Wishing you had more friends? Feeling shy? Wishing you had more energy to have more friends? Wishing you felt like one of the cool kids too?!?
Insecurity is a thief! Shyness and insecurity robs us of joy, confidence, and the ability to have meaningful connections with others. This is especially hard when you are an Introvert, and even more so if you have dealt with anxiety. It takes real energy to put ourselves out there!
The fear of being judged, the fear of rejection and the constant comparison to others is exhausting! It leaves us paralyzed, hesitant to trust ourselves and, more importantly, hesitant to trust others. And let's get really real...when we don’t really like who we are, we assume others won’t either.
There's the bottom line of it all!! FEAR!!!
But God! We were created as a precious and important part of The Body. We need others in our life. How else will Titus 2 happen? How else will we mentor others and Go Therefore to disciple others?!? It begins with the hearts closest to you. For me, the key to making real friends and breaking free from "friendship-insecurity" was when I focused on trusting God’s heart first, to lead me to others He had prepared for me.
At the core, I think most of us who are shy or struggle with insecurity, need to look at our lack of trust—trust in ourselves, trust in others, and trust in God. When we anchor our trust in God, we build confidence and can embrace vulnerability with others. I knew I was a good friend to others...loyal and trustworthy. I just had a hard time sharing my own heart, out of fear.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Taking small, intentional steps toward vulnerability and openness feels scary but again, if we place our trust in God first, seek Him first, we can start practicing our vulnerability with Him which will help us do the same with others. The first friend you should have, after Jesus, of course, is yourself. I know that sounds weird and hard to do but it’s necessary!
I know! You don’t really like too much but that’s because you’ve listened too long to what the enemy has told you. You’re pretty cool actually and when you find your friend group, you’re gonna light up inside and feel blessed. You won’t feel the need to hide or filter your thoughts. That feels so good! Trust me!
Here are a few things to get started:
- Prayerful Reflection: Begin by seeking God. Ask for wisdom and discernment in understanding your own insecurities and how they impact your relationships.
- Scriptural Assurance: Trust God’s Word over you. Understanding that you are loved, valued, and protected. Lean into His friendship first.
- Community: Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can provide encouragement and accountability. Practice sharing your opinions and talents with a small group and allow God to expand your boundaries of friendships one person at a time.
As you begin to open up to others, here are some practical steps to develop trust with others:
- Invite God: Invite God into the relationship, whether it’s working, friends or intimate, inviting God to be part of the cord of three strands not easily broken is crucial for alignment and building trust.
- Open Communication: Share your thoughts and feelings with others, and encourage them to do the same. Transparency builds trust. Remember it should be 2 ways!
- Forgiveness: Understand none of us are perfect and misunderstandings will happen. Embrace a spirit of forgiveness, recognizing that forgiveness is a gift to yourself as much as it is to others. It allows relationships to heal and flourish.
- Celebrate Each Other's Journey: Instead of comparison, celebrate each of your unique journeys. Recognize that everyone has their own struggles and triumphs. You may be someone's answered prayer in friendship! Ever thought of that!?!
Breaking free from insecurity is a process. It's a personal development journey for sure! This all begins with trust— trusting God, trusting ourselves, and trusting others. By anchoring our relationships in the unwavering love of our Creator, we pave the way for meaningful, authentic connections.
With God as our BFF, we can overcome insecurities and experience the richness of genuine relationships.
It’s worth the time and energy to do the work necessary to open your heart! As an Introvert, you likely don’t want or need a ton of friends and that’s okay! But we do need some to do life with. Pray for those iron sharpeners whom you can trust with your heart and watch your heart overflow and wash away shyness one heart hug at a time!
I am excited to be your friend!! If you are looking for a group of other shy Sisters, meet us over in the ButGodSisterSquad.com
Big Heart Hugs,
Your New Friend,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
In the fast-paced world we live in, full of shiny objects and options, it's easy for the mind to become a battleground of overthinking, anxiety, and fear. For Christian women, it's so important be aware of the tendency to overanalyze situations, anticipate problems, and dwell on negative outcomes so we don't give the enemy a foothold. Let's create a space for grace with these three practical steps that can help break the chains of overthinking...
Step 1: Let Go and Surrender
The foundation of overcoming overthinking lies in surrendering to faith. As a Christian woman, you are called to cast your anxieties on the Lord, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Embrace the truth that God is in control, and His plans are greater than any anxious thought. Begin each day with prayer, committing your worries to Him and seeking His guidance. Create a sacred space for quiet reflection, allowing God's peace to fill your heart and mind.
Step 2: Replace Negative Thoughts with God's Word
The power of Scripture can transform our thoughts and renewing our minds. Memorize and meditate on the scriptures, allowing them to replace negative thoughts with the promises of God. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Step 3: Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
When you feel yourself tempted to overthink, ground yourself in the present moment. Pat attention to your thoughts and where they begin shifting into a negative space. Take deep breaths and focus on the beauty of the present moment, engaging al the senses.
Sit in gratitude. Give thanks for the blessings in your life. A heart filled with gratitude cannot be consumed by overthinking. As the Apostle Paul encourages in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
The enemy would love for you to be consumed with overthinking and keep your mind swirling! BUT GOD!!!! He is not the God of chaos!
As a Christian woman, you have the armor to guard your heart and mind, God's Word, and gratitude to overcome it. By surrendering your over abundance and swirly thoughts to God, replacing negative thoughts with His promises, and practicing mindfulness and gratitude, you will break free from the shackles of overthinking and experience the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Embrace the present moments, making the wisest decision you know how to and release it to The Lord, walking confidently in the assurance that you are held in His loving hands.
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Hey Shy Introvert Sister!!! I want you to know I see you and understand you! It's so weird that while we may feel especially shy in some areas of our life, we aren't in other areas. I've been thinking about it a lot lately asking myself WHY do I feel so shy but not always...I am looking more into this "shyness" and bringing it to the Lord...As it feels right now, here are some of the fears you may have.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- Fear of Judgment:
- Worrying about how others will perceive you and fearing potential criticism or negative judgment
- Fear of Rejection:
- Concerns about being excluded, ignored, or not accepted by others
- Social Anxiety:
- Feeling anxious or uncomfortable in social situations, especially when interacting with new people or groups (this is why I love the buddy system!)
- Fear of Making Mistakes:
- Perfectionist tendencies may contribute to a fear of making mistakes or not meeting self-imposed high standards
- Fear of Failure:
- Anxiety about not succeeding or meeting expectations, leading to a fear of failure and its potential consequences when a mistake happens
- Fear of Being the Center of Attention:
- Shy introverts may feel uneasy about being in the spotlight or drawing attention to themselves
- Overthinking:
- Tendency to overanalyze situations, anticipate potential problems, and dwell on negative outcomes, which can contribute to anxiety (yep!!!!)
- Lack of Confidence:
- Low self-confidence and self-esteem can lead to fears of not being capable or competent in the new endeavor
- Fear of Unfamiliar Environments:
- Anxiety about navigating new or unfamiliar environments, interacting with new people, or dealing with unknown situations
- Fear of Being Misunderstood:
- Fear saying the wrong thing and feeling discounted; freezing/overwhlem and not being able to think straight
- Concerns about Exhaustion:
- Worrying about the potential drain on energy from social interactions or new experiences, which can be especially taxing for introverts
- Fear of Commitment:
- Apprehension about committing to something new, whether it's a project, relationship, or social event, due to concerns about not being able to perfectly handle the associated responsibilities and expectations
- Fear of Loss of Control:
- Anxiety about not having control over a situation, especially when faced with uncertainty or unpredictability
- Fear of Disapproval from Authority Figures:
- Shy introverts may fear disapproval or criticism from authority figures, such as supervisors or mentors, which can hinder their willingness to take on new challenges
While some of these things would be true for every heart centered person who genuinely cares about the things they do, being shy brings a level of misconnection when our shyness keeps us in these spaces.
When we can begin to recognize ourselves thinking and behaving this way, it's then we can begin to choose courage instead. I've learned a lot about neuroplasticity the past few years and the importance of personal development, growing in emotional intelligence and confidence.
As a Christ Follower, we are strengthened not only in walking in faith but God gave us each other, to sharpen each other's armor, carry each other's corner of the mat and walk through a split sea with!
Grab a friend and walk out this shyness by stretching your comfort zone.
One of the first things I began doing was looking up when I walked into a room and not look down at the floor. I also made the habit of saying Hi to every person my path crossed in public, church, wherever! Not only did I want to push my comfort zone, I wanted the other person to feel seen, in a good way, not in a weird way...but in the way I wish I was seen.
You are more than a conqueror and just remember, no one is asking you to be someone you're not. God gives all of us different personalities and learning styles. We each have. special role in The Body, in The World to serve and do out part. Whoever you are created to be...be HER!! Unafraid!!! Bold & Brave!! Not loud....loving!!!
Blessings,
Your Big Sister Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
I used to believe I had to be perfect….especially when I stepped into Church Leadership.
We believe that in order to be “really” used by God spiritually helping people that we have to be perfect & qualified.
That perfection looked like:
- not sharing bad days with others
- keeping my questions and opinions to myself in fear of being wrong, rejected or seen as unqualified
- stuffing “negative” feelings- anything less than happy, so my fears, hurts, anxiety, questions, etc)
- saying yes to everything even if I didn’t want to
- quadruple checking and questioning things I created or decided
- avoiding stepping into new things
- constantly checking myself against The Greats in Women’s Ministry left to be equally motivated/inspired AND not enough/no place for me vs seeking validation and confirmation from God in the place He currently had me while learning from and appreciating the examples He gave me to move my soul to lead
- staying in the back, on the bench, called to Coach but sitting in the stands clapping to feel a part of the role even if it wasn’t me
- constant focus on outward appearance (body/mind/spirit) to have best/perfect foot forward
- living a life of expectations vs authentic excellence- being the best I was, as I was, a sinner saved by grace
- grace for others…period.
Here’s how I broke perfectionism:
- Surrendering self and living according to His power, truth, grace, strength, purpose, knowing He will equip you as you go!
- Recognize and admit ALL have sinned and are saved by GRACE, Not BY WORKS should anyone boast…we are all THE SAME!!! No one is perfect!!!!
- Let those who inspire you, move and mentor you. Do not allow the enemy to take what God meant for good and use it to harm you and destroy you by accepting its lie. Titus 2 is gleaning from one another to edify and build up His Glory in us and through us! Let’s sharpen each others iron with fire!!!
- saying No to the things not for me
- Love! Perfect love cast out fear! Stop fearing what “man” may say and ask what does God have to say?!?
- Fight with His armor and not your bare hands
- Pray, worship, serve and live from His heart pouring out thru yours and understand you will make mistakes and it’s okay!!!!!! It’s oohhkkaaayyy!! There’s gonna be trials, pruning and refining. It’s how we grow in grace!!
- Be YOU!!! Pray and ask for a Sister Squad that is safe for you to share your life with - good, bad, ugly and trust them with your heart knowing these gifts are from God.
Perfectly Imperfect!!! You may think you’re living a life of freedom trying your best be perfect but you are not! Your anxiety and exhaustion are calling it out!! Let it go!!!
If you were perfect….
You wouldn’t need Jesus.
There’s that!! 
Was this is helpful to you?!? Now….GO BE FREEEEEE as you are created to be!!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Hey Hey College Kid Mama!!!
Can you even believe our baby is going to college?!? ME EITHER!!!
We raise them to go and when it's time for them to go, we sit in angst AND anticipation, sadness AND joy....it is a weird place to be! As a Mom of 4, I have now sent 3 of my 4 kids to college but this 3rd kiddo was the first one to live on campus, so it was a whole learning for all of us.
We wanted to share some of our favorite things she chose and we loved for Dorm Life Things! As we learn more tips n tricks, we will pop back here and add some more wisdom and items as the semesters roll through.
We live in a small town so most of our shopping had to be done online and mostly through Amazon, so we are sharing her affiliate link for the things we loved and NOT all the things we returned! There were sooooo many things.
Hope this helps you too!
Easy Mix In for those anxious days! So easy to sprinkle into water, tea or juice!TIP:
It's invisible and so great for anxious days, especially the first month, test weeks, etc. I have some at home for me too!
Juice Mix In! Electrolytes & Energy! Since she doesn't drink coffee and doesn't care for other mixes
TIP:
Easily mix into water or OJ. Easy to toss into her backpack for the mid-day pick up too! This will help lesson the quick Soda grab!
A Great Starter Kit She will keep this in her car when she travels home.
TIP:
This is great for a Basic Kit for in their dorm and to take with them in the car for road trips home or to remote sites for Field Days. No need to have to run into the Nurse or RA Station for quick fixes.
Cooling Mattress Topper for the very uncomfortable dorm mattresses
TIP:
Definitely invest in a good mattress topper! Other people told us that too and they were right! This one is so comfy and good quality!
You will want to open it before you get to the dorm so it can open up and air out. We wrapped it back up like a sleeping bag - go ahead and place the fitted sheet and top sheet on it, flip it upside-down and roll it up! It's easier with 2 people to help smoosh it! Then, we "tied it" with some packing tape, or if you have 2 belts, one on each end...then tucked it inside a trash bag to easily toss in the car! Don't forget to add the pillow case cover to the bag too!
Clean Air in the Room with these quiet filters AND it has a little aroma oil pad to add your favorite oils!
I blogged about the value of a diffuser here.
Rolling Laundry Basket!!! If their wash is not on the same floor, wheels make it so much easier to get it done!
TIP:
Buy a little Tupperware dispenser like for salad dressing, or a type of canteen so they can have. small container of the liquid detergent and not carry a big heavy one!
Here's a few others...
Remember LESS REALLY IS MORE! Some people go all out on Dorm Decor, and that's great if your Teen feels it creates more of a peaceful and personals peace for them to relax. It's a great reminder that with most colleges, your kiddos moves out each year and moving in the heat of Summer when they just want to get home can be exhausting having to pack up all the little things that collected over the year. Now, if your teen has an apartment where they are not moving out each Summer, it would be make more sense to invest in more furniture and decor. it really is a personal decision! For us, while I loooooove design, I also live practically, so do my kiddos it seems,
No matter, enjoy the journey of letting them create the space in a way that makes sense to them. This is their new Home away from Home! HUGS MAMA!!! I know it's exciting AND hard. You've done your part to train them up for this. Continue to pray for them and be their biggest fan.
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
