Life can feel hard! Yesterday was hard...today will be hard, and most likely so will many tomorrows. To be fair, God did tell us there would be trials of many kinds. Isn't it good to know we have hope for a greater tomorrow and a peace that can be ours today?
I know some days, (especially these days, it may not feel that way, but because of the Lord's great love for us, we do. But how do we live and love when life is hard and we feel unloved, unmotivated and unnecessary? Ever feel like a mere robot? As if you are functioning through your days on a program?
I have.
Day by day doing just enough to get by, following the unspoken rules, trying to meet other's expectations, getting done what must, skipping meals (or eating all the cookies) then do it all again day after day.
No real passion, no hope for change, no real connection.
My soul was numb. My soul was downcast, oh my soul.
Did it mean I had lost love for my God, others, coffee or chocolate? No. I just felt numb, and sometimes, invisible, as a woman amongst so many other amazing women.
Am I the only one? You neither love your life or hate it, you neither feel loved or loving. You are pretty sure you were meant for something more, but what? To clean more toilets, be the hero stain remover? To be the object of everyone's needs without concern for your own? To keep it all together even though everything was broken around you?!
Life was monotonous and I was numb. I lived in Groundhog Day, every day!
This wasn't how I wanted to live. Who grows up as a little girl thinking one day I hope to feel robotic and numb?! I wanted to feel precious, valued, seen, heard, achieving and possible again. Anxiety, perfectionism, unrealistic expectations, insecurity, over-commitment, fear of judgment had slowly robbed me of joy and hope. I missed innocent, trusting faith when steps were quicker, paths straighter, clinched jaws and fists relaxed, betrayal was quickly forgiven, the anxious mind was calmed, a place where all anticipation conquered all exhaustion.
Where was my hope? Where was my anticipation...
It's amazing how numb we become when we don't feel valued or seen. We also might be dealing with fear and insecurity. I believe God created us to live a life of Anticipating Love. We were created for Life. The Bible says to rejoice in our sufferings, for out of our sufferings are produced character and hope, and hope doesn't put us to shame. (Romans 5:1-5) I felt shame for feeling hopeless because I felt I had lost me, and a Proverbs 31 Woman of Faith shouldn't feel lost right?! When our heart becomes numb, we cannot rejoice, for we have no hope for healing or restoration. Anticipation is lost. To love is to live, to live is to love. Love hopes. Hope restores our soul. Joy becomes strength which activates faith. I wanted to be renewed in Christ once again to a greater faith and a mind set on Him, but how? How do we start to feel again?
If you have walked with the Lord long enough, you know He loves you enough not let you sit hopeless in the pit you either fell into or crawled into. You are His Child and He made you for a divine purpose and plan. All His touch and thought to creating you, He is not about to let you just sit there and drift off into nothingness. I believe there are warning flags, you know, those hind-sight moments you know He is flagging you down, telling you Caution! If you don't heed that flag, He will step in at times and make sure you do.
These warning flags will look different for each of us, for every warning. When you feel numb, it's hard to recognize the warnings in the moment but God is patient and persistent. He is beyond time so He knows what it will take. It come through circumstances, other people, and in your relationship with Him. So how do we anticipate love again? How do we regain hope and purpose and feeling again?
If you find yourself feeling numb or looking at the walls of muddy pit, here are some of the things I have done to give you some ideas but I definitely encourage you to confide in a friend or church leader.
- Take a break every day to worship and do something for you. You spend all day serving others, don't forget to serve YOU! It can be as simple as taking a bath, read a new book for 30 min, call an old friend and set up a coffee date, eat your favorite snack, definitely diffuse your favorite oils, etc.
- Bless someone without it being part of your ministry/responsibility.
- Read The Word daily with anticipation to fall in love with Him deeper. Look for His heart in the Word.
- Worship more and worship different. Change up your prayer positions, change up your music artists. Ask your device to play Top Christian and Gospel. Learn some new songs and open your walls.
- Speak against the lies of the enemy by speaking truth. Speak the Word, Write the Word, Memorize The Word.
- Get back in touch with your hobbies and interests. You may not be able to actually reengage with it because of life, but find ways you can escape to it to some degree. Maybe read articles, join some Facebook Groups, follow like minded people in social media. Get involved where you can.
- Focus on body-mind-spirit. Strengthen your weaknesses in these areas. Only you know where they are and odds are He is showing you these numb places so He can breathe life back into them.
- Get accountability. You're not stuck, unless you chose to be.
Friend, It's time to ANTICIPATE LOVE. Understand better Who's you are. Start, Live and End every single day with eager anticipation. Live in gratitude. Worship with your body, in your mind and in your spirit. When you realize how loved you truly are, how seen and heard you are, how cherished and purposed you are...His breath will become yours and you will no longer feel numb. Your life will become life for someone else. We do not struggle just for our own good. He helps us create a testimony for others that He may breath life into them.
Life is going to be hard, but God loves you through it and He will be your Rest & Refuge! He will sustain you. You are not alone. This Daily Bread, Living Water and Great Counselor, our Great I Am will energize your soul.
Today, let's ANTICIPATE LOVE together and make this world a better place for generations to come. To the Glory of God, amen amen.
"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Colossians 3:14-17
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
