To the Girl Hiding in the Background afraid to Shine.....
"I see your heart. I know it all too well. We are the same.
You wear a mask of the girl you wish you could be. This mask feels like the only chance at fitting in. You work hard daily, saying yes to all the things to make God happy; to meet everyone’s expectations, doing all the things perfectly to earn the approval of God and others. This is how you guard your heart to avoid hurt and rejection.
Our teen years were hard, filled with these insecurities and a constant need for self-protection, both emotionally and physically. You’ve been told your whole life: “the world is evil, be aware of the bad guys”. This is why we hide behind a wall built of fear. If there was a positive to this, it would be your ability to read a room. You have great discernment of the people and environment around you.
You have a pure heart to serve others, you’re just so scared it won’t measure up. If you don’t know this yet, you are also a total romantic at heart, excited to live the fairytale life you grew up believing was real. You dream of having the sweet friendships you see on TV, but your life doesn’t look like theirs and you certainly don’t look like any of them. You don’t feel pretty or smart enough to be chosen. I cannot wait for you to finally know how amazing (and enough) your heart is."
I had the honor to submit a chapter in the new release Letters to My Teenage Self, Vol 2 created by my friend, Nicole Bateman. She asked us to think back on our Teens years and share encouragement for that same Teen today.
This above is an excerpt from my Chapter in Letters To My Teenage Self. So many of us are hiding in the background of life, feeling less than in a hundred different ways. We wish we were prettier, more energetic, smart, funny, successful, daring.
As Believers, I think we can get so busy worrying about pleasing God and others we take our eyes off of all we are and focus on all we are not, in the name of improvement and personal growth, and humility.
I am certainly the first one to say I am not perfect but I was not always that way. I used to think to represent myself as a Christian women, a Church Leader, the Great Mom and Wife of Proverbs 31, I had to be perfect. But I wasn't, so I felt like. failure, all...the...time. This is where works based value slowly becomes our focus of striving towards the goal of worthiness.
God has created each of us in such a masterful and unique way that reflect all the endless characteristics of who He is and ultimately to share His glory, His character, His grace, His perfection, through our lives. It's not our job to be perfect or make everyone else happy.
We are instruments of praise!!!
We funnel His love, His peace, His kindness, His healing hope through us.
What an honor.
In knowing He loves us as we are, we are strengthened and empowered
Even when we come to know this truth, there's still the overcoming part of living it out. I'll be writing about that in the next blog!
Until then, you can check out the stories of these other 11 amazing women who shared their Letters here : Letters.MicheleDickerson.com.
SO much love straight from the Heart of God,
Your Sista Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
The Heart of God.
My Rock. My Foundation. My Heart. My God.
It amazes me even as I type this that it has been over 14 years in which God rescued my heart in bondage.
Just as the medical professions ask you to label your pain on a scale of 1-10, we could easily use the same scale for the pain of our hearts and souls. Some days, weeks or even seasons are identified by a marked "2" on the pain scale, whereas others are an intolerable "11." Yah, I hear you...we have all been there.
I talk about my journey of overcoming throughout other writing entries, so I will refrain from this turning into the book it will one day be. I want to share with you about the Hearts From God and how they began.
Fear, anxiety and insecurity ruled my mind and I am sure blocked many blessings I know were meant for me BUT GOD, so much grace, long suffering, loving kindness, rescued me from the chains that bound my heart and set me free into glorious freedom.
Even when I was anxious and fearful, He was a Good Father, protecting and kind, no doubt shaking His head at His Daughter every time she got into her head and started to worry and overthink...everything!!! I know the feeling as a Mom, when you see your children in their head. My kids have brought me to my knees and I can only imagine Jesus dropping to His, in fact, He gave His life that I may have courage and believe.
Oh me, the ye of little faith.
Through a Divine orchestration of events, God brought into my life two woman who would not only Counsel me out of my pit, but became Praying Mentors walking with me, teaching me, encouraging me to remain faithfully clinging to Him with my every exhale. It was almost like a Spiritual baton passing from one Mentor to the other. How blessed and surrounded was I that He would care so much.
Healing was a laborious process. Every breath counted....breathing in, and out, with every intentional expansion of my constricted lungs, every day stronger than the next, more trust, more surrender, more Daily Bread, more joy and more faith.
Time came for our annual family vacation. This year, it was a road trip to New Mexico, a favorite family destination but I was not so sure about the trip. Anxiety still had a hold of my hem, a thorn in my flesh. The wounds were healing but the scars were still fresh.
Here we were headed on a trip that I wasn't sure I could, or should make. I called my mentor and shared my nervousness. She would be the only one who would understand. Knowing my anxiety, she called me to meet her in her office at the church and greeted me with a hug and a card with the instructions I could open it once we arrived to the house in New Mexico.
This would be a significant moment forever etched in my life. Standing in the middle of her office, she would be the first person to have laid hands on me, prayed over me, face to face, side by side.
Our family loaded up and hit the road. Nearly the entire way, I fought for my peace and calmness. I counted every breath, through every passing mile. As we drove, my fear revealed itself through claustrophobia and agoraphobia. I was Holy Determined not to give in to the sting of death in my body. I was clinging desperately to my Heavenly Father, my Authority and Strong Tower with the marking of every mile.
In this season, I came to know how worship lays a covering over worry, slowing snuffing it out. In every breath, I worshiped in constant thanksgiving to the Lord for His provision and Peace, His grace that anchored my soul in trust and surrendering faith, across the many, many, many miles!
I will share more in the book all the details of all that happens next but here's the long story short. Once we arrived at the vacation house, the kids could not wait to get out and explore the new Frisbe Golf Course at the top of the same mountain we usually ski in the winter. I really didn't like this 15 min ride up the very high lift to the top.
My adrenaline was racing and while exhausted from keeping it together, I was equally jumping for joy in awe to be alive! No joke! I took a deep breath preparing myself for another plea for more grace and help, so before we headed out, I grabbed the card given to me. It was time!
What a beautiful card with a heart shaped rock on the cover to remind me God never takes His eyes off me. What a wonderful comfort for a girl who currently feels like she is a mere speck in the middle of a small mountain town, headed to the top of a mountain. Lord, You are good.
Going in Grace, we headed to the mountain and hopped on the lift. I hopped on, smiling and hoping, again. I probably held my breath the whole 15 minutes!! As with healing, it's body, mind and soul. For me, the physical body doesn't always follow the thinking of the mind for my mind was not fearing, but rejoicing.
As common with panic or anxiety attacks, I became very out of breath and a little disoriented, although that could have been the altitude too. Who can stand miles high looking over a cliff and not feel a little unsure of your steps?!? We took a quick family picture and I sent them on their way, because I felt the welling up within. I didn't want them to see me stirring.
It was happening.....
The enemy is so quick to clap his sarcasm, "Well, it was a good try. You knew your faith wasn't strong enough yet."
Tears filled my heart as it began to race. Will I always be so "messed up" Lord? Do my kids see me as ridiculous and weak? Is my husband disappointed and embarrassed by me? Can I ever be normal again? Why did You wait till I was trapped on top of mountain to let this happen? Where are you? Why am I not healed yet? God, please tell me You are still in control, that You have a better plan for me. This cannot be my life.
Not another soul was round. I began pacing and praying, not knowing where to go, what more to say, how to pled different or-pray different or worship different. Then, there it was. Among the white mountain landscape, just inches before me, appeared a grey rock. A heart shaped rock. It was as if God had created a 3D print of the rock from the card I had opened at the house.
As if winning the lotto of Heaven, my spirit jumped inside me. I could hear Him saying these words from the card to me, "I've never taken My eye off of you. Not for a millisecond. I am always near. I love to hear your heart's worship as it consumes the worry, inch by inch, eve over wave. I love to hear you talking to Me."
I picked up that precious heart-shaped rock seemingly dropped from Heaven and held it tight in my hand, squeezing it with all I had physically and releasing my grip emotionally, exhaling the deepest breath. He was near. He saw me. Amen, Amen.
Holding His Heart, The Rock Who is Higher than I....my Strength, my Joy, my Refuge, as He was holding me.
This "heart" of God has become a symbol of His promises to me, of His faithfulness and grace and ever-watching eye over me.
In His fun nature and grace, He sends me these Heart Hugs just when I need them, never when I ask for them, so I have stopped asking. Instead, I worship. I surrender. I trust. He sends His hearts when He knows I need them.
Here's one I found while snorkeling....
I choose to live every day in gratitude and grace. He is my very breath. My Living Water to quench my thirst, hydrate my dry bones. My Daily Bread satisfying my hunger for life. He is my Peace. He is Perfect Love that casts out fear, whom shall I fear?!?
Friend, God LOVES YOU, SEES YOU, HEARS YOU, and He is certainly NEAR, this I know!!!!
Won't you seek the "heart" of God today and ask Him to show it to you in a way that is undeniably Him. Over these many years, God has allowed me to encourage others and share His hope through Hearts From God and I love hearing stories about hearts He shows others which some may not be hearts, but other symbols between them nd their Prince of Peace and Great I Am.
Fear Not! Believe and trust that He is near, because He is!!!
"Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the LORD.
Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the LORD." Jeremiah 23:24
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Wow, it's been over 14 years....if I am being honest, that fact alone makes me both angry with myself yet so grateful to be here in this blessing of hope and healing, in the overcoming of fear, anxiety, insecurity and less-than-the-bless.
The very things I thought I would never do, I am. What I thought wasn't for me, was. I have never been so glad to be so wrong in all my life!
Read more...
Do you ever feel like every thought you have is a wrestling match of good vs bad? You are afraid yet confident...excited but terrified? Anticipating yet avoiding?!? Or is it just me!?!
God is faithful and uses our tests for testimonies if we let go of fear and pride to let Him use us!! In the beginning of your personal development journey, you realize how much you don't realize about your thoughts. As much as a positive thinker I am, I have allowed fear to set up an ocean of fear that my thoughts soak in. I assumed I was just a worrier. I assumed I was just cautious. It wasn't until I began learning I could discipline and cleanse my body and my mind, renewing it day by day, in faith, with grace, through Love.
It begins with prayer. Asking and Seeking His presence first of your day, throughout your day, as you laid down your head. In our prayers, affirming Who He is as our Father and Friend. It is confessing your fears and doubts and releasing them from your control, turning them over to His control. It's adoration, sitting in worship and gratitude.
When we set our minds on things from above, our hearts and faith strengthen.
Since this learning, I am constantly soaking my thoughts in the deep living waters of faith. This is where I have found peace and joy.
There is no depth too deep, shoreline too far or hug of God too far from you. He hears you and sees you because He loves you so very much and nothing can separate you from His Sweet Love!
Fear IS a trap!
Fear IS isolating!
Fear IS suffocating!
Fear IS weakening!
Fear IS minimizing!
Faith IS strengthening!!
Faith IS plentiful!!
Faith IS reaching!!
Faith IS embolding!!
Faith conquers Fear!
Walk by FAITH, do not fear!
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”
â€â€Genesis‬ â€50:20-21‬ â€ESV‬‬
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Today's blog is a personal story about overcoming insecurities and finding peace and strength through faith. I pray it reminds you that we can find refuge in God and that we should not hide ourselves in the world. It encourages us to be courageous in our beliefs and to spread genuine, transforming love wherever we go. Remember, with our hearts held by God's, we can overcome anything.
Read more...
