Me? An Introvert?!? SHY?!? Insecure?!? Anxious?!? Exhausted!?! Perfectionist!?! Well, yes indeed. I was! Well, I am STILL and Introvert, lol. I love people but I need my space too, especially after Peopling for a while.
When I tell people I am shy by nature, they don't believe me. When I tell them I struggled with insecurity, they don't believe that either, or that I was anxious or could ever have had panic attacks. Welp, it's all true. Healing is a powerful and transforming thing! Do I still have moments, sure...but it's not who I am anymore.
Thing is, people know us by what we show them. What I showed was what I wished I was....
I lived most of my life smiling and hugging. I genuinely love people and always see the good, but at the same time, I was always looking over my shoulder for the "bad guy." The older I got, the more attention I got from men whistling as I walked by or staring. These weren't compliments to me, these were the triggers of attention I didn't want.
When I was younger, I had severe cystic acne and would miss school because of it. When I was younger, I had bladder infections (UTI) and had to lay out on a table for examinations and Cath samples. When I was younger, I also got my finger caught in a door frame and I feared anyone ever holding my hand and noticing it. When I was younger, I witnessed horrible school yard fights and always felt vulnerable. When I was younger...I carried all this till I was older.
I learned how to build a wall to protect myself very early on. I learned how to keep my mouth closed and eyes down and not invite attention or draw attention to myself. This was how I learned to create my own little world of peace behind the wall fear and insecurity had built to protect me.
I lived inside this wall for years and years....like years! God gave me some wonderful friends and mentors, big sisters in the faith, to draw me out from behind that wall so He could do some breaking down of the wall fear had built. When God started to take down the wall, I didn't appreciate it! I felt so vulnerable. It was during this season God showed me His heart and asked me to trust His, to trust HE would be a Shield about me when the enemy threw his fiery darts and pushed in on thorns he could still see. It was NOT easy but it was beautiful.
I lived for so long being what I needed to be, I really didn't know me. It's been a journey of learning who I am and trusting God with my heart. Surrender is hard because it's not apathy, giving up or not caring. It's intentionality. It's humbling. It's trusting what you cannot see which why it takes trust and faith. This is why knowing Your Savior, The Great I Am, is so important. You cannot trust who you don't know. The more you know Him, the more you can trust Him and the more you trust Him, the easier the surrender.
Think about a child in the arms of a stranger vs parent....who can console her when she's scared or hurt? Who does she want to run to to show her favorite new toy or hold hands with to take a walk or go play with? The person who sees our heart, who knows us, who shows us loving care, is where we feel safe to be.
Today, I still have shyness, it's who I am by nature and I do get anxious nervous when my comfort zone issuing expanded and a new level is presented to step into, when it's a new person, place or things in my life but here's the thing...they aren't coming from fear. Fear is liar and his chains have been removed! BUT GOD! He has guarded my heart and mind for a long time now and my surrender and trust run deep. I rely on His leading, His wisdom, His way. So where He leads, I follow. My heart still races on some days, and the butterflies swarm in my chest...not gonna lie!
From hiding to highlighting, I choose to share authentically so others can be set free from fear too and live a life of freedom by faith! We cannot allow fear to keep our eyes down and hide us behind a wall. We were meant to SHINE our Lights and gather together as a city on a hill that others may come and see what The Lord has done, and is doing.
I thought I had to be an extrovert. I thought I had to have titles. I thought I had to be invited/recognized/approved. I thought I had to be perfect. I thought I had to settle for the back row. Come to find out, there's a whole ministry back here and I am here for it! In fact, I am creating it, just as I am as I sit here with my Father and Sweet Savior!
YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made, hemmed in, knitted together, raised up where you are for a purpose given to you, for such a time as this. You don't need validation to be brave and bold in God's Love. With Him, you have all you need for courage, freedom, peace and joy! Do you trust Him? Will you let Him lead you? Will you be courageously YOU and SHINE?!
Let's Do This Sisters! A cord of 3 is not easily broken. He has lifters for you. Ask, Seek and pray for Him to show you who they are. There's a flock, a tribe, of sisters waiting to rally with you! I am one of them!
I invite you to join my online Sister Community! I have asked God to take the reigns over there, so changes are coming and I am so excited for new doors to open!! Eyes, hands and heart OPEN! See ya there, or in here, either way, may the Lord meet you where you are and may you embrace His Heart for you too!!! He's Got You covered.
Big Hugs,
Michele
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
In this blog post, the author reflects on the difference between being a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. They share their personal experience of being an avoider and how it affected their ability to handle conflict and confrontations. The author encourages shy and insecure individuals to find their voice and speak their truth, emphasizing that true peace is found in Jesus and His love. They highlight the importance of extending peace to others and embracing peace in our own lives. The author concludes by urging readers to stand firm, be courageous, and speak truth in love, quoting James 3:13, 17-18.
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At first, I thought it was possible altitude sickness or claustrophobia...
January 2008:
I struggled on one of our SCUBA dives in Belize which had a strong current that day
May 2008:
We were taking the kids to the Caverns outside Austin, Texas and half way though, I couldn't breathe in the humid air, saw one way out was through a small carved out hallway to finish the tour, the other was back up where I knew the path. Josh felt fine and finished the tour with the kids.
December 2008:
Toured the Hoover Dam in Vegas and from the moment we stepped on the crammed in like sardines elevator and into the cave below, it was overcome with not being able to breath and left the tour with some Angels unaware. A story for another time.
From that moment on, the breaths never returned to normal. A flip had been switched on inside me. It would be waves upon waves...eventually, we received the diagnosis "panic attacks."
“ME?!? NOT EVEN POSSIBLE” I thought....
Did I struggle with fear most of my life? Insecurity? Trust? Well, yes….
I am the most passive, peaceful and calm person you'll ever know. He replied, "For most people that's exactly true for them too."
This is the Silent Crisis Season where my tests created a new testimony of faith for me. It was in this season, I found God's Heart.
I just have to say, while the healing has come, PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY, HE gets ALL THE GLORY in my story, I have not been able to consider caverns since that weekend in 2008. I didn't want to trigger something old.
I had some of the same fears about cruising and God recently broke off those chains, story for another time. I knew GRACE and trust. I knew scary surrender. BUT GOD! It was beautiful!
Last week, I found myself 164 ft below ground in Virginia Caverns. WOW WOW WOW. I did it....no, GOD did it but I trusted His hold!!
Was it hard, sure. Healing is such a funny thing. Courage is such a complex thing.
I am FLAT OUT Grateful & Humble. His grace is sufficient. Trust me, oh have I pleaded over many things, many times. I have begged for less of me and more of Him. He has been so faithful.
This is Livin' Where Faith Is.
I am thankful for this season of writing to bring me back to hard seasons so I can stand in great awe of where He has brought me. I pray HE is glorified, seen and pleased. How I pray I serve Him well. My heart is all His as His is all mine.
Friend, God Loves You.
He sees you.
He hears you.
He is near.
He knooooooowssssss.......grace upon grace.
Here's me, somewhere 164 ft deep in gratitude in the Smoky Blue Ridge Mountains.....more videos to come, and an actual blog, likely an entire book! heehee
Glory to God in the Highest!!! The Great I Am, Healer and Protector of our Hearts.
What can YOU choose to face today? This week?!? Something you want to, but have been afraid to? Another one of mine is walking bridges...another is hiking...another is heights...being interviewed...hosting an event...publishing my book...even holding a chicken! Yep, I said it!
What about YOU!?! Get your worship joy ON!!!! Let's Go!!!!!
If today's encouragement hugged your HEART today, let me know in the comments or meet me over
in my Facebook Sisterhood Community! Feel free to share this blog with a friend who needs a heart hug too!
This is how YOU get to hug my HEART back!
Heart Hugs and Blessings,
Michele
Congratulations on your decision to embark on a journey of personal growth and development! This is a significant achievement, especially for those who have struggled with anxiety and insecurity. By trusting in yourself and in God, you are bravely setting aside your fears and pride to say, "Help Me Grow."
Starting off on this path may feel overwhelming and scary, but it is a normal part of the process. However, it's important to note that personal development is different from simply solving problems. It's about growth and learning, and sometimes this may be unfamiliar territory, especially if you are a stay-at-home mom. You may have approached learning as a means to fix things, but now it's about developing new skill sets and becoming a leader, even within your own home.
As you begin your personal development journey, it's common to feel both excited about the possibilities and humbled by how much you still have to learn. Unfortunately, this vulnerability can become a trigger for anxiety. The enemy will try to highlight your weaknesses and discourage you from growing closer to God. Insecurity may tell you that you're not ready or capable of leading, but remember that faith tells you that you are capable of doing all things with God by your side. Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the willingness to act despite it.
To navigate this journey, here are a few steps you can take: First, acknowledge that feeling nervous is a natural part of growth. Trust that God will provide what you need, whether it's building up or tearing down. Second, surrender control and understand that it's okay to be scared. Cast your cares on God and ask for His strength and guidance. Third, surround yourself with like-minded individuals who can offer support and accountability. Lastly, evaluate your environment and be mindful of the influences around you, as what you listen to can impact your personal development.
Remember that personal growth is a continuous process, and there will always be new challenges as you continue to learn and develop. Embrace the grace in the hard times and avoid getting swept away by doubts and insecurities. Take one step at a time and don't let fear hinder your progress. Trust that God is with you every step of the way and allow Him to prune, cleanse, and lead you. This is an adventure worth embarking on, and God's heart is for you as you grow and shine your light.
Read more...In this blog post, the author shares her personal experiences of fear, anxiety, and insecurity when faced with new things. She emphasizes that embracing new adventures can transform our lives if we say yes to the new path and walk by faith, not by sight. The author provides three steps to overcome fear and embrace new experiences: pray for trust and surrender, partner up with like-minded sisters for support and mentorship, and praise through worship to dissolve worry and cast aside insecurities. She encourages readers to let go of the fear of the unknown and to have faith as they boldly step through open doors.
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