Overcoming Shyness, Insecurity and Anxiety as a Christian : From Hiding to Highlighting

Me? An Introvert?!? SHY?!? Insecure?!? Anxious?!? Exhausted!?! Perfectionist!?! Well, yes indeed. I was! Well, I am STILL and Introvert, lol. I love people but I need my space too, especially after Peopling for a while. 

When I tell people I am shy by nature, they don't believe me. When I tell them I struggled with insecurity, they don't believe that either, or that I was anxious or could ever have had panic attacks. Welp, it's all true. Healing is a powerful and transforming thing! Do I still have moments, sure...but it's not who I am anymore.

Thing is, people know us by what we show them. What I showed was what I wished I was....

I lived most of my life smiling and hugging. I genuinely love people and always see the good, but at the same time, I was always looking over my shoulder for the "bad guy." The older I got, the more attention I got from men whistling as I walked by or staring. These weren't compliments to me, these were the triggers of attention I didn't want. 

When I was younger, I had severe cystic acne and would miss school because of it. When I was younger, I had bladder infections (UTI) and had to lay out on a table for examinations and Cath samples. When I was younger, I also got my finger caught in a door frame and I feared anyone ever holding my hand and noticing it. When I was younger, I witnessed horrible school yard fights and always felt vulnerable. When I was younger...I carried all this till I was older.

I learned how to build a wall to protect myself very early on. I learned how to keep my mouth closed and eyes down and not invite attention or draw attention to myself. This was how I learned to create my own little world of peace behind the wall fear and insecurity had built to protect me. 

I lived inside this wall for years and years....like years! God gave me some wonderful friends and mentors, big sisters in the faith, to draw me out from behind that wall so He could do some breaking down of the wall fear had built. When God started to take down the wall, I didn't appreciate it! I felt so vulnerable. It was during this season God showed me His heart and asked me to trust His, to trust HE would be a Shield about me when the enemy threw his fiery darts and pushed in on thorns he could still see. It was NOT easy but it was beautiful. 

I lived for so long being what I needed to be, I really didn't know me. It's been a journey of learning who I am and trusting God with my heart. Surrender is hard because it's not apathy, giving up or not caring. It's intentionality. It's humbling. It's trusting what you cannot see which why it takes trust and faith. This is why knowing Your Savior, The Great I Am, is so important. You cannot trust who you don't know. The more you know Him, the more you can trust Him and the more you trust Him, the easier the surrender.

Think about a child in the arms of a stranger vs parent....who can console her when she's scared or hurt? Who does she want to run to to show her favorite new toy or hold hands with to take a walk or go play with? The person who sees our heart, who knows us, who shows us loving care, is where we feel safe to be. 

Today, I still have shyness, it's who I am by nature and I do get anxious nervous when my comfort zone issuing expanded and a new level is presented to step into, when it's a new person, place or things in my life but here's the thing...they aren't coming from fear. Fear is liar and his chains have been removed! BUT GOD! He has guarded my heart and mind for a long time now and my surrender and trust run deep. I rely on His leading, His wisdom, His way. So where He leads, I follow. My heart still races on some days, and the butterflies swarm in my chest...not gonna lie! 

From hiding to highlighting, I choose to share authentically so others can be set free from fear too and live a life of freedom by faith! We cannot allow fear to keep our eyes down and hide us behind a wall. We were meant to SHINE our Lights and gather together as a city on a hill that others may come and see what The Lord has done, and is doing.

I thought I had to be an extrovert. I thought I had to have titles. I thought I had to be invited/recognized/approved. I thought I had to be perfect. I thought I had to settle for the back row. Come to find out, there's a whole ministry back here and I am here for it! In fact, I am creating it, just as I am as I sit here with my Father and Sweet Savior!

YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made, hemmed in, knitted together, raised up where you are for a purpose given to you, for such a time as this. You don't need validation to be brave and bold in God's Love. With Him, you have all you need for courage, freedom, peace and joy! Do you trust Him? Will you let Him lead you? Will you be courageously YOU and SHINE?!

Let's Do This Sisters! A cord of 3 is not easily broken. He has lifters for you. Ask, Seek and pray for Him to show you who they are. There's a flock, a tribe, of sisters waiting to rally with you! I am one of them!

I invite you to join my online Sister Community! I have asked God to take the reigns over there, so changes are coming and I am so excited for new doors to open!! Eyes, hands and heart OPEN! See ya there, or in here, either way, may the Lord meet you where you are and may you embrace His Heart for you too!!! He's Got You covered.

Big Hugs,

If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
 in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!

Heart Hugs and Blessings,

How to Be a Peacemaker when you are anxious

In this blog post, the author reflects on the difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. They share their personal experience of being an avoider and how it affected their ability to handle conflict and confrontations. The author encourages shy and insecure individuals to find their voice and speak their truth, emphasizing that true peace is found in Jesus and His love. They highlight the importance of extending peace to others and embracing peace in our own lives. The author concludes by urging readers to stand firm, be courageous, and speak truth in love, quoting James 3:13, 17-18.

How To Say No to Others while Saying Yes to God

Let's Start out this Monday with a Confession shall we?!?!

I used to think it was a kind, humble, heroic and a Servant-Leadership quality to say YES to e v e r y t h i n g. 
Yes, I will do that for you.
Yes, I can do that.

Whether it was for my kids, my husband, my friend, my church, my neighbor...I said Yes. People-Pleasing, yes but not in the I need their approval kind of way, rather I thought I would be exemplifying the Love of Jesus by serving and helping others if they asked. 

This was a problem in 2 big ways:
1.) I burned out and found myself running on fumes trying to be everything to everyone regardless if I felt able to (or wanting to) which caused anxiety, anger, frustration, shutting down in depletion, to name a few. There were many days I felt like a Doormat. Some days I felt like a Vending Machine. 
2.) I was taking someone's else's blessing of serving in their place. I was a quick Yes without praying and asking God if this was my Yes or someone else's. Which also meant that I may have missed my own Yes Blessing because I was doing theirs.

Once I crashed and burned, God sat me down for a season and said, Enough with that. I need you to meet with Me first. I AM your Yes, No, Not Yet.

This is why I am always quoting Matthew 6:33. It's so important we seek what God has prepared and planned for us. Some things may be amazing opportunities and reasons to say Yes, but if God hasn't called you to it, it will feel hard, frustrating, depleting and like you are working with weights on. You may be able to do the things, but are you supposed to be doing those things is the real question.

It's so important for so many reasons why we need to Seek Him, Ask Him, first! We can't outrun God or fall so far behind He can't bring us to the right place, but we certainly can get stuck in an unnecessary wilderness or walked needlessly the wrong way and missed out on some blessings prepared for us.

Prayerful considerations are what are stablished within learning boundaries. Boundaries for setting up the guardrail and launching pad that prayer comes first before my word is given, be it a yes or no. Boundaries for knowing where my strengths and weaknesses and allowances are.

Prayer to ask God if this is something He has set up for you. Prayer to ask God for the strength and courage to do it if you don't think you are able or qualified. Prayer to release the selfish desire to be the hero and instead step back and support the one called to so the thing. Wherever He leads, this is where I set my eyes and energy. 

Of course, this I not being legalistic to ask God , My Child is sick, should I stay home with them or go shopping with a friend, Should I buy my friend a cup of coffee when we go out, Should I let someone get in line in front of me at the store because their baby is ready to go home. God gives is common sense and discernment for every day life things. Some things won't be super easy, or obvious which those are the moments we Seek Him. 

Knowing we'd need Community support, encouragement and iron sharpening iron mentorships, He created us for each other to intertwine our paths. Titus 2, Proverbs 27:17...such valuable relationships (gifts) in our lives!!!! 

Teaching these things to her too, my mini-me empath, generous, compassionate, people-living, God-loving Girl.

Lord, Thank You for Your loving kindness, patience and gentleness to restore, renew and return us back to You. We confess when we run ahead of You, pull us back Lord. We confess when we are stubborn or afraid and we hide behind, pull us up Lord. We need You to Lead us. Be our Guide, our Shield, our YES and AMEN!!!! 
We need and love You so much, in Your Son's Merciful and Grace upon Gracious Name, amen.

If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
 in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!

Heart Hugs and Blessings,

Dear Tired Mom, I See You.

Stop Worrying about messing up your kids and worry more about messing up YOU!!!! You have probably heard the old saying, If Mama ain't happy, aint no one happy." Well, there's some truth in that. I'll say this, If Mama isn't happy, Mama needs more time with Jesus!! 

As Moms, we tend to put ourselves last on the list. We allow our day to run us vs running our day. And If Mom is stressed & overwhelmed, so will the family be. If you are depleted, you are functioning and contributing from lack, not abundance and God came for us to live in abundance! 

A Mom functioning on fumes from a depleted tank has nothing sustainable to share. Like a battery, in the red, it isn’t going to send a charge and in the meantime, we are hurting ourselves.

It's a fact: A depleted battery cannot charge another battery as much as we try! 
We must charge our battery in order to serve the ones around us well. So how do we fill back up?

Foundations: Structure, Surrender and Sisterhood are everything.

  • Creating a routine and establishing clear intentions, boundaries not only for self, but for the Home.
  • Meet with the Lord every morning (worshiping throughout the day in all the things as you serve your family and others) and seeking His plan/ goals, asking Him to lead you for the day/week.season.
  • Grace and yielding to God's plan as you prepare yourself to follow. Grace to trust when He says No to something, or Yes to something you hadn't considered.
  • Letting go of perfect control and allow God to provide the provision of energy, wisdom and purpose. 
  • We need to be in fellowship with other like-minded Mama Friends and choose to do life together. There's so much blessing and courage and joy that comes from our iron sharpening iron conversations and Titus 2 relationships. We need each other!
Mama, the enemy would like for you to continue to hustle in your Heart & Home and never feel worthy.or caught up. He wants you to feel exhausted and make you think you're doing a horrible job because you aren't checking off all the boxes you think you should be to be that perfect Mom.

Mama Friend, you are perfectly equipped and able to serve in the Ministry of Motherhood because He has called you to this! Guard your time with your Savior and Friend.

Starting today, let's focus on how we can best bless our family through serving our Lord with all our heart, mind and soul, asking Him to fill us, charge us and replenish us as only He can so that in the overflow of His touch, we can touch those around us that He has prepared for us to touch in His Name.

Seek First, God, and all these things shall be added unto you! Amen

If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
 in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!

Heart Hugs and Blessings,

How Do I Stop Feeling so Overwhelmed?

Feeling overwhelmed? Here we are at the beginning of a brand new year and the world is shooting out the gate, but does anyone else feel like they are still putting their shoes on? No worries, I will wait for you to tie your laces....

As an Introvert who has struggled with a lifetime of anxiety and insecurity, the comparison trap is an easy one the enemy tosses out there! Do you ever feel defeated that your pace in life feels much slower than everyone else? I sure have and  the overwhelm comes from the hustle to try and catch up! 

This feeling of overwhelm is a result of looking too far ahead and not seeing where the energy or ability will come from. Depending on your personality and life experiences, you will feel yourself charged and ready to go, or feel frozen, stuck to your seat, unable to get up, at all. I get that! In my 50 years on this earth, I have felt both!

I lived too many years looking way out infront of me and way behind me, rarely beside me. One day God tapped me on my shoulder and said, Hey, look to your side. I saw entire teams of people lacing up their shoes too, stretching in preparation. I wasn't left behind after all. 

My encouragement to you is this...take time to look beside you! Here's why:

  • Your heart realizes you are not alone (even though you always have Jesus near)
  • You stay present in the current moment, season, emotion, task at hand
  • Preparation happens in the present
Too many of us are living lives in defeat because we have excused ourselves from the proverbial race seeing everyone strides ahead of where we are, allowing the enemy to whisper in our hearts, You won't ever catch up! And that's okay! Who said we were supposed to catch up!? Let those who have gone before you become iron sharpening mentors, a cloud of cheering witnesses in your race. And those beside you, the locking of arms to walk alongside you as lifters when you grow weary. We need Beside You Sisters.

While there is a time and place to walk in solitude just as Jesus did, you were absolutely created for community. Sisterhood is an key ingredient to a life of strength, endurance and peace. And last thing, look behind you. As you see how far you've come, be blessed knowing you are a cheering witness to those looking forward towards you!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 
who comforts us in all our affliction, 
so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, 
with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 
For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
 in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!

Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Read Older Updates