At first, I thought it was possible altitude sickness or claustrophobia...
January 2008:
I struggled on one of our SCUBA dives in Belize which had a strong current that day
May 2008:
We were taking the kids to the Caverns outside Austin, Texas and half way though, I couldn't breathe in the humid air, saw one way out was through a small carved out hallway to finish the tour, the other was back up where I knew the path. Josh felt fine and finished the tour with the kids.
December 2008:
Toured the Hoover Dam in Vegas and from the moment we stepped on the crammed in like sardines elevator and into the cave below, it was overcome with not being able to breath and left the tour with some Angels unaware. A story for another time.
From that moment on, the breaths never returned to normal. A flip had been switched on inside me. It would be waves upon waves...eventually, we received the diagnosis "panic attacks."
“ME?!? NOT EVEN POSSIBLE” I thought....
Did I struggle with fear most of my life? Insecurity? Trust? Well, yes….
I am the most passive, peaceful and calm person you'll ever know. He replied, "For most people that's exactly true for them too."
This is the Silent Crisis Season where my tests created a new testimony of faith for me. It was in this season, I found God's Heart.
I just have to say, while the healing has come, PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY, HE gets ALL THE GLORY in my story, I have not been able to consider caverns since that weekend in 2008. I didn't want to trigger something old.
I had some of the same fears about cruising and God recently broke off those chains, story for another time. I knew GRACE and trust. I knew scary surrender. BUT GOD! It was beautiful!
Last week, I found myself 164 ft below ground in Virginia Caverns. WOW WOW WOW. I did it....no, GOD did it but I trusted His hold!!
Was it hard, sure. Healing is such a funny thing. Courage is such a complex thing.
I am FLAT OUT Grateful & Humble. His grace is sufficient. Trust me, oh have I pleaded over many things, many times. I have begged for less of me and more of Him. He has been so faithful.
This is Livin' Where Faith Is.
I am thankful for this season of writing to bring me back to hard seasons so I can stand in great awe of where He has brought me. I pray HE is glorified, seen and pleased. How I pray I serve Him well. My heart is all His as His is all mine.
Friend, God Loves You.
He sees you.
He hears you.
He is near.
He knooooooowssssss.......grace upon grace.
Here's me, somewhere 164 ft deep in gratitude in the Smoky Blue Ridge Mountains.....more videos to come, and an actual blog, likely an entire book! heehee
Glory to God in the Highest!!! The Great I Am, Healer and Protector of our Hearts.
What can YOU choose to face today? This week?!? Something you want to, but have been afraid to? Another one of mine is walking bridges...another is hiking...another is heights...being interviewed...hosting an event...publishing my book...even holding a chicken! Yep, I said it!
What about YOU!?! Get your worship joy ON!!!! Let's Go!!!!!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
What a Week!!! Not only is it Easter weekend, it's also my bday week. So much LIFE to Celebrate over here!! Long story short, the Lord drew me out of drowning waters of perfection, worry, insecurity, living my life as a Check List Christian, hustling for my worth, and led me beside still waters where we sat quiet in the chaos, together.
It didn't feel quiet really, but the waters were quiet. I didn't feel peaceful at first, I was still catching my breath from treading water and tumbling about my days nearly all my life. I was exhausted and at the end of my ability to keep up the hustle. He saw me, the sheep who had meandered to the back of the pasture, struggling to keep up and in His loving kindness walked over to me, carrying me back to nearness to Him once again.
But God. He was faithful as we sat in Holy Hushed silence.
While I had known Him nearly my whole life, it was during this time I got to know His heart. Good Friday took on a whole new meaning from this birthday on. What's so good about it?!? It's the act of Love that saved my life and yours. Good Friday taught me Love in Honor rather than expectation. Christ the King surrendered. His death wasn't "good." He is good.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. His Love is Good.
My birthday week is especially special because it is my Celebration of Life date. It's the date I declared chains off, pit filled, valley conquered, heart mended, weakness overcome. April 2009 will forever be this Anniversary date in my life.
I can't help but live my life in a state of worship after living it in a lifetime of worry. He paid...it...all.
I am forever grateful for my very breath. I am forever grateful for His Heart for me, and for you too. The enemy knows this and continually works to make us small. The enemy wants us to live life overthinking, overwhelmed and busy. This is how we miss God's whispers. This is how we miss out on fellowing with Him.
Soul stillness...this is that season for me. Being still, allowing Him to lead me beside still waters. It's hard to find the words to describe it, hopefully this video I recorded helps.
Happy Easter, Happy birthday to all of us. We each have the opportunity to celebrate new life in Jesus Name, our Savior and King, Father and Friend.
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
