Have you faced a moment in your life where you feel like tossing in the towel? Something goes "weird" and you assume it's your fault or not meant to be, or you shut down instantly? Yah, I get that!
I came to realize this about me through a season of personal development and want to share with you a little more about it!
If you're someone who has struggled with anxiety or insecurity, I am betting that you are quick to point the fingers at yourself when things don't go as planned. I bet you also you think it must be a closed door forever more when something goes sideways, be it something as small as a recipe, a plan, to a relationship or calling.
This past weekend was what triggered this lesson for me.
While I have flown a LOT in the past several years, I didn't used to and when I did, I was soooo anxious. I would start packing many days before and preparing the house, just so much nervous energy. I would find myself thinking about the flight months before. So much wasted energy, I know. That's what anxiety looks like.
Anyhoo, this past month I have actually flown to North Carolina, Utah (by myself) and here I was headed to Virginia. We boarded the flight and pushed back from the gate on time but were grounded due to storms not of us. We waited an hour before they released us but I was still okay. I will admit, that feeling of being trapped was a little unnerving however, no triggers there, praise God! I had pulled out my laptop and started writing in my book since I found this extra time to write.
I don't know why they sent us on the same path as the storm, but they did, and we felt it. I had no idea planes could wiggle like that. People were screaming/gasping and that was triggering for sure! I could hear a lady around me uttered out "This is scary!" and her row buddy said. " It's gonna be okay." She had the most calm tone. I ws meant to hear her too.
With a deep breath and tears welled up in my eyes, I closed up my laptop and turned up the volume on my worship playlist and sat with Jesus in this literal storm. It was scary. I wasn't 100% sure if I should be documenting as a possible evidence what went wrong video, but I chose to worship.
If that had been my only flight, I would have assumed every flight was like this. But because I have history in many many miles of flying, I know that is not true. This was a very rare occurrence.
But how often do we do that?! We run with the lies that feel like final says, when actually, they are temporary sufferings, trails of many kinds, there to do the strengthening work in our faith muscles. I am thankful for wisdom and resilience when things don't turn out like I thought they would. Sometimes, yes, they are closed doors. Sometimes I have made the mistake and that is mine to own. But there are refining seasons "life happens" and we are not in control. What we can control however , is our response.
I look forward to talking it out . Let's talk but emotional intelligence, trust, resilience and our faith. Meet me over here!
Biggest Takeaways:
- Worship in your worry
- Trust God is Who He says He is
- Maturity comes through resilient faith!!
Blessings & Grace!!!
Michele
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Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
