I used to believe I had to be perfect….especially when I stepped into Church Leadership.
We believe that in order to be “really” used by God spiritually helping people that we have to be perfect & qualified.
That perfection looked like:
- not sharing bad days with others
- keeping my questions and opinions to myself in fear of being wrong, rejected or seen as unqualified
- stuffing “negative” feelings- anything less than happy, so my fears, hurts, anxiety, questions, etc)
- saying yes to everything even if I didn’t want to
- quadruple checking and questioning things I created or decided
- avoiding stepping into new things
- constantly checking myself against The Greats in Women’s Ministry left to be equally motivated/inspired AND not enough/no place for me vs seeking validation and confirmation from God in the place He currently had me while learning from and appreciating the examples He gave me to move my soul to lead
- staying in the back, on the bench, called to Coach but sitting in the stands clapping to feel a part of the role even if it wasn’t me
- constant focus on outward appearance (body/mind/spirit) to have best/perfect foot forward
- living a life of expectations vs authentic excellence- being the best I was, as I was, a sinner saved by grace
- grace for others…period.
Here’s how I broke perfectionism:
- Surrendering self and living according to His power, truth, grace, strength, purpose, knowing He will equip you as you go!
- Recognize and admit ALL have sinned and are saved by GRACE, Not BY WORKS should anyone boast…we are all THE SAME!!! No one is perfect!!!!
- Let those who inspire you, move and mentor you. Do not allow the enemy to take what God meant for good and use it to harm you and destroy you by accepting its lie. Titus 2 is gleaning from one another to edify and build up His Glory in us and through us! Let’s sharpen each others iron with fire!!!
- saying No to the things not for me
- Love! Perfect love cast out fear! Stop fearing what “man” may say and ask what does God have to say?!?
- Fight with His armor and not your bare hands
- Pray, worship, serve and live from His heart pouring out thru yours and understand you will make mistakes and it’s okay!!!!!! It’s oohhkkaaayyy!! There’s gonna be trials, pruning and refining. It’s how we grow in grace!!
- Be YOU!!! Pray and ask for a Sister Squad that is safe for you to share your life with - good, bad, ugly and trust them with your heart knowing these gifts are from God.
Perfectly Imperfect!!! You may think you’re living a life of freedom trying your best be perfect but you are not! Your anxiety and exhaustion are calling it out!! Let it go!!!
If you were perfect….
You wouldn’t need Jesus.
There’s that!! 
Was this is helpful to you?!? Now….GO BE FREEEEEE as you are created to be!!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Hey Hey College Kid Mama!!!
Can you even believe our baby is going to college?!? ME EITHER!!!
We raise them to go and when it's time for them to go, we sit in angst AND anticipation, sadness AND joy....it is a weird place to be! As a Mom of 4, I have now sent 3 of my 4 kids to college but this 3rd kiddo was the first one to live on campus, so it was a whole learning for all of us.
We wanted to share some of our favorite things she chose and we loved for Dorm Life Things! As we learn more tips n tricks, we will pop back here and add some more wisdom and items as the semesters roll through.
We live in a small town so most of our shopping had to be done online and mostly through Amazon, so we are sharing her affiliate link for the things we loved and NOT all the things we returned! There were sooooo many things.
Hope this helps you too!
Easy Mix In for those anxious days! So easy to sprinkle into water, tea or juice!TIP:
It's invisible and so great for anxious days, especially the first month, test weeks, etc. I have some at home for me too!
Juice Mix In! Electrolytes & Energy! Since she doesn't drink coffee and doesn't care for other mixes
TIP:
Easily mix into water or OJ. Easy to toss into her backpack for the mid-day pick up too! This will help lesson the quick Soda grab!
A Great Starter Kit She will keep this in her car when she travels home.
TIP:
This is great for a Basic Kit for in their dorm and to take with them in the car for road trips home or to remote sites for Field Days. No need to have to run into the Nurse or RA Station for quick fixes.
Cooling Mattress Topper for the very uncomfortable dorm mattresses
TIP:
Definitely invest in a good mattress topper! Other people told us that too and they were right! This one is so comfy and good quality!
You will want to open it before you get to the dorm so it can open up and air out. We wrapped it back up like a sleeping bag - go ahead and place the fitted sheet and top sheet on it, flip it upside-down and roll it up! It's easier with 2 people to help smoosh it! Then, we "tied it" with some packing tape, or if you have 2 belts, one on each end...then tucked it inside a trash bag to easily toss in the car! Don't forget to add the pillow case cover to the bag too!
Clean Air in the Room with these quiet filters AND it has a little aroma oil pad to add your favorite oils!
I blogged about the value of a diffuser here.
Rolling Laundry Basket!!! If their wash is not on the same floor, wheels make it so much easier to get it done!
TIP:
Buy a little Tupperware dispenser like for salad dressing, or a type of canteen so they can have. small container of the liquid detergent and not carry a big heavy one!
Here's a few others...
Remember LESS REALLY IS MORE! Some people go all out on Dorm Decor, and that's great if your Teen feels it creates more of a peaceful and personals peace for them to relax. It's a great reminder that with most colleges, your kiddos moves out each year and moving in the heat of Summer when they just want to get home can be exhausting having to pack up all the little things that collected over the year. Now, if your teen has an apartment where they are not moving out each Summer, it would be make more sense to invest in more furniture and decor. it really is a personal decision! For us, while I loooooove design, I also live practically, so do my kiddos it seems,
No matter, enjoy the journey of letting them create the space in a way that makes sense to them. This is their new Home away from Home! HUGS MAMA!!! I know it's exciting AND hard. You've done your part to train them up for this. Continue to pray for them and be their biggest fan.
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Have you seen the movie Runaway Bride? Ohhhh how this movie spoke to me back in the day to help me see myself and take action on finding me. I grew up for lack of a better term people-pleasing but I didn't see it in that light. My heart's motive was fitting in, more than seeking approval or acceptance. I was one to automatically discount myself so being qualified wasn't even an option really. I just didn't want to draw attention to myself.
For most of my life, I lived genuine to myself, I genuinely lived who I thought I needed to be. What I have learned is discovering your spiritual gifts is a personal and ongoing journey and it begins with realizing you have them too, just like everyone else and they are to be shared with others. It is not prideful (unless that's your heart) to acknowledge them and share them...we were created as part of a whole...they are necessary to acknowledge, develop and share!!
And here's the things, your "gift" will look different than the same "gift" with another. In all of our uniqueness, God didn't set out Gifts in a Box and pass them out when we were born. We each have a unique, one of a kind gift! When I finally let that sink in, it unlocked a lot of freedom in my heart!
Here are some steps to help you identify and understand your spiritual gifts:
- Prayer: Matthew 6:33! Begin by seeking God's design and blessing of who He created and equipped you to be. Ask Him to reveal your spiritual gifts and to provide you with wisdom and discernment as you explore your strengths and abilities. It's tempting to go to the Googles, but let's search God before Google!
- Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your interests, passions, and the activities that bring you joy. Consider moments when you felt a deep sense of fulfillment or when you made a positive impact on others. These can be indicators of your spiritual gifts.
- Spiritual Gift Assessments: Use tools and assessments designed to help identify spiritual gifts. Many churches offer resources or classes that guide individuals through the process of discovering their gifts. Online assessments are also available, although they should be viewed as a starting point rather than a definitive answer.
- Seek Feedback: Ask friends, family, and fellow believers for their observations. Sometimes, others can see strengths and gifts in us that we might not recognize in ourselves. Pay attention to the ways people ask you for advice or help.
- Study God's Word: Explore relevant Bible passages that discuss spiritual gifts, such as Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12-14, and Ephesians 4. Understanding the biblical teachings on spiritual gifts can provide insight into your part of the Whole and help you courageously step into them without fearing being something your not!
- Experiment: Be open to trying new things within the church or community. Volunteer for different roles, participate in various ministries, and see where you feel most connected and effective.
- Evaluate Results: Pay attention to the outcomes and affirmations. If you find joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose in a particular area, it may be an indication of a spiritual gift at work. take it to God and ask Him to help you grow!
- Be Patient: Discovering your spiritual gifts is a process that takes time. Be patient and allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life. Your understanding of your gifts evolve over time.
- Volunteer: Engage with your church community and participate in group activities. Sometimes, working alongside others can help you discover how your gifts complement theirs, helping you see the part you are as part of the whole.
- Mentorship: Seek guidance from mentors or spiritual leaders who can provide insights and share their own experiences in discovering and using spiritual gifts.
Remember, discovering your spiritual gifts is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of walking out, refining and learning to use the gifts and talents has given to you! Stay connected to God through prayer and study, and surrender to the ways He may be leading you to use your gifts for HIS glory, your blessing and the blessing of others.
You are fearfully, beautifully and wonderfully made Sister Friend! Never discount Who You are!!!!
Hugs & love,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Have you ever felt like you woke up in to a Valley Season? You feel disconnected? Like an echo chamber surrounds you? I sure have and I imagine I am not the only one. When find ourselves in those valley seasons – those moments where it seems like we're in the middle of nowhere, alone and questioning our purpose. As Christian women, these times may feel isolating, but let's take a moment to reframe our perspective.
The enemy would like us to think we're being punished by God or that we've done something wrong. He's clever like that. When we live our life in Love, Love hopes. I think in our busy world, sometimes we need to get alone with God, like really get alone and if we don't choose to sit with Him, He will be seeking intentional one-on-one times with us. God places us in these quiet spaces not to distance us but to draw us closer to Him. In the stillness of the valley, there are conversations that can only happen there when we are left undistracted by all the other things.
The enemy whisper lies, convincing us that we've been left in a desolate place. But that's far from the truth. In those moments of solitude, we are never truly alone. God orchestrates these seasons so that we can hear His voice more clearly and yes, sometimes those places look like pits, caves, ocean waters and valleys.
So, what happens when we find ourselves in these valley seasons, and what are the benefits and blessings that accompany them?
Our valleys are not comparable to others'. Each person's journey is unique, and the duration of these seasons may vary. Whether it takes a short while or an extended period, there's no right or wrong timeframe. Remember, even the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years.
As we sit in these moments, it's essential to take a deep breath and intentionally look for God, otherwise you're going to curl up and fall back. I believe this is one of the gateways into depression. We are taken back and instead of taking a deep breath, we freak out and begin to scramble to understand and when we don't understand or don't see a way out, we panic and when we panic, we exhaust ourselves treading water. If we don't recognize His hand reaching for us, we will sink in the shifting sands.
I believe this is also where having Heart Sisters near is crucial in our lives. I think more of us would need less therapy if we had more trusted friends to do life with. There is definitely a place for therapy, so don't hear that wrong. But so often us Introverts are stuffers. We just don't talk about the hard moments becuase it's exhausting and we'd rather conserve energy...but the reality is it takes a ton of energy to stuff our thoughts and feelings. We were created for community! We need each other. It's how Titus 2 and iron sharpening iron relationships happen.
Sister, you are not alone. Once you realize this is what's happening, take a deep breath and exhale all the unknowings, breath back in the Peace of His Presence. Say to the Lord, "Here I am." These heart-to-heart conversations may be hard, the time in the wilderness may feel dry and vast, take comfort, He is near.
For those of us who tend to be "wall builders," guarding our hearts, it might take some time to settle into the awkward silence, the sudden stillness. Resist the temptation to compare your journey with others, and instead, focus on seeking God's heart.
In these moments, discipline your heart, mind, and soul to sit still and let God draw you close. These are the moments of pruning, refining, and teaching, but they are also moments of being held, loved, and refilled with God's goodness.
If you ever find yourself questioning why you're in a valley season, remember this: you haven't done anything wrong. Rather, you've been blessed with a quiet season, a moment in time when God desires your undivided attention. Embrace these moments, seek Him, and let Him reveal His heart to you.
Remember, He sees you, He hears you, He's near, and most importantly, He loves you. Embrace the quiet, for in those moments, you'll find renewal, strength, and a deeper connection with your loving Father snd Forever Friend.
Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.
In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.
The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.
Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Today, if only you would hear his voice,
Psalm 95: 1-7
All the hugs and Love,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Me? An Introvert?!? SHY?!? Insecure?!? Anxious?!? Exhausted!?! Perfectionist!?! Well, yes indeed. I was! Well, I am STILL and Introvert, lol. I love people but I need my space too, especially after Peopling for a while.
When I tell people I am shy by nature, they don't believe me. When I tell them I struggled with insecurity, they don't believe that either, or that I was anxious or could ever have had panic attacks. Welp, it's all true. Healing is a powerful and transforming thing! Do I still have moments, sure...but it's not who I am anymore.
Thing is, people know us by what we show them. What I showed was what I wished I was....
I lived most of my life smiling and hugging. I genuinely love people and always see the good, but at the same time, I was always looking over my shoulder for the "bad guy." The older I got, the more attention I got from men whistling as I walked by or staring. These weren't compliments to me, these were the triggers of attention I didn't want.
When I was younger, I had severe cystic acne and would miss school because of it. When I was younger, I had bladder infections (UTI) and had to lay out on a table for examinations and Cath samples. When I was younger, I also got my finger caught in a door frame and I feared anyone ever holding my hand and noticing it. When I was younger, I witnessed horrible school yard fights and always felt vulnerable. When I was younger...I carried all this till I was older.
I learned how to build a wall to protect myself very early on. I learned how to keep my mouth closed and eyes down and not invite attention or draw attention to myself. This was how I learned to create my own little world of peace behind the wall fear and insecurity had built to protect me.
I lived inside this wall for years and years....like years! God gave me some wonderful friends and mentors, big sisters in the faith, to draw me out from behind that wall so He could do some breaking down of the wall fear had built. When God started to take down the wall, I didn't appreciate it! I felt so vulnerable. It was during this season God showed me His heart and asked me to trust His, to trust HE would be a Shield about me when the enemy threw his fiery darts and pushed in on thorns he could still see. It was NOT easy but it was beautiful.
I lived for so long being what I needed to be, I really didn't know me. It's been a journey of learning who I am and trusting God with my heart. Surrender is hard because it's not apathy, giving up or not caring. It's intentionality. It's humbling. It's trusting what you cannot see which why it takes trust and faith. This is why knowing Your Savior, The Great I Am, is so important. You cannot trust who you don't know. The more you know Him, the more you can trust Him and the more you trust Him, the easier the surrender.
Think about a child in the arms of a stranger vs parent....who can console her when she's scared or hurt? Who does she want to run to to show her favorite new toy or hold hands with to take a walk or go play with? The person who sees our heart, who knows us, who shows us loving care, is where we feel safe to be.
Today, I still have shyness, it's who I am by nature and I do get anxious nervous when my comfort zone issuing expanded and a new level is presented to step into, when it's a new person, place or things in my life but here's the thing...they aren't coming from fear. Fear is liar and his chains have been removed! BUT GOD! He has guarded my heart and mind for a long time now and my surrender and trust run deep. I rely on His leading, His wisdom, His way. So where He leads, I follow. My heart still races on some days, and the butterflies swarm in my chest...not gonna lie!
From hiding to highlighting, I choose to share authentically so others can be set free from fear too and live a life of freedom by faith! We cannot allow fear to keep our eyes down and hide us behind a wall. We were meant to SHINE our Lights and gather together as a city on a hill that others may come and see what The Lord has done, and is doing.
I thought I had to be an extrovert. I thought I had to have titles. I thought I had to be invited/recognized/approved. I thought I had to be perfect. I thought I had to settle for the back row. Come to find out, there's a whole ministry back here and I am here for it! In fact, I am creating it, just as I am as I sit here with my Father and Sweet Savior!
YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made, hemmed in, knitted together, raised up where you are for a purpose given to you, for such a time as this. You don't need validation to be brave and bold in God's Love. With Him, you have all you need for courage, freedom, peace and joy! Do you trust Him? Will you let Him lead you? Will you be courageously YOU and SHINE?!
Let's Do This Sisters! A cord of 3 is not easily broken. He has lifters for you. Ask, Seek and pray for Him to show you who they are. There's a flock, a tribe, of sisters waiting to rally with you! I am one of them!
I invite you to join my online Sister Community! I have asked God to take the reigns over there, so changes are coming and I am so excited for new doors to open!! Eyes, hands and heart OPEN! See ya there, or in here, either way, may the Lord meet you where you are and may you embrace His Heart for you too!!! He's Got You covered.
Big Hugs,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
