Staying Connected: Tips for Maintaining a Strong Parent-Child Relationship
Sending your child off to college is a major life transition for both parents and students. While it’s an exciting time filled with new opportunities and experiences, it can also bring feelings of separation and anxiety. Maintaining a strong parent-child relationship during this period is crucial for emotional support and mutual understanding.
Here are some practical tips to help you stay connected literally and emotionally with your college student....
Establish Clear Communication
1. Set Expectations Early: Before your child leaves for college, have an open discussion about how often and through which means you will communicate. Some students might prefer daily check-ins, while others may be comfortable with weekly updates. No child is the same so don't compare to one of the siblings, what the routine ws in high school, or what other parents are doing. This is between YOU & YOUR TEEN.
2. Use Multiple Platforms: Be open to the use of various communication tools such as texting, calling, video chats, and social media. Each platform offers different advantages, from quick updates to more in-depth conversations. Tech is always changing and our teens are on the cutting edge of it all....you may be learning new things every semester!
3. Respect Their Schedule: Be mindful of your child's class schedule, study times, and social activities. Give them space and grace to get back to you. Avoid calling or texting during known busy periods to prevent disruptions. Be sure to also let them know yours so they know when it's best to catch up!
Create a Routine
4. Schedule Regular Check-ins: Establish a routine for regular check-ins, whether it’s a weekly phone call, a Sunday night video chat, or a daily text message. In the beginning, consistency helps in maintaining a steady connection if they are needing that with you. Don't be alarmed if they say once a week or less...but be honest if you are needing assurance in the beginning months to just hear from them and know they are okay.
5. Share Family Updates: Keep your child informed about family news and events. This helps them feel included and connected to home even when they are far away. We created a Family Chat and Shared Album through our iPhones to stay connected with all 4 kids. Now we have a family snap chat....not my favorite but it's where they are, so I am too!
Offer Support and Encouragement
6. Be a Good Listener: When your child shares their experiences, listen fully without immediately offering solutions or judgments. Sometimes they just need to vent or talk things through. They will stop communicating if they feel a lecture or a big conversation is going to happen every time.
7. Provide Emotional Support: College is stressful. Offer words of encouragement, and remind your child that it's okay to ask for help, whether from you, friends, or campus resources. Occasionally text Scriptures throughout the week without asking any questions. Offer to pray with them on the phone.
8. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate their successes, no matter how small. Whether it’s a good grade, joining a club, or making new friends, positive reinforcement goes a long way.
Encourage Independence
9. Encourage Problem-Solving: Support your child in developing their problem-solving skills by encouraging them to find solutions independently. Do your best to facilitate the questions that lead them to the right place. This fosters confidence and self-reliance. Plus, as it goes with college, they have access to Advisors and Teachers who are there to support the students when it comes to classroom, schedule and campus questions.
10. Respect Their Independence: Give your child the space to grow and make their own decisions. Trust that they are capable of managing their new responsibilities. You may not always understand them or agree, but showing your support with your valued opinions and praying with them, and for them, is valuable.
Stay Involved
11. Visit When Possible: If able, help them with hometown visits as you also plan occasional visits to their college. Attend family weekends, sports events, or other activities where parents are welcome. Just make sure these visits are welcome and don’t intrude on their new life.
12. Send Care Packages: Everyone loves a surprise! Sending a care package with their favorite snacks, a handwritten note, or small essentials can brighten their day and show that you’re thinking of them. As long as you have their address, most dorms allow deliveries from Vendors and Amazon.
Make Time for Personal Interaction
13. Plan Family Events: Coordinate family events during breaks or long weekends. Whether it’s a short trip, a holiday gathering, or just a weekend at home, these moments are invaluable for reconnecting, even if it's a Zoom Party.
14. Engage in Shared Interests: Find common interests that you can share from a distance. Watch the same TV shows, read the same books, or follow the same sports teams. These shared experiences can be great conversation starters, ice breakers and connection places as you both establish new routines and hobbies.
Embrace Technology
15. Use Apps to Stay Connected: There are many apps designed to help families stay in touch. From group chats to shared calendars, find what works best for you and your child.
16. Virtual Activities: Engage in virtual activities together, such as online games, virtual movie nights, or even video call dinners. These activities can create a sense of togetherness despite the physical distance.
Be Patient and Understanding
17. Accept Changes: College is a transformative time. Your child will grow and change, and so will your relationship. Be open to this evolution and adapt your communication style as needed, helping them stay focused on Matthew 6:33, seeking God first always!
18. Give Them Time: There will be periods when your child might be too busy or stressed to communicate frequently. Be patient and understanding during these times, knowing that your support is always there when they need it.
Just as with any relationship, respect and boundaries go a long way! Maintaining a strong parent-child relationship during the college years takes effort, but it’s crucial to remain calm through it all. By staying connected, offering support, and respecting their independence, you can ensure that your bond remains strong and continues to grow even as they (and you!) embark on this new chapter in life.
*If you are reading this and your kiddo is still in high school, implementing some of these healthy habits and processes is beneficial for both you and them. 18 years of living in the same space, hearing each other's voice every day and helping one another creates a void when they move out, which is why this is such a bittersweet time for everyone in the family. Younger siblings will grieve in their own way too, so be mindful of them throughout this life transition.
I pray this is full of helpful resources for you.
Blessings Mama,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Our Must-Have Dorm Essentials: What to Pack and What to Leave Behind
Sending your child off to college is a big milestone, and one of the most daunting tasks can be figuring out what they need to bring with them. The goal is to pack efficiently and effectively, ensuring they have everything they need without overpacking. In this blog, I am sharing my must-have dorm essentials, from bedding and kitchen supplies to tech gadgets and study essentials, as well as items that are better left at home. Hope it helps you too as you are preparing for college.
Bedding & Room Essentials
Must-Have Items:
- Comfortable Sheets and Pillowcases: Twin XL size is standard for most dorms.
- Mattress Protector: For hygiene and comfort. She is a hot sleeper and really liked this one the best, from Amazon. Quick tip: You will want to open it before you get to the dorm so it can open up and air out. We wrapped it back up like a sleeping bag - go ahead and place the fitted sheet and top sheet on it, flip it upside-down and roll it up! It's easier with 2 people to help smoosh it! Then, we "tied it" with some packing tape, or if you have 2 belts, one on each end...then tucked it inside a trash bag to easily toss in the car!
- Comforter or Duvet: Choose something cozy and easy to clean.
- Pillows: One for sleeping and perhaps an extra for lounging or decorating.
- Blanket or Throw: For extra warmth or a cozy study session. Keep the super sentimental ones at home, but for sure bring one from home too for comfort. Weighted blankets are great for light sleepers or if your kiddo has some anxiety or nerves happening.
- Diffuser: For air quality as well as emotional support. Here's our favorite LED one from Amazon.
Leave Behind:
- Multiple decorative pillows: They take up space and are rarely used.
- Heavy, oversized comforters: Dorm rooms can be small and warm.
Kitchen Supplies
Must-Have Items:
- Mini Fridge: Great for snacks and drinks. We found ours at Home Depot. Some colleges have re-sell groups too!
- Small Blender for Protein Shakes: Quick healthy options for a meal or snack without all the sugar from the store bought ones. This is ours.
- Microwave and/or Crockpots: Convenient for meals, although some may not allow it. Many floors have a mini-kitchen set up.
- Reusable Water Bottle: Staying hydrated is key. Here's our favorite one. Plus it fits in Jeeps! Don't forget the bottle brush to clean it.
- Dishware: A few plates, bowls, and utensils.
- Coffee Maker: If your student is a coffee drinker, a small coffee maker can be a lifesaver. I would buy this one of she was.
- Fridge Containers: A designated shelf with labeled containers is helpful when sharing a fridge with other students. Grabbing these!
- Paper Towel & Cleaner Combo: Roomates can share the refilling - grabbing this one from Amazon for her room and the shared kitchen space
- Trash Can & Liners: Depending on set up with roommates, having a large one in the room is helpful. Super basic to Bougie!
Leave Behind:
- Large kitchen appliances: Space is limited and most dorms have communal kitchens, and may not allow certain appliances like toasters and instapots.
- Excessive dishware: A few key items will suffice.
Tech Gadgets
Must-Have Items:
- Laptop: Essential for classes, homework, and staying connected. We are an Apple family and use the MacBook Pro.
- Phone Charger Station: Vital for organization of Phone, Watch and Earbuds. We have had this one for 2 years now.
- Power Strip with Surge Protector: Dorms often have limited outlets. Here was our choice from Amazon.
- Portable Charger: For on-the-go device charging.
- Noise-Canceling Headphones: Great for studying or blocking out noise.
- Wireless Earbuds: These have been great and inexpensive.
- Batteries: Few AAA and AA on hand for devices.
Leave Behind:
- Desktop computer: Takes up too much space and is less versatile than a laptop.
- Large sound systems: Can be disruptive and are often unnecessary.
Study Essentials
Must-Have Items:
- Desk Lamp: A good lamp with adjustable brightness and spread for late-night study sessions. I'd do this one next time.
- Notebooks and Binders: For organizing notes and assignments. We found best deals at the Dollar type stores.
- Pens, Pencils, Highlighters: Basic supplies for taking notes. Just grab those when you see Back To School Sales at the local stores.
- Planner or Calendar: To keep track of assignments and important dates. My Super Organized Friend made this one to print! (Reach out to her for all things organization! It's on the PDF.)
- Backpack: Durable and comfortable for carrying books and supplies.
- Additional items: Scissors, paper clips, rubber bands, small desk trash can
Leave Behind:
- Excessive office supplies: Only a minimal amount is typically needed.
- Bulky desk organizers: Space is limited; keep it simple.
Personal Care Items
Must-Have Items:
- Toiletries, etc: Shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, toilet paper, paper towel, nail care and feminine supplies.
- Shower Caddy: To carry items to and from communal bathrooms. Since her bathroom is in her room, she uses a rolling caddy.
- Towels: A few bath towels and washcloths or scrubby.
- Laundry Basket and Detergent: Essential for laundry days. We loved this one with rollers from Amazon! Tip: Buy a little Tupperware dispenser like for salad dressing, or a type of canteen so they can have a small container of the detergent and not carry a big heavy one!
- First Aid Kit: Basic supplies for minor injuries or illnesses. Here's the one she also tosses in her cr when traveling home.
- Calm Magnesium Mix: So great for stressful days of testing or pmsing, easily mixed into water or any juice. Grab it here on Amazon.
- Electrolytes & Lions Mane Powders: This is a powerhouse juice packet, especially if your student doesn't drink coffee or want to avoid energy drinks.
- Healthy Energy Drink: For the teens who insist on drinking out of the can, here's the one our family drinks on occasion.
Leave Behind:
- Excessive makeup or grooming products: Bring only what is used regularly.
- Large bottles of toiletries: Opt for smaller, more manageable sizes.
Clothing
Must-Have Items:
- Comfortable Clothing: Casual wear for classes and study sessions. Most classrooms are cold, fyi.
- Professional Outfit: For presentations, observations days or job interviews. Some may have dress codes, but basic black or kaki is the normal for bottoms.
- Weather-Appropriate Gear: A good mix of clothing for different seasons and don't forget the umbrella.
- On The Go Weekend or Bag: For on-the-go weekend trips home or otherwise. Something like this from Amazon.
- Shoes: A few pairs, including comfortable walking shoes and shower shoes.
Leave Behind:
- Out-of-season clothes: These can be swapped out during visits home.
- Excessive accessories: Keep it simple and practical.
Miscellaneous Essentials
Must-Have Items:
- Cleaning Supplies: Disinfecting wipes, paper towels, and a small broom or vacuum. Here's our Amazon vacuum.
- Air Purifier: We loved this little set, kept one at home and one for her room. Here they are from Amazon.
- Tower Fan: Dorms can be warm. We grabbed ours at Sams for around $120. It was similar to this one on Amazon.
- Personal Documents: ID, health insurance card, and any necessary paperwork. Keep them in a small dorm safe. Found this one on Amazon.
- Basic Tool Kit: Small screwdriver set and adhesive hooks. We got her this one.
- Decorations: A few simple personal touches to make the space feel like home. There are a variety of wall displays. Here's one from Amazon.
Leave Behind:
- Too many decorations: Keep it minimal to avoid clutter.
- Expensive or irreplaceable items: Dorms are communal spaces and things can get lost or damaged.
By focusing on these must-have items and avoiding overpacking, you can help ensure your student is well-prepared for their college experience while keeping their dorm room organized and functional. Remember, it's always possible to purchase additional items as needed once they've settled in. Happy packing, and best of luck to your college-bound student!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Remember how FUN starting college was but also so overwhelming to navigate! Our teens are faced with even greater social pressures with the added element of social media access. This generation experiences a social pressure and presence we did not have.
Even if you think they don't listen to you, deep in your heart, know they are. While we have been training them up for these past 18 years, it's still important to send them off with reminders to help them prioritize the well-being of their minds even if they think they already know it all. Behind the eye rolls, you know are coming, they do appreciate these highlights as they walk into the new open doors....and so do YOU!
Our thoughts impact how we view our current reality, influencing how we perceive and interact with the world around us, including our college-bound teen. Along with prayer, incorporating a few simple practices can make a world of difference for them AND for YOU.
These are some simple truths my teen and I discussed as WE prepared for move out day and life in college. I pray they are encouragements for you too. It's amazing how easily we can slip away from common sense in times of stress and transition, even when it's all happy things!
First, start by being mindful of the content you consume.
Limit exposure to negative news and surround yourself with positive influences. As a believer, staying grounded in The Word is so important and seeking Him first in the day, and in every situation. If you need to set up parent controls on your devices, even as an adult, do it! It's up to YOU to protect YOU from YOU! Also, if you are looking for a Daily Reading Plan, there are tons in the You Version app, and they are all free!!
Second, pay attention to the people you surround yourself with.
Our friends can take us from one mood to another with just a text, or a look. They can lead us to Christ, or away from Him. Our teens may not have experienced unequally yoked friendships yet so this is a good time to share with them the value of like-minded friends and how powerfully they can help us stay steadfast and grounded in the Ways of Christ in every season of life, especially big life transitions.
Praying for the circle of influence around them, and also around us, their teachers and our own mentors, our friends and their friends helps us keep God in the midst of our relationships. Then, we can trust those open and closed doors when they come and walk through this new season without feeling overwhelmed or alone...or tempted towards worldly pleasures.
Next, taking our "vitamins!"
It is super important in order to think clearly and have a healthy brain for processing but one of the most forgotten Vitamins is G : Gratitude. Practice gratitude daily. Taking time to acknowledge the good things in life helps rewire our brains for optimism and hope-filled living. College is hard for EVERYONE and it will be important to take those prayerful deep breaths, in order to think clearly before making quick decisions! Some things take time to get adjusted to and remember, you can do all things with Him!!
Community Connections and Connecting to Self:
Engaging in hobby or ministry activities that promote movement and positivity like prayer, dancing, exercise, worship, meditation, outdoor experiences, volunteering and serving others, endless fun hobbies, or journaling, can aid in centering our thoughts and reducing stress. creating playlists in Spotify or other music apps is fun to be able to share with others too!
We cannot forget Mindfulness.
Guard your heart and mind and renew them daily. Prayer alongside essential oils, good supplements, good friends, a healthy mindset, God's Word & Worship provide healthy, natural support for physical and emotional relaxation that lends us into peace and joy and mental clarity nd spiritual strength that brings us closer to the Lord's purposesnd provisions, to bring Him glory along the path He has set before us each.
It IS a big deal. It IS going to take intentionality. It IS an adjustment. There will be misunderstandings, tears and awkward conversations in the process...but when we lay the foundation of Love, Trust, Joy, Hope and lean in to the new season with openness and honesty, and again, LOVE...it will be full of growth for both you and your teen.
Seek Him FIRST!!!! Pray fervently! Do not fear! Do not be afraid! You trained them up to go!!!!
It's time Mama.....
Stay close to the Lord, surround yourself with fish-filled friends and be grateful for the blessing to have raised them to go! You did it!!! You're doing it!!!! You're not alone!!!!! He is near. Lean in. He's got you BOTH!!!!!
Blessings and Heart Hugs,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Where are my Mamas sending their new high school graduate to college for the first time?!? It's so hard to believe the time is finally here to pack up her room and sort through all the things to leave, throw way or send with them for life their own.
We are close to move in, so today we are ordering all the things and of course, Mama has been stashing things away in preparation for Dorm Life. Things like first aid items, toiletries, and personal health items. Her Summers as a Camp Counselor back in Texas the past 3 years were a great training ground for both of us, knowing what is needed and what wasn't.
One of the BIGGEST TIPS we have heard from seasoned Moms and their Teens, plus our experience with the Summer Camp Dorm Life is this : Keep It Simple!! These are only temporary living quarters so what you move in will have to move out at the end of each school year.
Knowing this, we found things that were collapsible, lightweight (except the weighted blanket) and easy to maintain and easy on/off. We also looked for practical, fun, easy to assemble and use, plus healthy options for cleaning, foods / nutrition, supplements physical and emotional and first aid. Nothing is worse than grabbing hard to assemble items and things that were cheap! We have returned so many things! So, I am hoping the things I share in here will be helpful to you as you get ready too!
Shopping is just so much fun!!!! It IS some dollars though! Hopefully these are things they will take with them through college life all 4 years and beyond for many of these things!
FOR HEALTH:
Here is her list of supplements, oils, lotions and what we consider meds, including immune boosting juice, gummies...and cough drops!! Those first few months will be taxing on their immune system. Remember Kindergarten?!?! All those sniffles!! We are ready!!! Do what you can, as you can! Remember, it's more costly to heal illness than head it off!
Having a great diffuser for physical and emotional health was important for us too. I write about it over here.
Okay Mama, you've got this! There are still so many other things like the Fridge, cookware, toiletries, curtains, storage nd shelving systems, trash cans, even toilet paper and printer paper we are gathering!
I am right there with you. Think how many Mamas are sending off their college kiddos in the next few weeks! That's a lot of tissues about to be consumed!!
For me, I am praying, watching my thoughts, guarding my energy and being present in each moment. If you want to know what that looks like in practical way, I talked about that over here.
HUGS!!!!!!! Happy Move in Day!!!!! Can't wait to share more with you along the way!!!! In the meantime, see you on the HighWay of Prayers!
With Love, Mama Michele& College Kid Kaitlyn
PS.
Some of our links are our affiliate links since we have to disclose that here....this is how we pay for college friends, lol.
For the few YL things, if you have your own account, grab this list and go place your own order from your account!
If you don't have an account, no worries, you can set up a Customer account under Kaitlyn for FREE under her and get your own discounts and rewards!
(PSST: Use the CODE: SHAREYL for a discount!!) Friends don't let friends pay retail if at all possible!!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
