We are talking about Overcoming Fear this month. Fear was my guide nearly ALL my life and until The Lord helped set me free from it, I didn’t realize how bound up I was until it broke loose.
I mentioned in the last blog how well meaning friends would say things like just Let Go and Let God, It’ll be fine,
It were those top 3 things I really needed (and I dare say we ALL need) in my life were Sisters, Boundaries and Intimate Worship.
Let’s continue this bloggy convo!
The fear of failing, the fear of rejection, the fear of not being enough/able/ready/equipped/etc.
In my heart I didn’t feel pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, funny enough to fit in to what I assumed others expected me to be….who I expected to be, who I thought God created me to be.
In the last blog, I talked a lot of about the fear of the physical fear. Today, it's emotional fear triggered by a DIFFERENT PHYSICAL vulnerability in appearance and worthiness.
There was nothing I liked about me….ears to big, nose too big, eyes too small, lashe too short and blonde, legs to bowed, hips too square, oily face, yellow teeth, face full of cystic acne......did I mention I didn't know what to do with my hairy legs and mustache. it's the Italian in me I suppose.
I felt like an ugly duckling.
Like many others, I faced betrayals, feeling alone, feeling unworthy and often unnecessary. I just felt there was always someone who could do "it" better, so I should sit down...or hustle, only to feel like I failed because I was constantly having to hustle.
I had the privilege to share more about my teen years in a recent book collaboration if you are interested in checking out letters we wrote to our teen selves.
I felt so much hurt without anywhere (anyone) to go with it. I didn't want to open up the vault where I had stuffed my tears in to. My rose-colored heart and soul hurt so bad, I got busy serving, I felt dull yet striving to shine.
My M.O. was being everyone’s Yes! People pleasing was a coping mechanism to avoid arguments, conflict and rejection.
Keeping peace and felling protection meant I was passive. Often, a doormat. It was just easier, so I felt. I easily followed and never led. Fear created what felt like a sort of safe zone for me.
Power triggered fear. Strong personalities were loose canons to me. Loudness was intimidating. Parties and crowds felt like traps not quickly escaped.
To be sure, I am a Christ Follower, I have faith...I just didn’t know how to see my purpose or ability. Bravery, boldness, and leadership seemed like it was something everyone else had and something I just didn't have. I didn't know I already had It within me! Friend, SO DO YOU!
I had become really good at hiding,
Fear shackled my joy.
Does anyone else know what I mean?!
Any decision that could involve conflict or failure were avoided to certain degrees in every area of my life. I still married, still became a Mom, still served in ministry and leadership but it was all done in shackled joy.
The Lord is not going to sit back and watch His children remain shackled. We’ve been created for a purpose and equipped to accomplish it through Him and His strength, despite our weaknesses and insecurities because He is able, because He is Lord and He created each of us with a purpose in mind.
His Grace is more than enough and we can walk in it boldly, confidently and powerfully knowing and trusting we are so well held in Jesus name, the Name above all others..
Gracious God, the chains fear had on me finally broke off in 2009.
God is fighting for your heart. The battle really is His. It’s up to you to stop fighting and let Him in.
I recorded a video earlier going more in to the topic of trust and surrender in the Love of God if you want to check it out. I pray you will see your own wall fear has built dissolve one layer at a time till you see the Cornerstone of Grace, Mercy and Love!
Let’s talk about these 3 helps:
Circle your fears with Sisterhood.
I talked about this in the video today too. Pray and ask God to gift you some trustworthy Sisters who can carry that mat you find yourself curled up on, to Him! Share what your insecurities are and allow them to speak life over you. He is faithful.
Circle your fears with Boundaries.
Set your own comfort levels to say yes or no, but I challenge you to practice saying yes to more opportunities to share your heart and gifting with others and if you’re in the opposite place of needing to say no, be brave enough to do that too! There is a season for both!
Also, stop comparing yourself to others. Stand in the beautiful creation you are. Sure, take care of your body, mind and soul to the best of your abilities, guard and serve your Temple well, but do not allow your identity to be wrapped up in it. Our identity is in Christ alone! We are daughters of the King. (Talked about that too in the You Tubes)
Circle your fears with Intimate Worship.
Worship when you feel not enough, worship when you feel too much. Worship in sorrow, loneliness, anger, fear. Worship in hope, anticipation, joy and provisions of visions. Rest in his loving and patience and wide spread arms and let yourself be held as you surrender into His love for you.
People may have hurt, betrayed, left or judged you, but God, H never fails.
Less of me God, More of you. Consume my Heart with Yours.
Sister, you are safe in His arms. He’s got you and you can have peace.
It's time to rise up in your posture of Surrender! It takes time and there is no better time than NOW! His mercies are new EVERY SINGLE MORNING!!!
Glory to God in the highest,
PS. Here's the link where I talked more about this over in a video on my You Tube if you would like more of a little Coffee Sister Chat.
If you have a friend who could use a heart hug, feel free to share this with her!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,