As an introvert, annnndd if you struggle with insecurity, doesn’t mean you have to skip out on socials and events. Let's Chat....grab your coffee...it's Sister Time.
I used to avoid going anywhere alone, especially if it was new to me, even if it was an event at my own church. I didn’t wanna show up into the unknown. Not knowing who would be there or what to expect! I missed out on a LOT of love and experiences until I learned it was a good idea to buddy up and not miss out on what could be a blessing!!
With time and healing and some awesome Sisters to be my Event Buddy, I learned to be courageous and confident enough to go out alone. ALONE! It feels embarrassing to say that because soooo many people don't even think twice about going places alone....not sure whether to blame shyness, insecurity, fear...but I blame the enemy.
I used to sit in the shame and feeling less-than-ness. Because I was feeling small in my shyness and introvertedness, I saw myself as boring and lacking. I wanted so badly to be fearless, vivacious, fun and extroverted but it wasn't me and trying to be was soooo draining and exhausted me. Knowing it would take so much energy to "keep up" I mostly chose to stay home.
Now, all these years later, I have since hosted events, and plan to do more, mindful of people who are scared to be there just like old me! Funny how God works!!! Sure, depending on the event, I get butterflies, but it's not fear based.
Whether it's with a Friend, or by myself, I actually enjoy going out to new places, seeing new things, trying new things, walking in the anticipation God is revealing His glory to me, cuz He knows I can't help but shout out the praise and use it as an encouragement for someone else!
Some may call it a mid-life crisis when you see us over 50's stepping out and doing new things. I think it's more about mid-life crunch time...we recognize it's time to DO THE THINGS because we just sat through intermission and it's the 2nd Act and it's almost Finale time.
I don't want YOU missing out on timely appointments and enjoyments because you think you can't enjoy going! It's gonna take some time, but you can do this! If I can, YOU CAN! BUT GOD!!! This first time is an Overcoming Moment and it's gonna feel good to make it through without total anxiety. The next time you go, it's actually gonna be fun because your brain remembers the last one and you survived and thrived! From now on, you are going with chin up, eyes wide open, eager to meet God there.
The most important thing I came to realize was it wasn't always about me. Fear and insecurity keeps us focused on ourselves whereas love and blessing focuses us on others. So now, before I go anywhere, alone or with a whole group, I am praying for the Lord to lead me and give me opportunity to be a blessing there. It helps my heart and mind to stay in eager anticipation to listen and look for God's direction.
Do I still have a good time when I am focused on others? Yes. The possibility to be used by God is exciting! Now, I love going places and meeting people. I am still an introvert so, after so many people, I do need some quiet space to recharge! Experiencing events without the complete freak out overwhelm is so much fun!!! You ready?!?
Here are a few quick tips to get you going places in peace and courage:
PRAYER! Ask Him to lead you. Also, guard your energy before and during with Prayer. Deep breathes, enjoy conversations that uplift and bring you joy. Move away from the drama if you walk up on it or if you begin feeling depleated. Sometimes a little bathroom break or stepping outside for a minute helps with that fresh breath.
Look for ways to volunteer beforehand if it’s an event of any kind. Otherwise, walk around or stand in the back, look for ways to help serve, greet or help others.
If you are still needing a Buddy, Get One!! Invite a buddy so attention can be deflected as needed. Be sure to let your friend know your level of anxiety or nervousness so they can step in if they see you struggle with words or energy. If I find myself with someone who talks non-stop, plus it is negative chatter, it's like someone has pulled out my battery's drain plug. I deplete quick. I also don't last long with surface conversations. I can manage for a bit if it's relative, but otherwise, I try my best to move along.
No sugars or caffeine’s that day (or few days before) that fire up your adrenals - instead camomile tea and be sure to stay onto of your vitamins. There are great supplements you can take too. Just message me.
Lavender oil is always good to have on you as well as inhaling the hour before, and during! I use diffuser bracelets too.
Worship the Lord with every breath and count your blessings in that moment! Continually praise and say Thank you Lord for...
Stay in the moment. Look for ways to distract your mind if it becomes anxious and serve in some way. Something as simple as holding a door or saying words of affirmation over another person. Anything that turns your brain from fret to bless! This is when you ask God show you where to go from here.
Don’t miss out on life. Open up and release the fear of the unknown, fear of rejection. Trust and Faith. You only get one life, so LIVE IT!! Do not let fear steal moments, steal blessings.
Sister, remember this, it's not always about YOU! Perhaps the Lord has invited YOU into this space to bless someone else, to be His hands, heart and feet to someone else. Don't miss out on those Divine Appointments and Enjoyments! Walk with eager anticipation! He's Got you!!!
It's Time!! Let's Go in Love and Faith!!! He is able to do exceedingly more than you can imagine! And you know what else, YOU are a blessing to those you will meet too! And when you bless, you receive too! I am so proud of you already! I hope one day to cross paths with you at an event! We will have so much fun in the back row, TOGETHER but who knows, maybe we will end up on the dance floor!
Hugs, High 5's and Blessings!
Yo Big Sister Shell
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or drop a Hello in the socials!! Feel free to share with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
While it could be a whole Encyclopedia, here's a little Guide with things I have
implemented since 2009 to help me live a life of greater Peace and Joy..
Heart Hugs and Blessings,