I created Livin' Where Faith Is as an Anonymous Authored blog in 2009 as a diary of sorts. I was a Mom of 4 kiddos, feeling stressed out most days yet sooo blessed every day to be doing what I loved : Being a Mom! I love my Mom and she has always been a great example to me so my starting point was personal experience.
I am a shy introverted girl who has struggled nearly her whole life with fear and insecurity. Bubbly, yes. Friendly, yes...but very guarded. Being raised as a Southern Girl, you learned manners early on, to always be polite, don't argue with people and be aware of the bad guys because they are everywhere. Early on I learned to wear a mask of Kindness. As I grew into pre teen years, acne and braces happened which dd not help my dumbo sized ears in middle school. I hid adding one mask after another for each insecurity and fear. The weight of the masks didn't feel heavy at all. In fact, it was the comfort of a weighted blanket that covered me.
Until God started stirring up the winds in my sails. While there were waves always rolling, I rolled with them. The first gust was in Belize, January 2008, when my hubby and I were on a SCUBA dive about 30 feet under and I couldn't breathe and I felt nauseous. I assumed we had left too soon after breakfast. I ascended to the boat and was done for the weekend. .That may have been the case.
The next big gust 6 months later was in some Texas Caverns where half way down the air was dense and I felt like I couldn't breathe again. I went back out the way we came in and the hubs continued on with the kids. Aware of my anxieties, I was able to hide behind the Daddy Will Take You mask, for roller coasters and all things adrenaline.
I began to Google Altitude Sickness and most of the signs were there. So I decided my body had altitude issues and got easily stressed by depths.
Six months after the caverns, we found ourselves exploring The Hoover Dam in Vegas. The thought of going miles underground was not something I wanted to do but the hubs did. I really didn't think I was claustrophobic, hadn't had to know that before, so the attendant said I would probably be okay. I wanted to be brave so I went.
Long story short, it was horrible and I left. It was a gust that began a terrible storm. Surviving that storm and walking on the shorelines of Peace and Grace and Freedom is what Living Where Faith Is all about. Learning how to walk by FAITH and not by sight, learning to walk by FAITH. Learning that life behind a mask is not actually a comfort zone. Working out that being quiet and striving for acceptance, focusing on everyone else's needs and ignoring your own are destroying you and not keeping you safe from harm that you believe they should.
So afraid to be rejected because of my appearance, so afraid to be rejected for being the dumb blonde, so afraid of not being a good enough Mother and not feeling like a good enough wife, shying away from allowing people i...this was my heart's hustle. So shackled to fear...I think God couldn't take it anymore and He shook the ground underneath me, literally that day at the Hoover Dam, to begin releasing the grip fear had.
Of course, there were many years of layered of masks and to this day, I am still peeling them back one at a time. I had always loved doodling and writing and I felt the Lord lead me to the computer to start journaling by way of a blog post. Blogging back in 2009 wasn't what it is today. I was learning how to not be perfect, to have a voice, to walk by faith and fee free in me, as me. So I started typing out awarenesses and hope and encouragement as a place I could reference back to for positive encouragements and prayed that while I told no one about the blog, God would send women to it who needed to be seen, heard and encouraged too. He did.
Livin' Where Faith Is is the safe place I escaped into to hide behind the screen and learn to share my story. I am not sure which came first, me finding my voice which led to my power or my power that led to my voice. It's been a journey of refining, learning, transforming and sharing.
For years friends have told me I should publish my blogs, write a book, join Proverbs 31 as a writer. I have been told I was the next Beth Moore to take a stage and inspire women at events. Now, yeeeaaarsssss later, I am showing up stepping into deeper trust and surrender to whatever He has for me. I don't feel led to follow the footsteps of Beth Moore and teach Bible study but I do have a desire to see women rise up out of insecurity and walk confidently and bolding, removing one mask at a time to be free within themselves and in this world as the beautiful created women God made them to be.
God has come to set the captives free and we have that right to be free indeed because of the gracious blood of Jesus, the One and Only Son of God who came to this Earth in human form, died to pay the penalty of sin for every person and rose again out of the grave just as we can too when we trust and depend on the name of Jesus to cover us, to be the only covering mask to protect us. HE is our ComfortZone.
Thank you for stopping by and God Bless you if you read all the way through to hear my heart story. Speaking of Hearts, if you want to know the story about how Hearts From God began a few months after the blogging began in 2009, you can hop over to the tab About these Hearts and read some of that story too
Hugs, Grace, Freedom and Blessings!!!
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Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
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