Wishing you had more friends? Feeling shy? Wishing you had more energy to have more friends? Wishing you felt like one of the cool kids too?!?
Insecurity is a thief! Shyness and insecurity robs us of joy, confidence, and the ability to have meaningful connections with others. This is especially hard when you are an Introvert, and even more so if you have dealt with anxiety. It takes real energy to put ourselves out there!
The fear of being judged, the fear of rejection and the constant comparison to others is exhausting! It leaves us paralyzed, hesitant to trust ourselves and, more importantly, hesitant to trust others. And let's get really real...when we don’t really like who we are, we assume others won’t either.
There's the bottom line of it all!! FEAR!!!
But God! We were created as a precious and important part of The Body. We need others in our life. How else will Titus 2 happen? How else will we mentor others and Go Therefore to disciple others?!? It begins with the hearts closest to you. For me, the key to making real friends and breaking free from "friendship-insecurity" was when I focused on trusting God’s heart first, to lead me to others He had prepared for me.
At the core, I think most of us who are shy or struggle with insecurity, need to look at our lack of trust—trust in ourselves, trust in others, and trust in God. When we anchor our trust in God, we build confidence and can embrace vulnerability with others. I knew I was a good friend to others...loyal and trustworthy. I just had a hard time sharing my own heart, out of fear.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Taking small, intentional steps toward vulnerability and openness feels scary but again, if we place our trust in God first, seek Him first, we can start practicing our vulnerability with Him which will help us do the same with others. The first friend you should have, after Jesus, of course, is yourself. I know that sounds weird and hard to do but it’s necessary!
I know! You don’t really like too much but that’s because you’ve listened too long to what the enemy has told you. You’re pretty cool actually and when you find your friend group, you’re gonna light up inside and feel blessed. You won’t feel the need to hide or filter your thoughts. That feels so good! Trust me!
Here are a few things to get started:
- Prayerful Reflection: Begin by seeking God. Ask for wisdom and discernment in understanding your own insecurities and how they impact your relationships.
- Scriptural Assurance: Trust God’s Word over you. Understanding that you are loved, valued, and protected. Lean into His friendship first.
- Community: Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can provide encouragement and accountability. Practice sharing your opinions and talents with a small group and allow God to expand your boundaries of friendships one person at a time.
As you begin to open up to others, here are some practical steps to develop trust with others:
- Invite God: Invite God into the relationship, whether it’s working, friends or intimate, inviting God to be part of the cord of three strands not easily broken is crucial for alignment and building trust.
- Open Communication: Share your thoughts and feelings with others, and encourage them to do the same. Transparency builds trust. Remember it should be 2 ways!
- Forgiveness: Understand none of us are perfect and misunderstandings will happen. Embrace a spirit of forgiveness, recognizing that forgiveness is a gift to yourself as much as it is to others. It allows relationships to heal and flourish.
- Celebrate Each Other's Journey: Instead of comparison, celebrate each of your unique journeys. Recognize that everyone has their own struggles and triumphs. You may be someone's answered prayer in friendship! Ever thought of that!?!
Breaking free from insecurity is a process. It's a personal development journey for sure! This all begins with trust— trusting God, trusting ourselves, and trusting others. By anchoring our relationships in the unwavering love of our Creator, we pave the way for meaningful, authentic connections.
With God as our BFF, we can overcome insecurities and experience the richness of genuine relationships.
It’s worth the time and energy to do the work necessary to open your heart! As an Introvert, you likely don’t want or need a ton of friends and that’s okay! But we do need some to do life with. Pray for those iron sharpeners whom you can trust with your heart and watch your heart overflow and wash away shyness one heart hug at a time!
I am excited to be your friend!! If you are looking for a group of other shy Sisters, meet us over in the ButGodSisterSquad.com
Big Heart Hugs,
Your New Friend,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Remember how FUN starting college was but also so overwhelming to navigate! Our teens are faced with even greater social pressures with the added element of social media access. This generation experiences a social pressure and presence we did not have.
Even if you think they don't listen to you, deep in your heart, know they are. While we have been training them up for these past 18 years, it's still important to send them off with reminders to help them prioritize the well-being of their minds even if they think they already know it all. Behind the eye rolls, you know are coming, they do appreciate these highlights as they walk into the new open doors....and so do YOU!
Our thoughts impact how we view our current reality, influencing how we perceive and interact with the world around us, including our college-bound teen. Along with prayer, incorporating a few simple practices can make a world of difference for them AND for YOU.
These are some simple truths my teen and I discussed as WE prepared for move out day and life in college. I pray they are encouragements for you too. It's amazing how easily we can slip away from common sense in times of stress and transition, even when it's all happy things!
First, start by being mindful of the content you consume.
Limit exposure to negative news and surround yourself with positive influences. As a believer, staying grounded in The Word is so important and seeking Him first in the day, and in every situation. If you need to set up parent controls on your devices, even as an adult, do it! It's up to YOU to protect YOU from YOU! Also, if you are looking for a Daily Reading Plan, there are tons in the You Version app, and they are all free!!
Second, pay attention to the people you surround yourself with.
Our friends can take us from one mood to another with just a text, or a look. They can lead us to Christ, or away from Him. Our teens may not have experienced unequally yoked friendships yet so this is a good time to share with them the value of like-minded friends and how powerfully they can help us stay steadfast and grounded in the Ways of Christ in every season of life, especially big life transitions.
Praying for the circle of influence around them, and also around us, their teachers and our own mentors, our friends and their friends helps us keep God in the midst of our relationships. Then, we can trust those open and closed doors when they come and walk through this new season without feeling overwhelmed or alone...or tempted towards worldly pleasures.
Next, taking our "vitamins!"
It is super important in order to think clearly and have a healthy brain for processing but one of the most forgotten Vitamins is G : Gratitude. Practice gratitude daily. Taking time to acknowledge the good things in life helps rewire our brains for optimism and hope-filled living. College is hard for EVERYONE and it will be important to take those prayerful deep breaths, in order to think clearly before making quick decisions! Some things take time to get adjusted to and remember, you can do all things with Him!!
Community Connections and Connecting to Self:
Engaging in hobby or ministry activities that promote movement and positivity like prayer, dancing, exercise, worship, meditation, outdoor experiences, volunteering and serving others, endless fun hobbies, or journaling, can aid in centering our thoughts and reducing stress. creating playlists in Spotify or other music apps is fun to be able to share with others too!
We cannot forget Mindfulness.
Guard your heart and mind and renew them daily. Prayer alongside essential oils, good supplements, good friends, a healthy mindset, God's Word & Worship provide healthy, natural support for physical and emotional relaxation that lends us into peace and joy and mental clarity nd spiritual strength that brings us closer to the Lord's purposesnd provisions, to bring Him glory along the path He has set before us each.
It IS a big deal. It IS going to take intentionality. It IS an adjustment. There will be misunderstandings, tears and awkward conversations in the process...but when we lay the foundation of Love, Trust, Joy, Hope and lean in to the new season with openness and honesty, and again, LOVE...it will be full of growth for both you and your teen.
Seek Him FIRST!!!! Pray fervently! Do not fear! Do not be afraid! You trained them up to go!!!!
It's time Mama.....
Stay close to the Lord, surround yourself with fish-filled friends and be grateful for the blessing to have raised them to go! You did it!!! You're doing it!!!! You're not alone!!!!! He is near. Lean in. He's got you BOTH!!!!!
Blessings and Heart Hugs,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
The month of Love. For some, it's a blissful month of chocolates, cuddles, oodling, dating, intimate moments, extravagance and flowers while others feel heartache, loss, jealousy and loneliness.
We were created with a need for True Love. We spend our days searching to fill that space, trying so many different things, and will until you find Love Who Fills.
The media is so good at showing us ways to fill this need. Eventhough Love Himself fills and holds my whole heart, blessing me with a Man to share life and love with for over 30 Valentines, I catch myself oodling at the beautiful diamonds and romantic getaways on all the commercials.
In my every day life, I am simple. I enjoy a coffee on the couch in pjs, simple gifts, simple meals, simple outings, a simple way of life. I am not a glam girl. Do I love pretty things? Beautiful clothes? Nails and hair done? Nice food out? Luxurious spas? Sure! But I don't need them or chase them.
A few years ago, I decided to start hosting a Sweet Love night at my home. I was so nervous because I hadn't ever hosted a party for friends before, an Introvert, yes, but also...fear of rejection. There it is. What if no one came? What if I was boring? What if they thought it was stupid?
But God! I dumped the lies and pursued True Love and did it anyway. I invited a group of women from my church over, in the Name of Love. In the room were woman who had recently lost their spouses, who were struggling to feel loved in their marriages, some who were too exhausted to experience love - Sisterly or Intimately.
These were soul satisfying nights of introducing these Sisters in Christ to each other, sharing stories of hope and love, and for those who don't know me yet or been to one of my events...yes, we enjoyed some serious coffee & chocolates!
As much as we need to embrace Love, some of us need to break up with false idols who keep us from receiving and giving love.
Today, what do you need to dump in order to have True Love?
Insecurity?
Fear?
Anxiety?
Control?
Addiction?
Perfectionism?
Feelings of lack, envy, hate, jealousy, greed, addictions, pride, immorality?
Lust?
Now that you have broken up, let's pray for Love's return and filling. Ask for blessings of Grace and deep soul satisfying wholeness. Open your heart to receive again.
Whatever barriers have been placed around your heart, will you allow Jesus to be the new Gate Keeper? Will you trust, let go of control and surrender to Love?
May it be so.
I pray this month brings you such deep joy as you remember the Love The Creator, Your Father, the Great I Am has for you. His Love is unconditional and of the purest kind that no human on this earth, no matter how wonderful they are, can match.
He is the Ultimate Lover of Your Soul.
You can trust Him.
He's got you in His heart.
Will you allow Him in yours?
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Do we really need friends?!? I didn’t used to think so. Jesus was enough of a BFF for me, so I thought. Then I wondered why I felt unseen and unbelonging.
As an Introvert, we keep a little more tucked in than those extroverted souls in our life, making the establishment of friendships like finding a needle in a haystack. Sure, we can make Virtual Friends who feel real world to us, and it’s so fun, but there's something different and special about physically close, in person, feel your energy, pray together connections.
Friendships take a lot of trust and energy and if I was honest, I just didn’t have either one to give.
Once I opened my heart to trusting God’s plan of community living, understanding the importance of iron sharpening iron, Titus 2 relationships, I began to pray for like-minded, spiritually bound, authentic relationships. These are thrilling but still scary prayers when you invite someone into the sacred space of your heart. You fear judgment, betrayal and rejection which is why not having friends seems safer.
This is the twisted truth the enemy would like you to believe.
Truth is, we were built for community and instructed to serve as one part to the many. Will everyone enter the chambers of your inner heart circle? No. You filter through prayer asking God to show you who is meant to be there for such a time as this.
Friends are important because they are the few who reach into the daily grind of life and spotlight the things in our world, calling us out in the good, and sometimes not so good. Without them, where does our heart release it’s joys and sorrows? How are we sharpened if there is no other iron?
Friends help us navigate seasons of life. A Good Friend will armor up to fight alongside you. They will sit with us beside still waters and remind us to be still and know God is near when our world feels chaotic. They share in our victories and help us laugh when we just want to cry.
Near hearted friends touch us with love and pray for us in the knowing and seeing. Genuine Sister Friends sharpen our dull edges and buff out the rough ones.
Let’s be real here too. It is work, and hurt happens. The enemy will always come against covenant connections. Keeping Christ at the center and simply being aware and honest about it guards, restores and continually binds the cord of 3 strands, not easily broken.
Good Friends are gifts from God and this requires your choosing to get out into the real world so your heart can connect with real love. Let not your heart be troubled my Introvert Sister. Let your walls down to the ones God brings into your life. You will recognize her by her boots and shovels ready to dig in, coffee and soft blankets for quiet moments, as she walks in through doors prayer opened with her love in her hand and His Love in her heart.
May this new year bring you the blessing of community and good friends! Pray for the energy and trust to not be scared or shy. It’s essential you do!
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11,19
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
It's Mother's Day Month. I imagine the collective sigh, the deep breath, the joy, the exhaustion. Mom Life is beautifully hard.
