Me? An Introvert?!? SHY?!? Insecure?!? Anxious?!? Exhausted!?! Perfectionist!?! Well, yes indeed. I was! Well, I am STILL and Introvert, lol. I love people but I need my space too, especially after Peopling for a while.
When I tell people I am shy by nature, they don't believe me. When I tell them I struggled with insecurity, they don't believe that either, or that I was anxious or could ever have had panic attacks. Welp, it's all true. Healing is a powerful and transforming thing! Do I still have moments, sure...but it's not who I am anymore.
Thing is, people know us by what we show them. What I showed was what I wished I was....
I lived most of my life smiling and hugging. I genuinely love people and always see the good, but at the same time, I was always looking over my shoulder for the "bad guy." The older I got, the more attention I got from men whistling as I walked by or staring. These weren't compliments to me, these were the triggers of attention I didn't want.
When I was younger, I had severe cystic acne and would miss school because of it. When I was younger, I had bladder infections (UTI) and had to lay out on a table for examinations and Cath samples. When I was younger, I also got my finger caught in a door frame and I feared anyone ever holding my hand and noticing it. When I was younger, I witnessed horrible school yard fights and always felt vulnerable. When I was younger...I carried all this till I was older.
I learned how to build a wall to protect myself very early on. I learned how to keep my mouth closed and eyes down and not invite attention or draw attention to myself. This was how I learned to create my own little world of peace behind the wall fear and insecurity had built to protect me.
I lived inside this wall for years and years....like years! God gave me some wonderful friends and mentors, big sisters in the faith, to draw me out from behind that wall so He could do some breaking down of the wall fear had built. When God started to take down the wall, I didn't appreciate it! I felt so vulnerable. It was during this season God showed me His heart and asked me to trust His, to trust HE would be a Shield about me when the enemy threw his fiery darts and pushed in on thorns he could still see. It was NOT easy but it was beautiful.
I lived for so long being what I needed to be, I really didn't know me. It's been a journey of learning who I am and trusting God with my heart. Surrender is hard because it's not apathy, giving up or not caring. It's intentionality. It's humbling. It's trusting what you cannot see which why it takes trust and faith. This is why knowing Your Savior, The Great I Am, is so important. You cannot trust who you don't know. The more you know Him, the more you can trust Him and the more you trust Him, the easier the surrender.
Think about a child in the arms of a stranger vs parent....who can console her when she's scared or hurt? Who does she want to run to to show her favorite new toy or hold hands with to take a walk or go play with? The person who sees our heart, who knows us, who shows us loving care, is where we feel safe to be.
Today, I still have shyness, it's who I am by nature and I do get anxious nervous when my comfort zone issuing expanded and a new level is presented to step into, when it's a new person, place or things in my life but here's the thing...they aren't coming from fear. Fear is liar and his chains have been removed! BUT GOD! He has guarded my heart and mind for a long time now and my surrender and trust run deep. I rely on His leading, His wisdom, His way. So where He leads, I follow. My heart still races on some days, and the butterflies swarm in my chest...not gonna lie!
From hiding to highlighting, I choose to share authentically so others can be set free from fear too and live a life of freedom by faith! We cannot allow fear to keep our eyes down and hide us behind a wall. We were meant to SHINE our Lights and gather together as a city on a hill that others may come and see what The Lord has done, and is doing.
I thought I had to be an extrovert. I thought I had to have titles. I thought I had to be invited/recognized/approved. I thought I had to be perfect. I thought I had to settle for the back row. Come to find out, there's a whole ministry back here and I am here for it! In fact, I am creating it, just as I am as I sit here with my Father and Sweet Savior!
YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made, hemmed in, knitted together, raised up where you are for a purpose given to you, for such a time as this. You don't need validation to be brave and bold in God's Love. With Him, you have all you need for courage, freedom, peace and joy! Do you trust Him? Will you let Him lead you? Will you be courageously YOU and SHINE?!
Let's Do This Sisters! A cord of 3 is not easily broken. He has lifters for you. Ask, Seek and pray for Him to show you who they are. There's a flock, a tribe, of sisters waiting to rally with you! I am one of them!
I invite you to join my online Sister Community! I have asked God to take the reigns over there, so changes are coming and I am so excited for new doors to open!! Eyes, hands and heart OPEN! See ya there, or in here, either way, may the Lord meet you where you are and may you embrace His Heart for you too!!! He's Got You covered.
Big Hugs,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
In this blog post, the author reflects on the difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. They share their personal experience of being an avoider and how it affected their ability to handle conflict and confrontations. The author encourages shy and insecure individuals to find their voice and speak their truth, emphasizing that true peace is found in Jesus and His love. They highlight the importance of extending peace to others and embracing peace in our own lives. The author concludes by urging readers to stand firm, be courageous, and speak truth in love, quoting James 3:13, 17-18.
Read more...
I just didn’t know I could change. I thought I was just me. When it’s all you know, it’s simply all you know. This is why speaking life is so important along with Sisterhood, Mentorships, personal development and community.
Born into the Cradle Roll at our church by a military Dad and Friend-to-Everyone Mom, “going above and beyond and doing the right thing" was basically my DNA. You add in my shy, insecure personality and there ya have your official Shy Girl, Holy Rolly, Goodie Two Shoes, always trying to be perfect and pure, not causing any issues, church girl.
I accepted my Less-Than-Ness, fueled in the comparison game of observing the brilliance and beauty of everyone else seemingly living the perfect life. While my mindset was completely wrong, my heart was pure, desiring to be better and live "right" before God, family and others. It would be many, many years later I learned to live a life of Grace and honor rather than perfection and perception.
You don’t have to go very far online or out in the world to discover the next newest thing you don’t have and why you (apparently) need it now!
You can't help but wonder if it could be true. Those of us who struggle with insecurity are the perfect customer for these commercials. We are willing to try any and every thing out there in the quest for becoming better.
After years of self-doubt and constant fear of judgement, I collapsed under the pressure falling prostrate into a pit. Thankfully God knew I was heading that way, and He had already lined it with grace.
Grace softened my fall. It bruised me, and scared me, but it didn't kill me.
Grace caught me.
Grace said Just be you. Grace said Life is short. Grace said Worship, not worry. Grace said Fear not! Grace said I am capable and you are in My hands. Grace said Follow Me, not them. Grace said My grace is sufficient enough for you! Grace said It’s Time! Get up and go!
This is one of the things in my life I wish I would have learned sooner. I wish I would have understood Grace and more important God’s love for me. I wish I would have learned about His heart sooner rather than in my 30’s. I am forever grateful for the season in the pit, as painful as it was, I was refined and chiseled as I tumbled about.
Friend, know God loves you so much and He is near. Be courageous and confident in His Love and live in this Gift of Grace. Take time to be still and know, asking and seeking His heart for you.
By grace, you are saved and held. By grace, you are brave. By grace, you are whole! Yo are fearfully and wonderfully made with a Divine purpose meant only for YOU!! You are YOU for this very reason! He has equipped you for such a time as this!! Rise up and Go in Grace!
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Growing up, my physical appearance crippled me. I thought my legs were wonky, my nose was too big for my face, and my ears were too similar to Dumbo's. Everyone else was beautiful and I felt ugly. There was a point in my life I had braces and severe cystic acne. My skincare routine was as long as applying make up beginning in 5th Grade through....college.
I wish my healing journey of acceptance wasn't as long as it was but this is why I am here...to hopefully inspire others to work out these insecurities and fears now because the life God has created is abundant and beautiful.
Read more...
