I've worn many masks in my life, and I am not referring to the wrap around you ears kind, rather the one that covered my full face. A carefully place smile framed by perfectly placed hair and make up.
For years, I perfected the art of the "I'm fine" smiling mask. It was my shield, my armor against the world. I'd polish it daily, ensuring no cracks showed through. After all, I was the strong one, the reliable one, the one who had it all together. I was the Mom who was always joyfully present, The Encourager, Leader and Friend who didn't appear to have a need of her own and Volunteer, who seemingly checked all the boxes.
Leadership is a funny thing. We are just as courageous, bold, faithful, confident, as we are not. As we pour ourselves out as leaders in our homes, workplace, church, etc, the enemy can slowly tempt us into busying ourselves in the growing & going, we don't allow space for personal pouring in to. We so desperately need to be led & fed too. We can buy into the false belief that independence from needing others represents weighted faith value and leadership qualification, it doesn't.
Independence without community is isolation. When the enemy isolates us, he sets traps around us that look like they are keeping us safe when in fact, the Word tells us exactly what he is up to in John 10:10...division.
I poured myself into others, thinking if I could just make everyone else happy, maybe I'd find happiness too. It surely is more blessed to give than receive. I did. I did receive such blessings in watching God move. I listened to their troubles, interceded, and gave the same advice, I myself, needed to hear... but I wasn't listening to me. I took it all to Jesus, which we should, but we also need our people.
All the while, that smile never faltered.
I was happy, ish.
I was lonely, ish.
I was empty, ish.
Masks, no matter how well-crafted, eventually crack when we grow so dehydrated on the inside. The older the glue underneath, the longer it takes txobreak it off BUT GOD...He is a Mighty Craftsman and Great Physician.
God gathered my many pleas, and He brought me to a wilderness season of a 1:1 time with Him. Eventually, the mask came off, once shattered piece at a time.
My mask was off. I was free. To my surprise, the world didn't end and neither did my leading, in fact, those shattered pieces became the building blocks for my now ministry. As I shared my struggles, others shared theirs. The walls I'd built to protect myself became bridges connecting me to others who were secretly struggling with perfectionism, insecurity, and aching hearts. Beauty from the ashes came forth.
I learned authenticity isn't weakness—it's courage in its purest form. I boast in my weakness so God gets all the glory! It's not always others who put leaders on pedestals, sometimes we put ourselves up there next to all our Checked Boxes. Yes, we are blessed, but will you be brave enough to also admit you're stressed? Will your smile whisper, Pray for me today, as I am also praying for you.
Leading Sis, I know you're strong. I know you have all the highlighted answers. I know you don't want to burden those you are facing, but I invite you, challenge you, encourage you, to take off the mask and show yourself. Better a real smile traced by tears than a fake one full of hallow hope.
Those entrusted to our circle of influence are looking to us to be sharpened and glean wisdom from in every season. Seeing you in every season is healing and helping, drawing all hearts to The Father. And for you, I see you, hiding behind your own mask and you don't need to. Your blessings and your struggles are valid. Your feelings matter. No one is "okay" all the time. We can be content and still crushed.
Find those who God has set in your life to be YOUR Encourager, YOUR trusted Sister, YOUR Titus 2 older Sis.
You need a "you" too.
Ask, Seek and Find. We need our 4 Corner, Mat carrying, Arm Lifting friends on weary days.
Let others see what grace looks like when it smiles. Share your blessings, and your burdens. Allow yourself to be loved and supported, not for the person you pretend to be, but for who you truly are, just you live in this example for those entrusted to your leadership.
There's strength in vulnerability, healing in honesty, freedom in authenticity and redemption in confession. Your heart matters. Your health matters. It's time to let the mask fall and embrace the beautiful, complexity of sufficient grace and iron sharpening circles, inside and outside our influence.
Remember, in a world of filters, your ability to show up with genuine smile of grace, surrender and trust, is the most beautiful thing!
If you are stepping into Leadership for the first time, I'd love to connect with you and be a Big Sis for you.
If you're a Leader looking for a Sister Friend, I'd love to connect with you too!
Smile Sis!
He holds everything together!! Col 1:17, even YOU!!!
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
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