maybe He's prompting you to seek out new, uplifting friendships to invite into your own garden.
Cultivating godly friendships as an adult isn't always easy, but it's worth the effort. Wisdom and discernment are two foundational ways we create new connections with others. Praying, asking God to show us who He has planned for us to connect with, doing our part to be authentically ourself in order to create other authentic connections. It's so important we show up as we are in order for others to see us for who we are, not who we wish to be or used to be.
These relationships can be a source of encouragement, accountability, and spiritual growth. They can challenge you to dive deeper into God's Word, pray more fervently, and live out your faith more boldly.
As you tend to your garden of relationships, remember that Jesus is the master gardener. He knows exactly what your soul needs to flourish. Trust Him to guide you, prune what's necessary, and help new, life-giving relationships bloom.
Let's pray: Lord, grant us wisdom in our friendships. Help us cultivate relationships that draw us closer to You and reflect Your love to others. Give us Your eyes to see who You have brought into our Garden. Help us grow in our authentic blooms so we can share from a pure heart and mind, that others may see the awesomeness of You are our Creator, Healer and King. You are the Master Gardner and we trust Your pruning and planting. In Your Son's Amazing Name, Amen.
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Love is in the air, and what better way to celebrate Valentine's Day than by showing your appreciation for the amazing Sister Friends who make life sweeter? Galentine's Day is the perfect occasion to express your gratitude for those special friendships that stand the test of time. This year, I've found put together a few of my ultimate Galentine's Day Gift ideas!! Hope you love them too!!
HOT Pink Tumbler! :Grab this COOL 40oz Tumbler on Amazon for your Besties for under $40! Whether she's sipping on her morning coffee, herbal tea, or just trying to hit her daily water intake, this tumbler is the perfect companion. It keeps her ICE cold and TEA hot...AND IT FITS INTO THE TINY CUP HOLDERS!!!! (All the Jeep Sisters need this one!!)
Friendship Bracelets: Show your love with a personalized touch by gifting friendship bracelets. Choose colors that resonate with your unique bond and add initials or a meaningful charm. It's a wearable reminder of your special connection, and every glance at the bracelet will bring a smile to your friend's face.
DIY Spa Day Kit: Treat your besties to a pampering spa day at home with a thoughtfully curated DIY spa kit. Include a cute stuffed animal or towelette, luxurious face masks, bath bombs, silk eye covers, essential oils and lotions and don't forget these slippers! I have gifted these slippers and they aren't the big goofy kind. If she has cold feet, she's gonna THANK YOU!
Sweet Handwritten Card: Our world craves personal touch. Create or buy a card and fill it with your favorite shared memories or affimations.
Virtual Movie Night Package: Distance can't keep you from celebrating together. Create a virtual movie night package for your friends with a subscription to a streaming service, some cozy blankets, and a selection of their favorite snacks. Plan a time to hit play simultaneously and enjoy a movie night together, even if you're miles apart.
Cute apparel: Who doesn't love CUTE clothes that share our Love for Love Himself!?! I love these hoodies from this faith based company!
This Galentine's Day, go beyond the ordinary and surprise your friends with gifts that reflect the uniqueness of your friendships. Whether it's a stylish tumbler, a DIY spa day kit, or a virtual movie night, these ideas are sure to make your Galentine's celebration unforgettable. Love & Hugs to Sweet Sister Friends!!!
I am so thankful YOU are in MY Heart Shaped Circle!!!!!
Love you,
Michele
Psst: I am hosting a 7 Day Challenge in my Group Feb 7-14th if you would like to join us there!!! www.ButGodSisterSquad.com
And if you're looking for MORE LOVE ideas, I have a big list for ya here!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Wishing you had more friends? Feeling shy? Wishing you had more energy to have more friends? Wishing you felt like one of the cool kids too?!?
Insecurity is a thief! Shyness and insecurity robs us of joy, confidence, and the ability to have meaningful connections with others. This is especially hard when you are an Introvert, and even more so if you have dealt with anxiety. It takes real energy to put ourselves out there!
The fear of being judged, the fear of rejection and the constant comparison to others is exhausting! It leaves us paralyzed, hesitant to trust ourselves and, more importantly, hesitant to trust others. And let's get really real...when we don’t really like who we are, we assume others won’t either.
There's the bottom line of it all!! FEAR!!!
But God! We were created as a precious and important part of The Body. We need others in our life. How else will Titus 2 happen? How else will we mentor others and Go Therefore to disciple others?!? It begins with the hearts closest to you. For me, the key to making real friends and breaking free from "friendship-insecurity" was when I focused on trusting God’s heart first, to lead me to others He had prepared for me.
At the core, I think most of us who are shy or struggle with insecurity, need to look at our lack of trust—trust in ourselves, trust in others, and trust in God. When we anchor our trust in God, we build confidence and can embrace vulnerability with others. I knew I was a good friend to others...loyal and trustworthy. I just had a hard time sharing my own heart, out of fear.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Taking small, intentional steps toward vulnerability and openness feels scary but again, if we place our trust in God first, seek Him first, we can start practicing our vulnerability with Him which will help us do the same with others. The first friend you should have, after Jesus, of course, is yourself. I know that sounds weird and hard to do but it’s necessary!
I know! You don’t really like too much but that’s because you’ve listened too long to what the enemy has told you. You’re pretty cool actually and when you find your friend group, you’re gonna light up inside and feel blessed. You won’t feel the need to hide or filter your thoughts. That feels so good! Trust me!
Here are a few things to get started:
- Prayerful Reflection: Begin by seeking God. Ask for wisdom and discernment in understanding your own insecurities and how they impact your relationships.
- Scriptural Assurance: Trust God’s Word over you. Understanding that you are loved, valued, and protected. Lean into His friendship first.
- Community: Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can provide encouragement and accountability. Practice sharing your opinions and talents with a small group and allow God to expand your boundaries of friendships one person at a time.
As you begin to open up to others, here are some practical steps to develop trust with others:
- Invite God: Invite God into the relationship, whether it’s working, friends or intimate, inviting God to be part of the cord of three strands not easily broken is crucial for alignment and building trust.
- Open Communication: Share your thoughts and feelings with others, and encourage them to do the same. Transparency builds trust. Remember it should be 2 ways!
- Forgiveness: Understand none of us are perfect and misunderstandings will happen. Embrace a spirit of forgiveness, recognizing that forgiveness is a gift to yourself as much as it is to others. It allows relationships to heal and flourish.
- Celebrate Each Other's Journey: Instead of comparison, celebrate each of your unique journeys. Recognize that everyone has their own struggles and triumphs. You may be someone's answered prayer in friendship! Ever thought of that!?!
Breaking free from insecurity is a process. It's a personal development journey for sure! This all begins with trust— trusting God, trusting ourselves, and trusting others. By anchoring our relationships in the unwavering love of our Creator, we pave the way for meaningful, authentic connections.
With God as our BFF, we can overcome insecurities and experience the richness of genuine relationships.
It’s worth the time and energy to do the work necessary to open your heart! As an Introvert, you likely don’t want or need a ton of friends and that’s okay! But we do need some to do life with. Pray for those iron sharpeners whom you can trust with your heart and watch your heart overflow and wash away shyness one heart hug at a time!
I am excited to be your friend!! If you are looking for a group of other shy Sisters, meet us over in the ButGodSisterSquad.com
Big Heart Hugs,
Your New Friend,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
