Me? An Introvert?!? SHY?!? Insecure?!? Anxious?!? Exhausted!?! Perfectionist!?! Well, yes indeed. I was! Well, I am STILL and Introvert, lol. I love people but I need my space too, especially after Peopling for a while.
When I tell people I am shy by nature, they don't believe me. When I tell them I struggled with insecurity, they don't believe that either, or that I was anxious or could ever have had panic attacks. Welp, it's all true. Healing is a powerful and transforming thing! Do I still have moments, sure...but it's not who I am anymore.
Thing is, people know us by what we show them. What I showed was what I wished I was....
I lived most of my life smiling and hugging. I genuinely love people and always see the good, but at the same time, I was always looking over my shoulder for the "bad guy." The older I got, the more attention I got from men whistling as I walked by or staring. These weren't compliments to me, these were the triggers of attention I didn't want.
When I was younger, I had severe cystic acne and would miss school because of it. When I was younger, I had bladder infections (UTI) and had to lay out on a table for examinations and Cath samples. When I was younger, I also got my finger caught in a door frame and I feared anyone ever holding my hand and noticing it. When I was younger, I witnessed horrible school yard fights and always felt vulnerable. When I was younger...I carried all this till I was older.
I learned how to build a wall to protect myself very early on. I learned how to keep my mouth closed and eyes down and not invite attention or draw attention to myself. This was how I learned to create my own little world of peace behind the wall fear and insecurity had built to protect me.
I lived inside this wall for years and years....like years! God gave me some wonderful friends and mentors, big sisters in the faith, to draw me out from behind that wall so He could do some breaking down of the wall fear had built. When God started to take down the wall, I didn't appreciate it! I felt so vulnerable. It was during this season God showed me His heart and asked me to trust His, to trust HE would be a Shield about me when the enemy threw his fiery darts and pushed in on thorns he could still see. It was NOT easy but it was beautiful.
I lived for so long being what I needed to be, I really didn't know me. It's been a journey of learning who I am and trusting God with my heart. Surrender is hard because it's not apathy, giving up or not caring. It's intentionality. It's humbling. It's trusting what you cannot see which why it takes trust and faith. This is why knowing Your Savior, The Great I Am, is so important. You cannot trust who you don't know. The more you know Him, the more you can trust Him and the more you trust Him, the easier the surrender.
Think about a child in the arms of a stranger vs parent....who can console her when she's scared or hurt? Who does she want to run to to show her favorite new toy or hold hands with to take a walk or go play with? The person who sees our heart, who knows us, who shows us loving care, is where we feel safe to be.
Today, I still have shyness, it's who I am by nature and I do get anxious nervous when my comfort zone issuing expanded and a new level is presented to step into, when it's a new person, place or things in my life but here's the thing...they aren't coming from fear. Fear is liar and his chains have been removed! BUT GOD! He has guarded my heart and mind for a long time now and my surrender and trust run deep. I rely on His leading, His wisdom, His way. So where He leads, I follow. My heart still races on some days, and the butterflies swarm in my chest...not gonna lie!
From hiding to highlighting, I choose to share authentically so others can be set free from fear too and live a life of freedom by faith! We cannot allow fear to keep our eyes down and hide us behind a wall. We were meant to SHINE our Lights and gather together as a city on a hill that others may come and see what The Lord has done, and is doing.
I thought I had to be an extrovert. I thought I had to have titles. I thought I had to be invited/recognized/approved. I thought I had to be perfect. I thought I had to settle for the back row. Come to find out, there's a whole ministry back here and I am here for it! In fact, I am creating it, just as I am as I sit here with my Father and Sweet Savior!
YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made, hemmed in, knitted together, raised up where you are for a purpose given to you, for such a time as this. You don't need validation to be brave and bold in God's Love. With Him, you have all you need for courage, freedom, peace and joy! Do you trust Him? Will you let Him lead you? Will you be courageously YOU and SHINE?!
Let's Do This Sisters! A cord of 3 is not easily broken. He has lifters for you. Ask, Seek and pray for Him to show you who they are. There's a flock, a tribe, of sisters waiting to rally with you! I am one of them!
I invite you to join my online Sister Community! I have asked God to take the reigns over there, so changes are coming and I am so excited for new doors to open!! Eyes, hands and heart OPEN! See ya there, or in here, either way, may the Lord meet you where you are and may you embrace His Heart for you too!!! He's Got You covered.
Big Hugs,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Congratulations on your decision to embark on a journey of personal growth and development! This is a significant achievement, especially for those who have struggled with anxiety and insecurity. By trusting in yourself and in God, you are bravely setting aside your fears and pride to say, "Help Me Grow."
Starting off on this path may feel overwhelming and scary, but it is a normal part of the process. However, it's important to note that personal development is different from simply solving problems. It's about growth and learning, and sometimes this may be unfamiliar territory, especially if you are a stay-at-home mom. You may have approached learning as a means to fix things, but now it's about developing new skill sets and becoming a leader, even within your own home.
As you begin your personal development journey, it's common to feel both excited about the possibilities and humbled by how much you still have to learn. Unfortunately, this vulnerability can become a trigger for anxiety. The enemy will try to highlight your weaknesses and discourage you from growing closer to God. Insecurity may tell you that you're not ready or capable of leading, but remember that faith tells you that you are capable of doing all things with God by your side. Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the willingness to act despite it.
To navigate this journey, here are a few steps you can take: First, acknowledge that feeling nervous is a natural part of growth. Trust that God will provide what you need, whether it's building up or tearing down. Second, surrender control and understand that it's okay to be scared. Cast your cares on God and ask for His strength and guidance. Third, surround yourself with like-minded individuals who can offer support and accountability. Lastly, evaluate your environment and be mindful of the influences around you, as what you listen to can impact your personal development.
Remember that personal growth is a continuous process, and there will always be new challenges as you continue to learn and develop. Embrace the grace in the hard times and avoid getting swept away by doubts and insecurities. Take one step at a time and don't let fear hinder your progress. Trust that God is with you every step of the way and allow Him to prune, cleanse, and lead you. This is an adventure worth embarking on, and God's heart is for you as you grow and shine your light.
Read more...
Just in case you thought you were the ONLY ONE....YOU ARE NOT!!! I did a quick Google search and found this statistic across several sites...85% of us are struggling with love self esteem....WOW! No wonder filters are such a big deal these days. People are hiding. I know that tactic all too well. I spent most of my life hiding.
As a Believer, we should not be surprised when the enemy taunts us with these thoughts...
- Who do you think you are?
- You aren't equipped.
- You are ready or wise enough.
- You pray way too much and God is gonna get frustrated with you if you keep asking for His help.
- You are easily replaceable!
- They can do it way better than you.
- It's too much work, don't waste your time and energy, certainly not your prayer time over it.
- It won't make a difference anyway.
Sound familiar?!? I have heard them too.
These are the questions I couldn't answer in truth because the truths I believed were actually lies. Believing these lies is why I hid. I didn't want to be less than. I didn't want to fail or be rejected by God or others. So, under the bushel I slipped to hide my tiny Light afraid if I let it grow, I would be burned.
Friend, our Light is Shielded in Love. Where the Spirit of God is, we are free, empowered and cared for. We stand in the fiery furnace, not consumed by death, but surrounded by Life. He died and rose again for YOU! To give you His power within you to walk this side of Glory in His name, in Divine purpose and plan, with power, peace and faith.
Faith that says you are able cuz He is with you.
Faith that holds you in sinking sands.
Faith that leads you through the wilderness and over the crashing waves.
Faith that finds what is lost and gives sight to what was blind.
Faith that breaks generational curses and dissolves chains fear bound.
Will there still be pain and suffering? Yes. Will you still have to overcome lies with truths? Yes. The enemy will never stop his schemes to get you to step back. God called us out to GO therefore!
Once I learned the truths of God's design for His children, for me, to walk by faith and not by sight, as I experience trials, pruned, refined, renewing my mind as this temporary life rolls by. With every second, I call this to mind that I must choose to remain steadfast, strong, courageous, confident in the leading and provision of my Lord, unafraid to share and shine together with all my Sisters as a city on a hill on the shorelines of Grace!
- You are more than a conqueror.
- You are more than able.
- His grace is enough
- Nothing can separate you from His Love.
- There is a peace that surpasses ll understanding in Jesus.
- We can rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
- We make choices that quench the Spirit...let's stop doing that!
- You were created for HIs glory and His heart is for you.
- We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.
- A surrendered life is full of beauty and strength where joy grows.
Today, remember who you are, Daughter of The King. You are a Warrior. You are His temple to shine and serve as His hands and feet here in the dirt of earth until He calls you home. Look at your fingerprints...there's your path, unique to YOU! No one else can compare to your direction, gifts, talents or experience. Your wisdom is not in the books of the world, but in The Book of Life, The Word of God.
Put on then, His Love, His compassionate hearts and seek Him first for the next steps, every day, all the days of your life. Until we take our breath inside the Gates of Glory, let's draw near to His Consuming Fire and stay LIT UP in Jesus Name for His glory alone.
We live for HIM, Christ Alone, Name above all other Names, our Audience of One!
Seeing BIG COURAGEOUS Heart Hugs as you seek HIM ABOVE ALL ELSE,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Wow, it's been over 14 years....if I am being honest, that fact alone makes me both angry with myself yet so grateful to be here in this blessing of hope and healing, in the overcoming of fear, anxiety, insecurity and less-than-the-bless.
The very things I thought I would never do, I am. What I thought wasn't for me, was. I have never been so glad to be so wrong in all my life!
Read more...
Do you ever feel like every thought you have is a wrestling match of good vs bad? You are afraid yet confident...excited but terrified? Anticipating yet avoiding?!? Or is it just me!?!
God is faithful and uses our tests for testimonies if we let go of fear and pride to let Him use us!! In the beginning of your personal development journey, you realize how much you don't realize about your thoughts. As much as a positive thinker I am, I have allowed fear to set up an ocean of fear that my thoughts soak in. I assumed I was just a worrier. I assumed I was just cautious. It wasn't until I began learning I could discipline and cleanse my body and my mind, renewing it day by day, in faith, with grace, through Love.
It begins with prayer. Asking and Seeking His presence first of your day, throughout your day, as you laid down your head. In our prayers, affirming Who He is as our Father and Friend. It is confessing your fears and doubts and releasing them from your control, turning them over to His control. It's adoration, sitting in worship and gratitude.
When we set our minds on things from above, our hearts and faith strengthen.
Since this learning, I am constantly soaking my thoughts in the deep living waters of faith. This is where I have found peace and joy.
There is no depth too deep, shoreline too far or hug of God too far from you. He hears you and sees you because He loves you so very much and nothing can separate you from His Sweet Love!
Fear IS a trap!
Fear IS isolating!
Fear IS suffocating!
Fear IS weakening!
Fear IS minimizing!
Faith IS strengthening!!
Faith IS plentiful!!
Faith IS reaching!!
Faith IS embolding!!
Faith conquers Fear!
Walk by FAITH, do not fear!
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”
Genesis 50:20-21 ESV
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
