Where are my shy-ish Introverts at? I don't know about you but until recent years, it wasn't that I didn't want to have more new friends....I just didn't have the energy or strength to develop the friendships, so I thought. If you've experienced chronic fatigue or ailments, you know what I mean.
And since I am committed to always being transparent, deep inside there was a part of me that was also afraid to put myself out there and risk rejection. So I rejected myself on their behalf and avoided the pain of the potential, hypothetical rejection of connection. Instead, I stayed in the back, busy being....blocking all with a shy smile on my face.
The Lord knows the desires of our hearts and meets us where we are, giving us who and what we need for each season.
There are seasons He needs us to focus on friendship with Him above all else, learning to trust, learning who we are in Him, learning what we control and what we can't, learning the giving and receiving....so much...
I have been in seasons He was like, "Hey, here's a friend for ya!" and I wasn't even looking!! He's so gracious knowing what (and who) we need in our lives. When we trust Him, we learn how to let my heart open more quickly to the invitation to connect with a new heart. Not to say that they have full access, time reveals that part or permissions, but instead of avoiding them, we have opportunity to embrace them.
It has been so much fun finally coming back out of what has felt like hibernation...I have prayed and asked the Lord to enlarge my circle of trust for mutually connected heart sisters.
If you've ever had one-way friendships, you understand the mutually connected part....I have had both. One way, in that they didn't reciprocate the same way I was giving for whatever reason. Relationships have varying purposes and seasons. Sometimes we just grow apart or absent-minded and unintentional with our energy and focus.
Mutually connected for me means we have the same desire to serve and bless the other. It's reciprocal. These are much more rare to find the older we get. I am so thankful for the few the Lord has blessed me with. We show up in like-heartedness. No expectations, just desire to be in each other's lives and sharing life together whatever that looks like at any given season of time. Whether it is a few times a year getting together or a weekly coffee date, tis the season.
Some relationships are built or maintained online only. Some are from years past, an old friend. Some are in the the every day mix of things, doing life together, while others are random life pop ins and spontaneous moments together.
There's no right or wrong way to "friend." As we each play a part in the Body, so do we each
in the Heart of one another.
So as I look at the crowded tables, or the tables I don't feel like I am qualified to sit at, I pray and ask God to lead me to the table God has saved a seat for me. We can trust Him in this space, taking our eyes off of ourself, shifting away from fears, and focus on what He has in store.
Then, God gives us the invitation to ask Him for help filling the other seats at the table, unafraid and with eager anticipation for the heart coming to sit beside us. Maybe they will be a mutually connected sister-friend. Maybe they are a one way Divine appointment to love on for such a time as this alone, or perhaps we are their Divine appointment to receive love from.
For those of us who serve others through Hospitality and Encouragement, it's easy to get caught up thinking we are there to give, which is great, but one of the lessons I have had to learn, is God also places us at tables from which we are to receive, for such a time as this.
Are you ready in heart to look beyond your familiar circles and welcome new hearts to your "friendship table?"
Here are some ways to look for new Christian friendships:
- Be Intentional: Pray, asking God to prepare your heart and help you see the ones He has gifted to you in a season. You never know where these friendships will come from. But God does!
- Get Involved: Seek opportunities to surround yourself with other women who have common interests as you, seek friendships from different backgrounds, ages, or life stages. These relationships can broaden your perspective and deepen your faith whether they become part of your very inner circle or otherwise. I recently experienced this and I cherish my new friends so much.
- Practice Hospitality: Open your heart and if possible, your home. Set up a meet up online or off. Sharing a coffee or attending an event together is a powerful way to make new connections but as an Introvert especially if you lean towards shyness, don't wait around for the invite! BE the invite...even if it's on Zoom! I know it takes more from you if you're an Introvert or kinda on the shy side, but I promise you, the blessing is so good when you push past the nerve blocks.
- Join or Start a Small Group: This provides a structured environment to meet new people and grow together in faith around a topic you are both interested in whether it be online or offline and you don't have to lead it, just join it, until you're ready to create one.
- Volunteer: Serving alongside others often opens doors to meaningful friendships united by a common purpose.
- Be Patient: New friendships take time to develop. Don't rush the process or have set expectations of what the connection will be; allow trust and connection to grow into what God has planned.
- Pray for those Mutual Connections: Ask God to bring people into your life who will mutually encourage and stir up your faith as you give the same.
Remember, expanding your friendship circle and building a bigger table isn't always easy. It might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, especially for you shy Introverts. You might encounter differences in opinions or experiences. It's a great way to learn from others as we step outside of our own bubbles.
While I look to connect with people who have the same season as me, I also look for others who know more than me and have different experiences and gifting, expanding my little world, often sharpening me in places I find I am weaker.
Iron sharpening iron relationships are beautiful especially when they are inside the precious heart connection of Sisters.
As you welcome new friends into your heart, be prepared to both give and receive. You have unique gifts and experiences to offer others. Widening your friendship circle isn't just about personal growth; it's about building The Body of Christ, bringing Him the glory as we shine our Lights as a city on a hill!
Let's pray: Spirit, lead us, help us with courageous steps. Heavenly Father, give us courage to reach out beyond our comfort zones. Help us to see others as You see them, and to build friendships that reflect Your love. May our widening circles of friendship and tables we help build bring glory to Your name. Cast off all fear. Clear the seats set by You and help us partner with You to fill them, welcoming in the heart connections You have prepared for each one present. We trust You. We shine for You. We love You most. Amen.
As you expand your Christian friendships, remember Jesus' words in John 15:12, "Love each other as I have loved you." Let this be the foundation of all your friendships, old and new.
For more in the Sister Series, check out a recent one here.
If you struggle with social courage, I've got you with some practical help here.
Hugs & Love, Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
